injustice
blessed are those who hunger & thirst for righteousness…
* this is fourth in a series focused on the beatitudes in matthew 5. the first three are: blessed are the spiritually poor, blessed are those who mourn & blessed are the meek.
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a few days ago i walked a labyrinth with a friend. no matter how long or short, whenever i carve out quiet time & get some silence & space to connect with God, i am always refreshed somehow. nothing super exciting happened in the moment but i did have this strong and beautiful sense of God’s sureness underneath my feet as i walked.
it was the world’s ugliest labryinth (really) and it was a little windy & cold outside but as i walked i started noticing these little rocks that were sparkly & shiny here and there. they were scattered within the stark brownness of the rest of the path. i felt this sense of God whispering, “notice the beauty…don’t miss the beauty…see, it’s here…sometimes it’s hard to notice but it’s there.” in the middle of the mess of living in the trenches with people, sometimes i just get tired. the needs always are bigger than our resources. pain doesn’t magically disappear. poverty is complicated. abuse has long-lasting and brutal effects. and a Jesus-centered life of descent as opposed to the life of ascent (even though that one’s taught in Jesus’ name, too) is definitely a bumpier road.
but that’s the road that Jesus is calling us to in the beatitudes. it is a beautiful road. and an ugly road (my friend deb made up a new word–beautifugly). and most definitely the road i want to continue to walk because there’s so much to be learned here.
in this fourth beatitude, Jesus says, “blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (NIV). in the NLT it says, “blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied.” the word in the king james for righteousness in the broader sense is centered on the way toward a state approved of by God, integrity, purity, virtue of life. in the narrower sense, it is justice.
there are three parts of this beatitude to consider.
the first is the “hunger and thirst” part. this implies that we aren’t where we want to be. we aren’t satisfied with the status quo. we want more. people who are hungry and thirsty will go to pretty big lengths to try and find food & water. embedded in these words are longing, desire, and some kind of movement.
in this past week i have had several conversations centered around women & the church. biblical equality is such a foreign concept in so many evangelical circles & every time i think about the inequality & the perpetuating of oppression toward women that is basically the norm i get all riled up. and it reminds me just how powerful the status-quo-and-what-we’ve-always-been-fed is. if it doesn’t affect us, often we don’t really care. if everyone else is doing it or buys into it or throws “God says” into the sentence, shouldn’t we, too? hungering and thirsting after integrity looks to me like a holy-stirring inside that says “things are not right and i want to play a part in making them right.”
the second part of the beatitude–righteousness–might easily mispoint us toward personal piousness & making sure we somehow have our own ducks in a row. but what if we read it more corporately and considered communally what hungering and thirsting for integrity & justice really looked like in action? so much of what i had been taught in a lot of my contemporary christian experience was focused on “personal righteousness”–basically making sure that i was “right with God” somehow. it centered on thinking the right thoughts & believing the right things. when i read this now, i see something far deeper. i see a corporate thirst for integrity & wholeness that comes not from ascending up toward God, getting one step away from our humanity and one step closer to godliness, but rather a descent toward embracing our humanness & need for God & the wholeness that comes from that.
the last part of the beatitude says that the blessing of hungering and thirsting for righteousness is that we will be fed, filled, satisfied. i don’t think this is a contentment that brings stagnation or inaction. but i think it is a contentment that is God-fuel, holy spirit reminders like the one i got yesterday at the labyrinth–“i’m here, strong and firm, i’m underneath you, and i’m making beauty in the ugliness.” as i was walking the labyrinth the lovely words of julian of norwich, the 14th century mystic, came to me. i knew it must somehow be God because it is very rarely something that i reference or think of. she says, “all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” somehow that’s what satisfied, full, filled somehow means to me.
in the midst of Jesus’ seemingly-crazy-upside-down-living we can have deep peace. in the midst of longing for change in our own lives, in the lives of the world & the neighborhoods & churches & families, we can have deep peace. in the midst of embracing our humanity & letting God work in our lives, we can have deep peace. in the midst of actively pursuing justice & advocating for change, we can have deep peace.
