race & ferguson & what might be swirling around in our heads and hearts

kathyescobar dreams, equality, incarnational, injustice, leadership 11 Comments

It’s been an interesting paradox of a Thanksgiving week. The joy of having our kids all home for the holiday and not wanting to think of anything other than being together, contrasted with the reality of the painful events in Ferguson and what it means for all of us.    As a white woman of privilege, I’ve been thinking about some of the thoughts, feelings, actions or non-actions a lot of us seem to be wrestling with right now. I’m wondering who might relate to some …

things that make me stand on tables & go a little crazy

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, injustice, rants 31 Comments

A few days ago I had a really interesting & unexpected thing happen to me that stirred up a lot of big feelings.  It’s too complicated to go into all of the details, but the essence is this–I criss-crossed with the realities of what happens when conservative Christian power intersects with the work of standing alongside the marginalized and oppressed in more than just words. This wasn’t something related to The Refuge or even me personally but as I heard the story of what happens when some …

let’s stop joking about the word “whore…”

kathyescobar equality, injustice, rants 29 Comments

This could possibly be my shortest blog post ever, a close second to “we let women lead.” In the past month or so I have heard several different men & women say things like this: “I’m such an approval whore” or “I’m a whore for chocolate” or “I’m an attention whore.”  Everyone laughed. It made me cringe inside and I remember thinking, “This is what happens when your eyes get opened to injustice. You start noticing stuff you never noticed before and then you have to consider …

we have a dream.

kathyescobar dreams, equality, incarnational, injustice, synchroblog 17 Comments

This month’s Synchroblog is centered on Race, Violence, and Why We Need to Talk About It. There’s a link list at the bottom of this post of some other bloggers also writing today. If I were going to recommend one post to read on this subject, read I Need to Say Something Entirely Different to White People on a Deeper Story. When I was thinking of what to write, this is what came to mind. I know the road ahead is long and hard and painful, …

10 tangible ways we can work toward equality in the church.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, friendship, injustice, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

my dear friend & ministry partner recently attended a local leaders gathering and messaged me with a text that essentially said this:  “not one woman speaker, presenter, pray-er, anything-at-all-er. see, i am starting to notice it!”  i wrote him back, “yep, it’s real, and it sucks and thanks for noticing.” also this week i heard about this post by ed stetzer about his fear of being alone with a woman who wasn’t his wife;  it made me feel so sick and sad, to think how these commandments …

“i just don’t see how he could do that” & some thoughts on abuse

kathyescobar crazy making, healing, identity, incarnational, injustice 21 Comments

**warning: this post is about sexual abuse (and emotional, physical, and spiritual too) and so if you are extra sensitive to this topic, please know there could be possible triggers. abuse is one of the most damaging things that can happen to someone. and there’s never an excuse for it. young or old, male or female, or all of the different circumstances of where, when, and how the abuse happened don’t make a difference in its impact. once it happens, that person’s life is forever changed. i’ll …

10 field trips worth taking.

kathyescobar church stuff, incarnational, injustice, spiritual formation 5 Comments

everal years ago i wrote a post for an online magazine called “a field trip everyone should take” centered on some of my experiences at social services agencies.  it’s just so easy to say things like “well, those people just need to get a job….” or “they are lazy” or quickly end people to get services at some of these agencies and have no idea how truly complicated it is to even make it past the first form that needs to be filled out.  my premise …

making another’s pain in their heart our own.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, injustice, women in ministry 11 Comments

e got back last night from our fun adventure, celebrating my third kid’s high school graduation a little early.  the passport debacle was redeemed and we had a great time (and yes, will be getting the twins passports renewed this week). it really was a perfect & annoying test for my river image for 2013 & now 2014. we definitely rolled with it. on our trip i read one of the best books i’ve read in a while–the invention of wings by sue monk kidd.  i had no idea …