I was out of the country in Peru last week on a fun spring break adventure with our twins, and when I got back and turned on my computer I saw a flurry of posts related to Vice President Mike Pence’s application of the “Billy Graham Rule.” Never being alone with a woman other than […]Read More
equality & friendship changes everything.
last week i was at an evening centered on rape & the old testament, and it was really powerful to look at the texts through a new lens. the most interesting part to me was that in the conversation afterward somehow, some way, we ended up in the same place i always do when talking […]Read More
the road to equality is paved with friendship.
* this post is part of the february synchroblog. this month’s topic is centered around cross-gender friendships, a topic i have written a lot about over the years. the link list for other bloggers writing on this topic this month are below so check them out. also, i am excited to be part of this year’s […]Read More
friendship: men & women can be friends, here's a place to start
* this is the final post in this series related to cultivating healthy friendship. the other posts are: mind-reading, assumptions, and saying our crazy stuff out loud, safety & boundaries aren’t dumb psychology words, conflict is good (even though most of us hate it), and learning to let go. it’s been fun for me to re-cap […]Read More
the refuge turns 6 years old this month! it’s so hard to believe. some days it seems like yesterday and other days it feels like decades ago. there are many things to celebrate about the past 6 years. i continue to learn more than i ever bargained for about God, life, love, friendship, and leadership. […]Read More
* this is part 2 to the last post: let’s be friends. oh wait, we don’t know how to! i wish learning new things were as easy as taking a class, watching a youtube instructional video, or reading the perfect how-to book that provides all of the answers. for fixing kitchen sinks, it probably works. […]Read More
let's be friends. oh wait, we don't know how to!
“there is nothing on this earth to be more prized than true friendship.” – st. thomas aquinas remember that book, “all i ever needed i learned in kindergarten”? sure, some of what we learned when we were five would be helpful to us as grownups. but i’m also going to make a supposition that even […]Read More
friendship, freedom & a lot less fear
“there is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” st. thomas aquinas uh oh, i’m on my “men and women need to learn how to be friends” kick right now. I think it’s appropriate in light of the shared leadership conversations, too, because it gets to the center of so […]Read More
over, under, beside
“there is always warfare in our hearts; there is always the struggle between pride and humility, hatred and love, forgiveness and the refusal to forgive, truth and the concealment of truth, openness and closedness. each one of us is walking in that passage towards liberation, growing on the journey towards wholeness and healing…” – jean […]Read More
if you’ve been reading here for a while you know i am extremely passionate about cross-gender friendships and men and women learning how to be with each other, side by side, as friends– leading, loving, learning, growing, giving, practicing, sharing, connecting as equals. we have terrible models for this, not only “in the church” but […]Read More