God, help us be people who long for change, in our own lives & in the communities we live in. and then, guide us as we act on those longings and pursue justice, integrity, wholeness and healing. may we experience your deep peace in the midst.
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ps: i posted this on facebook but i thought i’d share it here, too, as i know some of you aren’t on there. it’s really great stuff from my friend craig spinks & recycle your faith called unprogrammed relationships. watch this one & also the one called a loving contempt.
it’s easy to be against equal rights when we have them
one of the reasons I like synchroblogging is because it forces me to write about topics that I wouldn’t necessarily come up with on my own. liz dyer decided to really stir the pot with october’s topic—“legalizing same-sex marriage.” whoa! these kinds of moments help me think through the issue a little more clearly & hear others write about the same topic from different perspectives, too. links i have so far are at the bottom of this post, but the complete list will be on liz’s blog.
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one thing I can never get my head around is how we as “christians” can spend so much energy around certain hot-button topics and ignore so many other important ones. it makes me so sad that somehow we are known in this world for being anti-gay, republican, and extremely judgmental. i remember years ago seeing the study that was done somewhere in california where people were asked “what do you think of when you hear the word ‘christian’?” the responses were: “judgmental, mean, anti-homosexual, republican.” when asked the question, “what do you think of when you hear the word ‘Jesus’”, they responded with “loving, kind, compassionate, merciful.” christians on the whole aren’t known for our love. it’s a little like what Gandhi says—“I like your Christ, but your Christians are not like your Christ.” that makes me sad.
so when it comes to this issue of legalizing same-sex marriage, it follows that somehow we’d be known as being some of the biggest, angry proponents against it.
i am not gay. i don’t know what it feels like to be gay.
but I have a lot of friends who are. and I do think that they have the right to legally marry if they want to be.
i completely respect that there are people who view the Bible as crystal clear against homosexuality and I understand how this law is one that they wouldn’t necessarily agree with. at the same time, I can’t for the life of me think why they’d spend so much time and energy jumping up and down about it when it really doesn’t affect them, really. people can keep on doing their thing as heterosexuals & mind their own business. but that’s not how it often works. instead of respectfully seeing the issue differently, somehow some have to use a bullhorn and make their position known and “fight for what they’re sure is right.” I think it’s kind of ridiculous, really, especially when Jesus came to cut across the crazy religious and political systems that everyone was ascribing to. when i read the gospels, i don’t see Jesus clamoring for “family values.” i see him advocating for mercy, grace, and healing for the outcasts & marginalized & chastising everyone who thinks that “right religion ” is the answer.
i honestly think some of the religious clamoring when it comes to politics & religion comes from just plain ol’ being scared (years ago, i was there, and i think that was my predominant feeling–fear).
- we live in fear instead of trust in a big, big God.
- we try to control instead of let go.
- we think we have to be the policeman and gatekeepers of our interpretation of “God’s truth.”
- we have to create an “us and them” to keep the riff-raff out.
- we have to “win” or else somehow “God loses.”
- we refuse to let ourselves feel what it might really, really be like to walk in someone else’s shoes.
- we want to separate ourselves from what we don’t agree with instead of engage in kind, loving, respectful relationship together despite our differences.
while we don’t have to agree wholeheartedly with all of the principles & doctrines of every church or every law that gets made, i think we need to respect that laws that are made to protect individual’s rights. history tells us that equal rights for women & for people of color have faced (and continue to) uphill battles. and we can’t forget how the Bible has been used to support oppression of both of those groups, too. the issue of legalizing same-sex marriage is about giving people equal rights & value as human beings.
