my unsolicited advice

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, incarnational, injustice, leadership, women in ministry 2 Comments

For almost 9 years I’ve been writing my guts out about church and faith and life and all my dreams of what could be. Despite the vulnerability and what it’s cost me in certain circles, I’m inspired by the incredible people I’ve met over the years through this blog who are changing systems that need changing, who have moved the needle on equality and justice and greater-emotional-health in the churches and ministries and organizations they are part of. You keep me in! Yet, as much as I’ve …

narcissism, power, and staying awake.

kathyescobar crazy making, injustice, leadership, rants 10 Comments

I hope you all made it through Thanksgiving okay. I know for many it was likely to be a rough ride, with the reality of family and friends’ who-voted-for-who. We avoided the topic in certain settings, overrun by all 5 kids home for 3 days and knowing it wouldn’t lead to anything productive. I’ll admit, I’ve been in a bit of a fog since November 8th and have bizarre out-of-the-blue moments where I look at my husband or kids while we’re driving and keep repeating, “Donald-freaking-Trump …

“making nice”: the call of the privileged

kathyescobar crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, injustice, leadership, rants 7 Comments

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension. It is the presence of justice.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. We’re 3 1/2 days out from one of the most traumatic elections in modern US history. It’s been brutal, folks. The pain, the grief, the shock, the reality. I was one of those people who believed it would be kind of close, that Donald Trump had indeed made huge inroads and tapped into the depths of American racism, nationalism, sexism, classism, and pretty much every other …

lifeway, power, and the cost of telling the truth.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, ex good christian women, faith shifts, fundamentalism, injustice, leadership 9 Comments

In 2007, I co-authored a spiritual formation tool for evangelical women called Refresh. It was a pretty cool project for that long ago; the entire book was printed in full color, magazine-style, and centered on 10 stories of real women (most of who were friends) with journaling and reflection questions, small group discussion ideas, and different ways to engage with the topics. The stories weren’t the typical Bible study ones but included abuse, adultery, abortion, eating disorders, perfectionism, fear and anxiety, and more (the cover doesn’t …

equality comes before mutuality.

kathyescobar dreams, equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, leadership 0 Comments

A long while back a Christian blogger wrote a thoughtful response to something I had written about women’s equality in church leadership and said he’d like to hear more about “mutuality” and not just “equality. I replied, “Me, too!” I love absolutely everything about mutuality. In fact, it’s one of my highest values and deepest needs. It means mutual dependence, reciprocity. To me, mutuality is the fullest expression of the kingdom of God. No one over or under another but alongside, mutually submitting to one another, …

failure week.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, just because i thought it was fun, leadership 2 Comments

I’ve got a few more weeks before I take my annual break-all-the-rules-of-successful-blogging summer sabbatical. I’m a bit behind this year but will be here for 2 more weeks and then gone until september 1st. This week, I wanted to finish up one blog project I have been trying to get to for almost a year now–Failure Week. Grief Week was a few years ago (5 days on the 5 stages of grief) and I’ve been wanting to spend some extra time focusing on an area that …

equality matters.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long way to go. Please know that when I write about women’s equality, I’m also not just talking about “church” (although I do believe we’re supposed to be the best reflection of …

different not divided.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, friendship, healing, incarnational, leadership, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge, video convos 7 Comments

One of the things I care the most about is creating spaces and places where people can have hard conversations about life and faith. It’s not the easiest task. And to be honest, it’s much simpler to cultivate a safe space for recovery and healing than it is to create a space to hold our different theological differences in tension. Intra-faith dialogue is sometimes far trickier than inter-faith dialogue. Online conversations, while annoying, are often so much easier than face-to-face, in real life, with people that we …