good news gone bad

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, rants 1 Comment

It seems like almost every week there’s another thing to be traumatized about in the news. Between gun violence and political fiascos with big consequences and natural disasters, so many are wrung out. Each time, there’s some kind a “Christian” response. “Let us keep our guns.” “Trump is God’s guy and it’s time to get back to our country’s biblical values.” “Floods are God’s way of warning an unrepentant people.” It’s easy to say that that response comes from a small fringe. That it’s so sad …

narcissism, power, and staying awake.

kathyescobar crazy making, injustice, leadership, rants 10 Comments

I hope you all made it through Thanksgiving okay. I know for many it was likely to be a rough ride, with the reality of family and friends’ who-voted-for-who. We avoided the topic in certain settings, overrun by all 5 kids home for 3 days and knowing it wouldn’t lead to anything productive. I’ll admit, I’ve been in a bit of a fog since November 8th and have bizarre out-of-the-blue moments where I look at my husband or kids while we’re driving and keep repeating, “Donald-freaking-Trump …

“making nice”: the call of the privileged

kathyescobar crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, injustice, leadership, rants 7 Comments

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension. It is the presence of justice.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. We’re 3 1/2 days out from one of the most traumatic elections in modern US history. It’s been brutal, folks. The pain, the grief, the shock, the reality. I was one of those people who believed it would be kind of close, that Donald Trump had indeed made huge inroads and tapped into the depths of American racism, nationalism, sexism, classism, and pretty much every other …

the trump travesty.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, fundamentalism, leadership, rants 39 Comments

On the whole, I stay away from political stuff around here. Once in a while I write something, but the divisiveness is just too crazy and I’d much rather talk about other things. At the same time, over the past several years I have become more clear about how important it is to participate in the political process. Legislation does matter, and we can contribute to change that way. I recently had the privilege of testifying at a Colorado house commitee meeting, speaking against a horrid …

“we want more meat…”

kathyescobar crazy making, down we go, rants, spiritual formation 8 Comments

So far, we’ve covered “But God says…” and “I’m not like those people” over the past few weeks (I’m moving slow; it’s been nutty around here this fall). Today is the last one in this series, at least for now, and is a phrase that I have heard for at least 20 years now (and have said many times myself way back when)–“I really want more meat.” I wrote about it a long time ago in a posted called Meat Lovers Beware! Our Taste Buds Have Been Contaminated …

“i’m not like those people”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, incarnational, rants 12 Comments

I love what “but God says…” stirred up! Here’s the second installment of three phrases that really bug me for all kinds of reasons beyond just nitpicking-ness. Years ago when I first started in healing ministry, one of the biggest obstacles I encountered wasn’t within the groups I was in or led. Those were easy; sure, the amount of pain and honesty and struggle in the room was hard but the people in them were so beautiful and brave that it far outweighed it. The push …

a thing or two about narcissism (+ church).

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, injustice, rants, relationships 72 Comments

For a lot of years now I have been journeying with a lot of women who have been in marriages or relationships with narcissists. I’m not talking about plain old self-absorbedness, of which we all have a touch of in different ways. I’m talking about something far more insidious and confusing, too–people with true blue Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or just-plain-real-and-deep narcissism that makes people around them feel crazy, unempowered, abused, and emotionally stripped. Several years ago The Refuge hosted a gathering for women who had …

things that make me stand on tables & go a little crazy

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, injustice, rants 31 Comments

A few days ago I had a really interesting & unexpected thing happen to me that stirred up a lot of big feelings.  It’s too complicated to go into all of the details, but the essence is this–I criss-crossed with the realities of what happens when conservative Christian power intersects with the work of standing alongside the marginalized and oppressed in more than just words. This wasn’t something related to The Refuge or even me personally but as I heard the story of what happens when some …