i also do not think every church or individual needs to support gay marriage; if it violates the tenants of anyone’s interpretation of faith, then of course anyone should have the freedom to kindly not participate. but the key word is “kindly.” this is what gets us into all kinds of trouble. i have a dear lesbian friend who communicates her heart well. she is so clear about respecting that “not everyone has to agree with who i am but please, oh please, just at least be kind and loving and honor that you don’t understand what it’s like to be me.” I do not think that’s too much to ask. if i were gay, that is what I would hope from my brothers & sisters. not hate. not judgement. not ugliness and division. just some understanding. and maybe some application of “the golden rule.”
personally, i want to be known as a dignity restorer, not a dignity stripper. i want to be willing to walk in another person’s shoes and have some understanding of what it must be like. and i hope that some day “the church” is known for its heart to love & advocate for the marginalized across all kinds of dividing lines instead of feeling the desperate need to be God’s policemen.
i’d love to hear some of your thoughts, too.
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other bloggers participating this month:
Kathy Baldock at Canyonwalker Connections – Marriage “I Do” For Who
Dan Brennan at Faith Dance – Sexual Difference, Marriage and Friendship
Steve Hayes at Khanya – Same Sex Marriage Synchroblog
Sonja Andrews at Calacirian – In Defense Of Marriage
John C O’Keefe – Exactly What Is Gay Marriage
Liz Dyer at Grace Rules – Nobody knows why or how same-sex marriage is harmful
Herman Groenewald at Along The Way – Same Sex Debate
Margaret Boelman at Minnowspeaks – What Have We Done
David Henson at unorthodoxology – ban marriage
Erin Word at Mapless – Synchroblog: Legalizing Same Sex Marriage
Joshua Jinno at Antechurch – The Church Is Impotent
k.w. leslie – mountains, molehills & same sex marriage
Peter Walker at Emerging Christian – Synchroblog – Same Sex Marriage
Tia Lynn Lecorchick – Conservative Christians and Same Sex Marriage
Read Moreit’s a lot easier to be against immigration reform when you have papers
* i wrote this post months & months ago, before everything broke out in arizona. i never finished it & decided to now as part of this month’s synchroblog. check out the other links at the bottom of this post. lots of interesting stuff!
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one of the most controversial and popular posts i have ever written was about health care reform called it’s easy to be against health care reform when you have insurance. i always joke that i wish people would get as riled up about justice & equality & mercy for the poor and marginalized as much as they get riled up about the thought of government-run health care. it is always interesting to me what presses people’s hot buttons; well, it’s more weird than interesting, and i wonder what might be different in the world if christians took all the time they spent arguing about Bible interpretation and channeled it into advocating for the least of these instead.
i am very passionate about immigration reform for a variety of reasons. first and foremost, i believe that as a Christ-follower, it is my responsibility to advocate for those without voice & power regardless of race, gender, socioeconomics & a wide variety of other reasons why people are oppressed & marginalized. also, my husband is hispanic; his parents immigrated to the US from el salvador when he was four years old. they had papers & are some of the most dedicated, loyal, faithful american citizens this country could ever ask for. at the same time, they have helped many people over the years get their papers, find their way, and learn how to make a life here. lastly, while i respect that the laws of this land are very complicated, just because it’s the law doesn’t mean i have to agree with it or that it’s right.
i am not going to get into all the ins and outs of immigration reform in this blog; the best sources for that are sojourners, who always do a great job of really breaking down the issues & helping us understand what’s at stake and how we can influence government decision making.
the part that i’d like to focus on is what’s going on inside each of us about it. why are we scared of illegal immigrants? what if we were treated like them? are we willing to look seriously at the power dynamics that lie underneath and respect that it goes far beyond just a current events issue?
here are some of my half-baked thoughts about why i think it’s easy to be against immigration reform when we have papers.
- we must come face to face with how much we feel threatened by people who aren’t like us. i think this is a big issue in this conversation because we tend to be so segregated in all kinds of ways–across socioeconomics, race, religious preferences, etc. i can’t tell you how many people who make derogatory comments about spanish speakers speaking spanish in public. why does that freak us out so much? it’s just their language, and um, even though we act like it, english-speakers aren’t the center of the universe. i think we need to examine our prejudices. i noticed one time when i was driving down the street how i locked my doors when i came to a street corner with some african american kids standing on it. it felt horrible, my reflex reaction, and i have reflected on that moment many a time. i think we must continually examine the truth in our hearts about how we feel about people who are different from us. why do they scare us? what makes us feel weird around them? what does it say about us? what is God stirring up in us about it?
