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Posted on Jul 18, 2011 in equality, healing, injustice | 24 comments

white privilege, male privilege, straight privilege, economic privilege

white privilege male privilege straight privilege economic privilegei will never know what it’s like to be a person of color.  i can only listen and learn from my friends & family who are.

i will never know what it’s like to be gay.  i can only listen and learn from my friends & family who are.

i will likely never know what it’s like to be poor and live in section 8 housing.  i can only listen and learn from my friends & family who are.

but i do know what it’s like to be a woman leader in a man’s world.  i know what it feels like to be excluded. i know what it feels like see doors open & checks written & support given to men-with-the-connections while i struggle and scrape.  i know what it’s like to be on the underside of power and how helpless and dignity-stripping it can feel.

and those who are men can never know what it’s like.  they can only listen and learn from their friends & family who are women.

white privilege, male privilege, straight privilege, economic privilege are real.

i’ve heard it dismissed sometimes, heard white people talk about “the minorities get all the jobs and get to go to the top of the line now”.  heard men talk about “i don’t know what women are talking about, we ask them to be part but they always say no.“  heard straight people talk about “gay people have more rights now than i do” and economically stable people talk about “if those poor people would just work harder & smarter they wouldn’t have so many problems.”

it’s so easy to talk when we don’t know what it feels like to be another person, to walk in another person’s shoes.

we should never deny the reality and power of white privilege, male privilege, straight privilege, and economic privilege.  the power each of these carry is real and must be acknowledged.

when we hold the privilege we must do our part to listen to those who don’t.

this is no easy task, but we will need brave men & women who are willing to lead these conversations–to provide listening posts to hear from those on the underside of the privilege.  to learn what it feels like.  to learn what might help shift things.  to learn a better way.

we do not need to do feel guilty for being white, male, or straight or having money in the bank; that’s definitely not the idea here but is the easiest place for us to default.  we each are who we are, were born how we were born.  but i do believe strongly that we need to understand the power that comes from it instead of pretend it doesn’t exist or shoo it away as someone else’s problem.  re-thinking power is important.

in the kingdom of God there should be no white privilege, male privilege, straight privilege, economic privilege.  Christ breaks down all of those barriers. but the kingdom of God won’t just drop out of the sky.  we will have to work hard, sacrifice our time, ego, hearts, and pride to create it.  we will have to let go of assumptions that “it’s not that big of a deal” when we’re the ones with the privilege.

at the same time, when we are the ones who don’t have the privilege we will have to be brave enough to sit at the table with those who do & listen to their hearts & stories, too.  we will have to create containers for understanding & love & hope & possibility of a better way--together.

God, show us how to listen well to each other–those with privilege to those without, those without privilege to those with it.  help us boldly act to break down the barriers that divide, oppress, and strip dignity. help us each play our part in practicing equality–not just in theory but in tangible, active ways that restore, reconcile & renew us individually & corporately.

this post has been rattling around in my head for a little while & i finally got it out.  i’d love to hear some of your thoughts….

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Posted on Apr 8, 2011 in crazy making, equality, fundamentalism, injustice, leadership, women in ministry | 100 comments

why sometimes i get sad

inequalitylast month a mainline pastor from a small town outside of denver got in touch with me to see if i would be willing to come speak to their high school’s baccalaureate service in may.  they were looking for a female pastor, someone who would inspire the kids & open up some doors that hadn’t been opened previously by some of the standard baccalaureate sermons/messages.

i really appreciated his enthusiasm & desire to press the envelope a little (and the date worked for jose & i to go together & have a fun night away afterward) so i said yes.

yesterday i got an email from him letting me know that unfortunately when the other pastors and leaders found out that a female pastor was speaking, they banded together to reject the idea.  they said they couldn’t listen to someone they didn’t agree with and strong-armed a very conservative evangelical into the spot instead.

his email was so kind, and he was so sad that his hope got hijacked.  he tried to fight the good fight and just couldn’t make it happen.  i ended up talking to him on the phone just to make sure i was clear what he was really saying and didn’t misunderstand.  i asked, “so, is it really just the woman pastor thing or is it about my beliefs or ?“  he said that the woman thing was definitely the main issue, the deal breaker, and anything that remotely is connected to the word “emerging” was just icing on the cake.

we had a nice conversation & i really felt bad for him, really.  it’s a drag when you can see a different way & have hope for what could be and tradition & power sucks everyone back under.

for me, it’s now just one less thing to do in a busy month.  but, it hurts.  it just does.  it’s hard to not have it hurt.  one of the reason is it’s not one isolated incident.  it comes upon a long string of these over the years that get really tiring and discouraging.

the system is broken, my friends.  it truly is.  it’s so easy for people to think that we’ve come a long way but everyone needs to know how far we still have to go.

the insidious-ness of gender inequality is ugly.  and deep.  in the big scheme, it has nothing to do with baccalaureate speakers.  it has everything to do with power & oppression & stripping women of their dignity & silencing voices that were created by God to speak, to create, to dream, to inspire, to partner, to nurture, to build, to love freely.

so, that’s why i’m a little sad this week.  a little beat-up, a little burned out.  a little sick to my stomach.

and very grateful that i never, ever feel this in my community or in my marriage or with those on the fringes.   i am so thankful. they help me hold on to hope.  men & women alongside each other as equals is a beautiful thing.

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