you-cant-have-mutuality-without-equality

equality comes before mutuality.

kathyescobar dreams, equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, leadership 0 Comments

A long while back a Christian blogger wrote a thoughtful response to something I had written about women’s equality in church leadership and said he’d like to hear more about “mutuality” and not just “equality. I replied, “Me, too!” I love absolutely everything about mutuality. In fact, it’s one of my highest values and deepest needs. It means mutual dependence, reciprocity. To me, mutuality is the fullest expression of the kingdom of God. No one over or under another but alongside, mutually submitting to one another, …

turquoise frame failure

failure week.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, just because i thought it was fun, leadership 2 Comments

I’ve got a few more weeks before I take my annual break-all-the-rules-of-successful-blogging summer sabbatical. I’m a bit behind this year but will be here for 2 more weeks and then gone until september 1st. This week, I wanted to finish up one blog project I have been trying to get to for almost a year now–Failure Week. Grief Week was a few years ago (5 days on the 5 stages of grief) and I’ve been wanting to spend some extra time focusing on an area that …

on earth as it is in heaven

equality matters.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long way to go. Please know that when I write about women’s equality, I’m also not just talking about “church” (although I do believe we’re supposed to be the best reflection of …

different not divided practicing a third way image

different not divided.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, friendship, healing, incarnational, leadership, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge, video convos 7 Comments

One of the things I care the most about is creating spaces and places where people can have hard conversations about life and faith. It’s not the easiest task. And to be honest, it’s much simpler to cultivate a safe space for recovery and healing than it is to create a space to hold our different theological differences in tension. Intra-faith dialogue is sometimes far trickier than inter-faith dialogue. Online conversations, while annoying, are often so much easier than face-to-face, in real life, with people that we …

speak love say something

say something.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I don’t want them to ___________ (you fill in the blank). These are just a short list of things that often rattle around in our head about speaking up when we notice …

survival of the fittest church

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, incarnational, injustice, jesus is cool, leadership, rants 38 Comments

A few months ago I made a big plate of nachos for all of the kids. Within 10 minutes, they were devoured and I made a joke about how life around here is like “survival of the fittest.” The strongest and most-able-to-elbow-everyone-out-to-get-the-guacamole wins. The past few weeks, I also talked to some amazing pastors & leaders who are some of the most humble and kind and dedicated people I know but are struggling with what it looks like to lead in their contexts. Their communities are …

women, men & church: what hurts, what helps

kathyescobar church stuff, co-pastoring, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 14 Comments

Two fridays ago The Refuge hosted our first “Beyond Seminary: Moving Theology into Practice” gathering. Our amazing friend and seminary professor Dr. Deborah Loyd facilitated and we were challenged, encouraged, inspired in all kinds of ways. There were 25 of us there, 21 women and 4 men. Yep. That was a little hard for me but probably tells the real story. Oh, we have to figure out how to get these conversations more balanced! Real, lasting change will happen when both genders are equally committed to learning and …

what if…

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, incarnational, leadership, the refuge, women in ministry 19 Comments

i was at a really lovely meeting a few weeks ago with a bunch of pastors, and it was wonderfully hopeful except for one thing–there were only three female pastors and a whole lot of white male ones, and not one person of color. even though i know this is reality, it still always startles me. then i heard about a new local church plant that intrigued me. i tried to be hopeful about what type of community it might be, and then i looked at …