- we need to respect that each and every one of these “illegal immigrants” have a story. real, ugly, beautiful stories of a life on this earth with no power and margin. they are mothers & fathers & daughters & sons just like us, with the same hopes & dreams & desires & fears. they tell tales of abuse and hunger and thirst and life and love. not one of the people i know who have immigrated here ever wished that they had to, in a similar vein that i don’t know one single woman who has had an abortion that wanted to. oh, it’s so easy to say “well, they could have just stayed and figured it out” but my response to that is “try it for a while and see how desperate you might get to build a better life for your kids.” true compassion comes from putting ourselves in another man’s shoes. it’s so easy to point when we’ve never been there.
- throwing in the “you always have to follow the law no matter what” argument is very inconsistent with many biblical stories. yes, no doubt, i am all for following the laws & rules of a culture and God’s word talks about submitting to the authorities. at the same time, we are also called to “follow God, not man”; look at the story of abraham, an illegal immigrant who lied to protect his family & left all that he knew behind. he is the father of israel yet in this current culture he would be in the ICE facility waiting to get deported. i just think we can’t get away from the reality that regardless of how they got here, they are here & we have to look at the much bigger story about our humanity, our hearts, power & the dynamics of inclusion & exclusion over the government’s laws. some good material on this has been written by r. danny carroll who is an old testament professor at denver seminary called christians at the border: immigration, the church, and the Bible. i haven’t read it but i had the chance to glance through it and it looked really solid.
- is it possible we’re jealous of how hard others work? i am just wondering, that’s all. it’s a little like the workplace where everyone gets mad at the hard worker for working faster than they are because it means that others might have to up our game?
- physical borders represent emotional borders. i think tighter restrictions on border control and the idea of a mile high electric fence that “keeps the riffraff out” is a metaphor for something far deeper that is going on within us in our lives, our communities, and our churches. we protect and insulate ourselves instead of learning and embracing others. our lines get drawn and we hide behind them because it’s “the law” instead of engaging in the hard work of humbling ourselves and respecting we might have something to learn from people who aren’t like us. this happens with world religions, racial differences, socioeconomic differences, and a whole host of other dividers.
- these friends are living in fear and without basic human rights. my husband is a pro-bono lawyer & works with domestic violence victims in denver, mainly spanish speakers. through him i hear story after story of women who are being stripped of basic human dignity and in horribly abusive situations but are terrified of going to the authorities out of fear for deportation. the immigration authorities aren’t under the same jurisdiction & protections that local law enforcement are and have un-checked power & control that can be really scary.
- since when were the ways of the kingdom of God about protecting ourselves? the ways of Jesus are radically un-self-protecting & require risk & trust & sacrifice. i do not expect all the laws of the land to bend toward Jesus-y ways, but i am always so shocked by a lot of christian’s individual and corporate response to this issue. i think what is at the heart of it is a lack of trust. a feeling that if “we don’t protect ourselves, we’re toast.” by digging in our heels toward self-protection instead of offering it up to those who need it more, we dismiss the power of the Holy Spirit and buy into the lie that this world is about us feeling safe, in control, and comfortable.
oh, please don’t think for a minute i presume to know very much about the ins and outs of immigration legislation. i don’t. but i believe that the reason why this touches such a chord in our hearts is because it taps into core-humanity-issues of prejudice & power & fear. and i think we’d much rather hide behind “because it’s the law” than look at that. i have deep respect for so many people i have encountered out here in blog-land and in denver who are passionately advocating and working tangibly on behalf of illegal immigrants & judicial reform. it has renewed my hope, seeing so many beautiful friends who are using their papers, power, and privilege, they will use those things on behalf of those who don’t. i sorta think that’s what Jesus would do.
ps: below is the song that came to mind as i was writing this post (the bad words are bleeped out). yeah, until we’ve walked a mile in another’s shoes, we don’t know what it’s like to have to choose.
