this kind of jesus is too small for me

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, fundamentalism, rants 11 Comments

i know i sometimes sound like i am dissing the evangelical church and its rigid ways.  please know i recognize there are so many good, lovely, beautiful sincere people in conservative traditional churches who truly love Jesus and are serving him in amazing ways.  at the same time,  i am sometimes struck by how pervasive the “truth” culture is in these systems and how dangerous any potential threat to their systematic theology is.   so here’s something that just happened to me this week. when i first …

quirks r fun

kathyescobar doesn't really go anywhere else, just because i thought it was funny 4 Comments

okay so maybe i really am in blog-land now,  i always used to see these things when i was reading other people’s blogs:  people would get tagged by someone else to respond to some specific questions and then tag someone else.  i always felt left out (typical me, i hate to not be in on the party).  anyway, today i got tagged by glenn and erin to participate (it made me smile and was a good diversion to the crazy & sad week i’ve had (more on …

strain to hear the kinder voices

kathyescobar crazy making, the carnival in my head 14 Comments

every year i make the same new years resolutions. i am really quite pathetic. i always say “okay this year i am going to work out at least 3-4 days a week,  stop eating carbs, lose 15 pounds, be more on top of my friend’s birthdays, and clean my house more regularly.”  usually within a few days of january 1st i have already found an excuse why i can’t work out,  eaten a whole bag of salt and vinegar chips, and significantly added to my mounting …

when is the time?

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, injustice, women in ministry 10 Comments

a few days ago the fam and i went to see the great debaters with denzel washington, the true story of an all-black debate team in the 1930’s that was the first to compete against white colleges.  we love those kinds of movies, ones that stir up great conversation and a desire to make a difference in this crazy world.    it is so painful to see such harsh examples of racism and injustice.  there were too many good lines to recap but one that was the …

2007 was cool…

kathyescobar doesn't really go anywhere else 5 Comments

  in the spirit of wrapping up the year, there would be too many highlights to mention. it was a good year for me.  i am still healing from my mega-church crazy exit at the beginning of ’06 but i think i am really truly done with the big grieving.   this year, the tears dried up. most of the anger has dissipated.  a lot of hope has emerged.   i really like my life now.  i can look back and be thankful for all that i gained …

a newborn baby blog is born!

kathyescobar blog 11 Comments

blogging is the weirdest thing. i never even knew it existed 1 1/2 years ago, but reading them has helped me more than i would have ever imagined.  out here in cyberspace i have discovered i am not crazy.  there are others who have changed, shifted, left behind, let go of old ways of doing church & faith & community, too.   i love blogging at the refuge, but it is a different kind of venue, a diversity of voices and a different format.  this year i thought …

12.3.07 – from the refuge blog…the magi: pagans who see God

kathyescobar jesus is cool, the refuge 0 Comments

it’s 4 weeks until christmas. hard to believe. i know it’s a really sucky time of year for a lot of people. the darkness sets in, depression about money, relationships, life stuff, and the reality of how hard it is to pull off this life somehow becomes more apparent. for me, the holidays usually just feel overwhelming. too many things to do, the days are shorter, the list of to-dos are longer, and next thing i know it’s new years eve and i missed the reason …

9.25.07 from the refuge blog…we’re in good company

kathyescobar jesus is cool, spiritual formation, the refuge 1 Comment

when you think of mother teresa, what words come to mind? for me, i think of “poured out, deeply connected to God, amazingly humble, willing heart, in love with Jesus, filled up. sacrificial love” among many others. i am pretty sure “doubter of God”, “overwhelmed with emptiness”, or “tired of never getting His help the way she wanted” were not words i would have used to describe her. it’s sort of old news, but the recent release of mother teresa’s private letters has been rumbling around …