Oh, Mother’s Day. The holiday that stirs up so much trouble for so many. I’ve got multiple posts on my blog related to Mother’s Day (see the search bar) that I wrote long before Jared died because I had so many friends suffering through every second week of May. For me, since my first Mother’s […]Read More
how to survive losing a child
October is here, the leaves are beautiful, and there’s a big aching pit in my stomach. On October 28th, it’ll be 3 years since Jared died. 3 years? It feels impossible, yet here we are, and I know we are far from alone. In August I went to a retreat with 8 other moms from my […]Read More
When Faith Shift entered into the world in 2014 (!) I had a few core things I wanted to communicate—that we weren’t crazy and were weren’t alone in our faith shifts and that the movements I walked through in the book—Fusing, Shifting, Returning, Unraveling, Severing, and Rebuilding—weren’t a formula or a step by step anything. […]Read More
#griefhasnorules – mother’s day mourning
Mother’s Day. I could feel it coming this week but didn’t have a lot of time to let the magnitude kick in too early. I’ve been busy with The Refuge in-a-pandemic and our non-profit, #communityheals, and how to start our #waterheals and #beautyheals seasons in the middle of Coronavirus crazy. While our whole world’s been […]Read More
“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to meSpeaking words of wisdom, let it beAnd in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of meSpeaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it beWhisper words of wisdom, let it […]Read More
beyond words (even though i’m trying to use a few).
It’s been 21 days since the police showed up at my door to tell me our 5th child and twin brother, Jared, died in his dorm room as a college sophomore exactly two weeks short of his 20th birthday. 21 days without his bright light, his “I love you, Mom” texts, his wild and beautiful life on […]Read More
15 years of pastoring, 11 years of blogging, and a new year of not full-time mommying.
January 2019 marks a significant anniversary for me—15 straights years of pastoring. 15! I had been doing pastoral-y things for a chunk of years before but one of my most significant life shifts came when I went on a big church staff January 1st2004 first as the Associate Care Pastor and Adult Ministry Pastor. Two+ years later […]Read More
there are lots of ways to mother (and the world sure needs it right now)
It’s Mother’s Day in the USA today, the time where a bunch of women feel special and extra-loved, and another group of women often don’t. Like so many other holidays, many who feel great about it sometimes forget that there are others who are aching. Church is extra sucky if they make all the mothers stand […]Read More
the mother's day ache.
Mother’s Day is this Sunday. This year it also falls on my 50th birthday, which is kind of wild because I was also born on Mother’s Day. This upcoming Sunday is a happy day for a lot of women. Breakfast in bed, no chores, flowers, handmade cards. I never want to dismiss the awesomeness of […]Read More
Today is Day 2 of Failure Week. I don’t write a bunch about my kids here to honor them; it has always felt really important to me and to them, too, and I never had the luxury of blogging when they were super little and didn’t somehow know what I was saying yet. However, over […]Read More