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here are some other bloggers writing on this topic this week. check them out:
Mike Victorino at Still A Night Owl – Being the Flag
Liz Dyer at Grace Rules – Together We Can Make Dreams Come True
Sonnie Swentson-Forbes at Hey Sonnie – Immigration Stories
Matt Stone at Glocal Christianity – Is Xenophobia Ever Christlike?
Steve Hayes at Khanya – Christians and the Immigration Issue
Ellen Haroutunian - Give Me Your Tired …
Bethany Stedman – Choosing Love Instead of Fear
Pete Houston at Peter’s Progress – Of Rape and Refuge
Joshua Seek – Loving Our Immigrant Brother
Amanda MacInnis at Cheese Wearing Theology – Christians and Immigration
Sonja Andrews at Calacirian – You’re Right
Jonathan Brink – Immigration Synchroblog
Peter Walker at Emerging Christian – Synchroblog Immigration Reform
Steven Calascione at Eirenikos – The Jealousy of Migration
George Elerick at The Love Revolution – We’re Not Kings or Gods
Beth Patterson at Virtual Tea House – What we resist not only persists but will eventually become our landlord
K. W. Leslie at The Evening of Kent - On American Immigration
Jeff Goins – When Immigration Gets Personal
Read Moresomebody’s daughter, somebody’s son
hello my dear-friends-from-afar, this is the longest time i have had between posts without trying to take a break since i started the carnival. because this gap was unintentional, it has felt a little weird. but it has also been a good reminder that i am glad i have stayed dedicated to only writing when i actually have something to say instead of trying to make things up. and trust me, the last few weeks have been one big speechless blur. but i’m starting to come out of the fog, yeah!
i did want to share this piece that i shared at this past saturday evening’s refuge gathering. every so often we have benefit concerts called thevenue@thegrange that raise awareness & money for ministries/organizations who are dedicated to loving the marginalized & oppressed. this past saturday we focused on human trafficking & our dear friends at oasis USA. we also are collecting aluminum for cans for hope, a simple, beautiful home-grown ministry dedicated to recycling cans & giving 100% of the proceeds to support women who have been rescued from trafficking. it was a fun simple evening with music & spoken word & food & video. nothing snazzy, just love, refuge-style.
i wrote this piece for this gathering; like all spoken words, it’s kind of hard to recreate the moment. but i would like to share it as a reminder of the ravages of human trafficking & how important it is that we use our voices, our hands, our hearts, our feet on behalf of those who have been stripped of theirs. and to remember that our freedom and others freedom are all tied up together. they are somebody’s daughter, somebody’s son. they are our daughters, our sons. one warning, it’s kind of intense. i swear that in real life, i am really light-hearted, ha ha. but i do take the issue of oppression and abuse extremely seriously.
somebody’s daughter, somebody’s son
they are somebody’s daughter
somebody’s son
made in God’s image,
meant to have liferight now while we sit in this place
bellies full
hearts united
safe in the harbor
somebody’s daughter, somebody’s son is being ripped from their home
and straight into hell.into the fire of abuse, of slavery, of darkness
where dignity is burned and stripped and stripped and burned
where the human heart is made to believe it’s only value is to keep its battered body alive.to be used.
to be raped.
to be tortured.
to be drugged.
to be bought.
to be sold.
to be used.
to be used.
to be used.they are somebody’s daughter
somebody’s son
made in God’s image,
meant to have life.stripped of power,
told not to tell.
stripped of dignity,
told that’s all they’re good for.
stripped of life
told this is how it is.
stripped of their voice,
told no one cares.they are somebody’s daughter
somebody’s son
made in God’s image,
meant to have life.it’s easy to think there’s nothing we can do.
it’s over there.
it’s out of my reach.
