abuse & christian obstacles to healing.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, out of the darkness 13 Comments

Abuse is rampant, for both women and men. There are so many forms. Emotional. Physical. Sexual. (Often not mentioned in certain lists: Spiritual) The statistics are so painful. (Please, read these) Millions and millions. Each minute of every day. Getting out of an abusive relationship is brutally hard. The ingredients are toxic and paralyzing–the potential consequences of more abuse if others know, fear & shame, the economic realities of leaving, fear & shame, the kids & other family ties, fear & shame, no-self-worth, fear & shame. …

equality matters.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long way to go. Please know that when I write about women’s equality, I’m also not just talking about “church” (although I do believe we’re supposed to be the best reflection of …

different not divided.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, friendship, healing, incarnational, leadership, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge, video convos 7 Comments

One of the things I care the most about is creating spaces and places where people can have hard conversations about life and faith. It’s not the easiest task. And to be honest, it’s much simpler to cultivate a safe space for recovery and healing than it is to create a space to hold our different theological differences in tension. Intra-faith dialogue is sometimes far trickier than inter-faith dialogue. Online conversations, while annoying, are often so much easier than face-to-face, in real life, with people that we …

say something.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I don’t want them to ___________ (you fill in the blank). These are just a short list of things that often rattle around in our head about speaking up when we notice …

little (and big and every size in between) pockets of peace

kathyescobar dreams, incarnational, injustice, leadership 2 Comments

Oh, what a horrid month it’s been.  Beirut, Syria, Iraq, and Paris (and many, many others not highlighted in the news). So much violence, destruction, fear, and confusion. What can we do? How do we carry on with our real lives and not ignore the reality of such deep pain in our fellow humans? We can feel so helpless. I haven’t been writing much this month for all kinds of reasons (mainly, if it doesn’t come, I just don’t force it), but I felt an urge …

8 ways men can advocate for women’s equality.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, friendship, incarnational, leadership, the refuge 15 Comments

Yesterday I had the privilege of sharing on a panel alongside 4 other female pastors & leaders in a room filled with about 25 male pastors & leaders in Denver. Most everyone had evangelical roots, and while some pastored churches others were leading nonprofits and various ministries in town. There was only one purpose: to listen to what it was like to be a woman in ministry.  We had told our stories several months before in a similar forum, but last time the number of women …

race & ferguson & what might be swirling around in our heads and hearts

kathyescobar dreams, equality, incarnational, injustice, leadership 11 Comments

It’s been an interesting paradox of a Thanksgiving week. The joy of having our kids all home for the holiday and not wanting to think of anything other than being together, contrasted with the reality of the painful events in Ferguson and what it means for all of us.    As a white woman of privilege, I’ve been thinking about some of the thoughts, feelings, actions or non-actions a lot of us seem to be wrestling with right now. I’m wondering who might relate to some …

power & transformation.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, faith shifts, incarnational, injustice, leadership, spiritual formation 11 Comments

This month’s Synchroblog was centered on spiritual abuse & redemption. I didn’t have time to write earlier but it is a topic near and dear to my heart. At the Denver Faith and Justice Conference two weekends ago my friend Ryan Taylor shared about 5 stages of power, a blend of Janet Hagberg and Richard Rohr’s work on power. Respecting and understanding these stages is important and something I wish we would talk about more openly, more honestly, more reflectively in small and big pockets. As we get …