life shifts: finding our way forward when everything changes

kathyescobar healing, identity, spiritual formation 0 Comments

When I wrote Faith Shift over 4 years ago my husband, Jose, read the draft manuscript. After he finished, he was really excited and said “The entire time I was reading it I kept thinking how much of this applies to life transitions, not just faith or church ones.” I was busy focusing on faith shift conversations and didn’t think too much about it until this past year when I noticed countless moments with people who were sharing other transitions—divorce, job changes, deaths, all-things-children, mental or physical …

our codependent relationship with God

kathyescobar church stuff, doesn't really go anywhere else, ex good christian women, healing, identity 10 Comments

Since I entered into recovery a big chunk of years ago, I came face to face with the realities of my co-dependency. As an adult child of an alcoholic, a 2 on the Enneagram, a pastor, and dyed-in-the-wool people pleaser, I pretty much hit codependency on all cylinders! The truth is most of us are codependent in some way, and it’s not just if we’re in relationship with addicts. All our control and addiction issues have their roots in codependency; it’s part of the human condition. Melody …

Goddamage.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, identity, incarnational 13 Comments

The other day I made up a new word without even knowing it. I was hanging out with some of my favorite people in Denver at our spiritual formation-support-group-hanging-with-people-who-understand-how-hard-this-work-in-the-trenches-is, casually talking about the fall-out of controlling ministry practices. In response to one of the comments, I said, “The truth is that just perpetuates God damage.” I guess I said it kind of quickly and so it came out “Goddamage.” Goddamage. Say it fast. Dammit it, I am so sick of Goddamage! Seriously. There are many people …

formation friday: enneagram love (and hate)

kathyescobar formation friday, healing, identity, spiritual formation, the refuge 46 Comments

i know so many people despise personality tools. they hate how they put us in boxes and label us and limit us.  i get that, but i think they can be really helpful tools to better understand ourselves, too. a few years ago i intersected with the enneagram, which in some christian circles is considered somehow taboo because of its jungian roots, but i can honestly say that out of all of the personality tests i have ever taken it has been the most helpful–and the …