our little voice won’t make a difference.
our little money won’t change a thing.
our little life can’t really help.but you see,
it’s not just somebody’s daughter, somebody’s son.it’s your daughter, your son.
your son, your daughter,
my daughter, my son
my son, my daughter
our daughters, our sons
made in God’s image,
meant to have life.they are us.
and we are them.
bound together as God’s creation.yeah,
when i was 14 and i was used, you were used.
and when you–my beautiful-precious-valuable-born-with-God’s-dignity-deep-inside brothers-and-sisters were used. i was used.
and when our other beautiful precious valuable born-with-God’s-dignity-deep-inside brothers and sisters around the world are used,
we are used.i’m tired of seeing people being used.
i’m sick and tired and tired and sick of seeing people be used.yeah, it’s time.
to work for freedom.
to give a rip.
to do our part.
to fight for life.
to use our voice.
to move our feet.
to advocate for the voiceless
to give power to the weakto ask Jesus–the one who sees, the one who knows, the one who cares–to show us, show me
stir us, stir me
move us, move me
remind us, remind me
that it’s somebody’s daughter, somebody’s son
our daughter, our sons, our sons, our daughters,
made in God’s image, meant for life.
my prayer and hope is that in any way we can we do part to advocate for our daughters, our sons here & abroad. they are made in God’s image, meant for life.
i hope you are having a good summer so far. it’s my favorite time of year.
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ps: check out oasis’ traffik free communities initiative. it is focused on community collaboration across public and private agencies & faith communities & everyday ordinary citizens to eradicate trafficking from their city.
ppss: because i’m so behind, i don’t think i ever shared this uncharacteristically-short post i wrote for communitas collective–a place to practice. i also wrote this little piece for the refuge blog on our annual camping trip & why i think it’s the best form of church.
Read Morethe order of the brokenhearted
even though i posted a few days early for international women’s day with the power of being wanted, i want to remind everyone that today, march 8th, is officially it so i hope that each of us take some time today to consider our contributions to the advancement of women in today’s world. i love what mother teresa says “if you can’t feed 100 people, just feed one.” if you can’t help 100 women, just help one. maybe this is by using your power in some small way today on behalf of another woman at work, at school, at home, in some other avenue. maybe it’s by sending money that supports a woman’s empowerment and economic freedom. maybe it’s making a phone call or sending an email that reminds some women in your life of their worth & value. maybe it’s by you as a woman standing a little taller today, stepping into your dignity and worth instead of letting the voices that try to pull you down get the best of you.
i encourage each of you to take just a few minutes and read this powerful declaration of sentiments written by elizabeth cady stanton, a leader in the women’s suffrage movement, 1848 at seneca falls. i read through it last night & was deeply struck by how far it appears we have come but how far we still have to go. i think i’m going to read it as a spiritual discipline every international women’s day (thanks, jessica. please, everyone, read my dear friend jessica roye’s powerful post called the past and future of things. she is in the trenches on the streets of portland co-pastoring home-pdx & is seriously amazing.
i just got back from a lovely convergence weekend up in portland with an amazing group of wise & powerful & courageous women leading & living in all kinds of shapes and forms. i am struck by the need, more than ever, to continue to provide places of encouragement & support so that women’s influence can continue to touch this broken, disconnected world, this broken, disconnected church.
i shared this poem that was written by my blog friend j.ted voigt in his book pages called holy. i highly recommend getting a copy of it as it is packed with beauty & hope for the kingdom. i was privileged to write an endorsement on the back cover, and one of my all-time favorite church-related poems–springtime for a church–was inspired by a post i wrote early on at the carnival called a community where men cry. anyway, i thought in honor of international women’s day i’d share it here, too.
i hope that men & women everywhere join this order of the brokenhearted. that we listen & notice & strain to see what women & the oppressed & marginalized are experiencing. that our hearts break over it. and that we boldly listen to the Spirit’s prompting on what it means for us individually & as communities that care beyond just words.
