our codependent relationship with God

kathyescobar church stuff, doesn't really go anywhere else, ex good christian women, healing, identity 10 Comments

Since I entered into recovery a big chunk of years ago, I came face to face with the realities of my co-dependency. As an adult child of an alcoholic, a 2 on the Enneagram, a pastor, and dyed-in-the-wool people pleaser, I pretty much hit codependency on all cylinders! The truth is most of us are codependent in some way, and it’s not just if we’re in relationship with addicts. All our control and addiction issues have their roots in codependency; it’s part of the human condition. Melody …

equality comes before mutuality.

kathyescobar dreams, equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, leadership 0 Comments

A long while back a Christian blogger wrote a thoughtful response to something I had written about women’s equality in church leadership and said he’d like to hear more about “mutuality” and not just “equality. I replied, “Me, too!” I love absolutely everything about mutuality. In fact, it’s one of my highest values and deepest needs. It means mutual dependence, reciprocity. To me, mutuality is the fullest expression of the kingdom of God. No one over or under another but alongside, mutually submitting to one another, …

failed relationships.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, relationships 2 Comments

Today’s post is a day late for Failure Week, but no one cares except for me, ha ha. I am trying to wrap up a few things before a blog break but I’ve been in the thick of a lot of hard stuff this week. In the midst of it, I have been thinking so much about failure and how pervasive fear of it can be.  So much has to do with expectations of ourselves, of others, of the forces of the world.  It makes me …

failed faith.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing 9 Comments

Well it’s Failure Week here on the blog. If you are just joining us, so far we had a short overview and focused on failed parenting. Today I want to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart because so many I know have or are experiencing it–failed faith. Just like there’s no such thing as failed parenting, I truly believe there’s never failed faith, either. However, there are many of us who either have–or are currently– experiencing some of these things when it comes …

failed parenting.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, mommydom 4 Comments

Today is Day 2 of Failure Week. I don’t write a bunch about my kids here to honor them; it has always felt really important to me and to them, too, and I never had the luxury of blogging when they were super little and didn’t somehow know what I was saying yet.  However, over time, there have been a few–MOMFB–Making Other Mommies Feel Better, Goodly Parenting, Never Say Never, The Kids are Alright, Faith Shifts: What About the Kids? (more if you look at the category “mommydom”). I …

failure week.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, just because i thought it was fun, leadership 2 Comments

I’ve got a few more weeks before I take my annual break-all-the-rules-of-successful-blogging summer sabbatical. I’m a bit behind this year but will be here for 2 more weeks and then gone until september 1st. This week, I wanted to finish up one blog project I have been trying to get to for almost a year now–Failure Week. Grief Week was a few years ago (5 days on the 5 stages of grief) and I’ve been wanting to spend some extra time focusing on an area that …

the kids are alright.

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, faith shifts, mommydom 13 Comments

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, your Newsfeed has been clogged with pictures of my daughter’s college graduation. Oh, what a beautiful weekend we had in New York City celebrating with family and friends. We are so proud of her! After four years in the Bronx, she is now moving on to dental school in the fall. We have now officially graduated two kids from college and have three more to go! Moments like these always cause me to look back and reflect, to consider …

abuse & christian obstacles to healing.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, out of the darkness 13 Comments

Abuse is rampant, for both women and men. There are so many forms. Emotional. Physical. Sexual. (Often not mentioned in certain lists: Spiritual) The statistics are so painful. (Please, read these) Millions and millions. Each minute of every day. Getting out of an abusive relationship is brutally hard. The ingredients are toxic and paralyzing–the potential consequences of more abuse if others know, fear & shame, the economic realities of leaving, fear & shame, the kids & other family ties, fear & shame, no-self-worth, fear & shame. …