Oh, Mother’s Day. The holiday that stirs up so much trouble for so many. I’ve got multiple posts on my blog related to Mother’s Day (see the search bar) that I wrote long before Jared died because I had so many friends suffering through every second week of May. For me, since my first Mother’s Day in 2020 as a mom without one of my kids on this earth, the magnitude of how sucky it can be brutally emerged. It has proven to be my second worst time of the year–the reality of such a deep hole in my soul coupled with gratitude for mom-ing him and my 4 living kids that are so good for me is a lot to freaking hold.
All this week I’ve been thinking of everyone who is churny & sad this week.
Who are bracing for impact.
Who miss their mamas (or don’t)
Who wanted to be one.
Who walks by the Mother’s Day card aisle with their head down.
Who hates social media.
Who are wrestling with longing, regret, shame, anger, loneliness and all kinds of real emotions that surface in new ways this time of year.
Who feel guilty for feeling happy.
Oh, Mother’s Day.
My friend Angie Fadel has helped a lot of us with a process of making mantras that we need for certain seasons–just a simple statement that reminds us of the truth, that helps strengthen us, and let sink into our bodies & souls in any way we can. For me this year it’s: “I can make space to hold it all.”
For 2023, I decided that the Saturday (today) before Mother’s Day I can feel all the feels just about Jared. Grief has no freaking rules and it roars this weekend. It doesn’t have to stop on Sunday, but–tomorrow–I am making more room to let in the love and care of my living kids & others who i mom.
I can make space to hold it all and make it through Mother’s Day.
All of our situations are so different about this day, and I’m wondering what you need to make it. Maybe it’s: “I did the best I could”, “I am enough.” , “This is my story.” , “This wound does not define me.” , “I am paving a new legacy.” , “I can hold this pain.”
Bottom line: Do whatever you need to make it through Mother’s Day.
Riding the wave with you.
❤️🩹☯️ #mothersday #griefhasnorules #paradoxing