ORDER OF THE BROKEN HEARTED
We are Holy Order
of the brokenhearted
unreasonably in love
with sinners
nauseated by the though tof sin
hopeful-ly in love with the poor
counting ourselves among them
we strive to help even when we can’t help
as we lack visible, tangible, credible resources
we meet violence with peace
knowing this is
sometimes
how martyrs are made.
Our call to holiness
is a call to broken heartedness
The One who calls us
is The One who heals us
our creed is The Spirit
The Spirit is our only hope
and we are a hopeful
joyful
brokenhearted
brethren
- J. Ted Voigt
i’d love to hear what this stirs up in you.
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a few other links in honor of international women’s day i’d like to point you to, there are so many out there but these are just a few in my inbox this morning:
- jeff mcquilken wrote the voice of the woman. thanks for giving voice to this.
- julie clawson’s international women’s day
- minnowspeaks powerful & honest post two daughters
- my dear friend elaine hamilton is in this week’s recycle your faith video–embracing the mess. she cornered me in the bathroom at a church in san diego and invited me to this group 16 years ago. it changed my life forever & started me on the path toward healing & hope in my relationship with God, myself, and pretty much everyone important to me. safe community is beautiful, empowering thing not just for women but for men, too. we need more places like this.
- and if you haven’t already heard about compathos, please check out the site. my friend cynthia la-grou started it along with a few others & their work is incredible. they are an amazing network dedicated to raising awareness of innovative, collaborative, restorative projects around the world on behalf of social justice issues. check out this piece called women who dare.
the power of being wanted
this monday march 8th is international women’s day. i’ve written a post in honor of it the past 2 years (you can read them here & here) & really wanted to write one this year, too. there’s something powerful about a bunch of people thinking, talking, sharing, listening, learning, about the same topic at the same time. i am not aware of a synchroblog this year, but i might have just been out of the loop & am going to be out of town for the next few days, so thought i’d post today anyway. it’s interesting, too, how this post has evolved. it’s been all over the place, and i am sure that i will share some of the other ideas that floated across my mind in the future but it ended up much more personal than i had expected after an odd but good experience i had yesterday that is so connected to this whole thought of women & the church & the world.
i was at a lovely gathering with some friends who do some great work here in denver on behalf of the poor & oppressed. they are good & kind to me in all kinds of ways. but i was the only woman there. this is not an uncommon feeling to me and in the past i used to take it as a point of pride. now, i see it as a sign that something is wrong. there’s something broken in the system somehow. this group of people are some of the dearest ever, but i realized as the post-group conversation continued that i felt like crying. as i looked around the room i noticed that every single one of those guys had been “wanted” by their organization. recruited, nurtured, included. and how i longed to have that same feeling. sure, i am invited into these meetings because i’m in the trenches with people in hard places and they like me, but i think i have always felt left out because i’ve never been really truly asked to be part of the ongoing work that they are doing. this has absolutely nothing to do with them; there’s no “job” for me there anyway, but i noticed that there was something way bigger going on inside of me that was completely unrelated to this conversation with them.
it is a really cruddy feeling to not be wanted.
and as a woman in christian ministry it is a familiar feeling. i remember how empowering it was 7+ years ago when i first got the call that said “we want you to come and be part of this staff , we need you.” i felt wanted. included. recruited, invited. and when that all went awry and i basically “exited’ that world i know what it feels like to not feel “wanted” anymore.
yes, my community wants me. yes, my friends across all shapes & sizes & beliefs want me. yes, you lovely and faithful readers at least appear to want me. yes, God wants me. yes, once in a while i get a gig or an opportunity that makes me feel a little-extra-wanted.
but on the whole, in the wider system, in the great big christian “church in the sky”, i don’t feel wanted.
how could i? how could so many other women?
there’s a strong and powerful undercurrent in the patriarchical, hierarchical systems that have permeated the church that says to women “we don’t really want you.” well, actually we do, but we want you “if you will play by our power rules” or to “do the grunt work that needs to get done, take care of the kids & keep the world spinning round at church & at home.” but we don’t really want all of you–your powerful, creative, beautiful gifts & powerful, wise, nurturing voice side-by-side us as equals together.
yes, people can start throwing out scripture verses about now about equal in value & different in roles. i am not here to argue this with anyone. we can kindly agree to disagree.
but i feel very confident about this: there are a bunch, and i do mean a bunch, of women who feel unwanted in the place that they should feel the most loved, most valued, most treasured, most encouraged, most free–the wild & beautiful body of Christ. this goes across giftedness, passions, strength, loudness, leadership-ness, etc. in typical christian systems, women have been stripped of much of their value beyond what is useful to the system–which tends to be controlled by men. and i know why they stay; because crumbs from the table are better than no food at all.
yesterday i was struck with that feeling of just feeling hungry.
and tired. on behalf of myself. and behalf of all of the women that i would love to see nurtured, invited, encouraged, recruited, valued, and truly set free.
and of course this stretches far beyond the reach of just the church. we all know that there are millions upon millions of women who are unwanted around the world and in the cities we live in. beautiful daughters of God who are mistreated, unvalued, stripped of their dignity & painfully used as a regular part of their experience here on earth.
so it’s quite easy to say “well, look at how good you have it, be thankful, you could be born in afghanistan or iran or a whole lot worse situations than this.” of that, i have no doubt. trust me, i am thankful beyond measure for my life, my community, my freedom to live out what i believe. but at the same time, i absolutely believe that my freedom & their freedom & your freedom is completely and utterly intertwined. when we are in bondage, they are in bondage. when we are unwanted, they are even more unwanted. when we are more free, they have a chance to be more free. i can’t get away from the harsh reality that the typical christian system keeps the poor, the marginalized, the underrepresented trapped & silenced in all kinds of painful ways.
maybe this is why the women in the gospels were so radically connected to Jesus; they knew the system was brutally bent against them & that somehow, some way, the power of his message set them free. they felt wanted.
and yes i do feel wanted by Jesus. i just sometimes don’t feel wanted by the reflection of his body here on earth. i heard his powerful presence in the car yesterday, in a deep place in my heart: “i never, ever, ever, feed you the crumbs….and kathy, never, ever, ever feed someone else them either.” i know for me this means to do whatever i can, in my own limited ways, to invite fully my brothers & sisters to the table in all their strength, in all their weakness, in all their power & all their lack thereof, in all their beauty, in all their ugliness. to make room. to help others feel wanted.
yet wanting people doesn’t mean saying it is enough. it means actually doing the hard work of creating the space and inviting those who have never had a space at the table, restoring dignity & hope, learning about how deeply engrained these power differentials are, fanning into flame intentional ways of bringing forth what’s been silenced, to begin to respect how without each other we can’t possibly reflect the kingdom of God.
and, most importantly, embracing that the women around the world & in our cities & neighborhoods & families can’t be free when we’re not free & we can’t be free when they’re not free.
i am so grateful for the freedom i have experienced over the past few years & will do what i can to pass it on. at the same time, yesterday i was struck yet again with the magnitude of the problem far beyond just women in leadership–that’s just one small symptom of a much bigger problem: the pervasiveness that years upon years of inequality & oppression & not-being-truly-wanted-and-valued has created for women across all shapes & sizes & walks of life and experiences.
anyway, i think i’m becoming a liberation theologian in all kinds of ways. and as we celebrate international women’s day as a world, my hope is that the church, the reflection of Jesus Christ–what’s supposed to be the most inclusive, valuing, free-ing force on this earth–would pave the way for setting women free and demonstrate with actions that we are wanted.
what do you think?
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ps: i have a guest post up at the evolving church conference blog. it’s in toronto april 10th. i can’t go, but i am sure it’s going to be a great convo. the theme is the kingdom economy. the post i wrote is called new wineskins for new wine. comments are always appreciated & help others learn and think and consider beyond just what was originally written.
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