everyone’s fighting some kind of battle.

kathyescobar healing, incarnational, injustice 40 Comments

a few weeks ago a dear friend from high school posted this picture of me on facebook. i’m totally embarrassed to share it here, but i thought i’d be brave to make a point. yes, i was the basketball homecoming queen my senior year of high school. don’t hold it against me. and yes, homecoming queens and cheerleaders can be nice people, ha ha. i hadn’t looked at this picture in years, but when i did, this thought crossed my mind:  if they only knew. yeah, …

corrective experiences

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, healing, identity, incarnational, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 26 Comments

“you’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. we’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. if i make you light-bearers, you don’t think i’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? i’m putting you on a light stand. now that i’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! keep open house; be generous with your lives. by opening up to others, you’ll prompt …

what seems to help in the midst of pain

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, incarnational, leadership, synchroblog, the refuge 44 Comments

“when we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. the friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with …

formation friday: forgiveness

kathyescobar formation friday, healing 22 Comments

it’s been a few weeks since i’ve posted a formation friday. this is a crazy month for us at the refuge & my kids home for spring break & getting moving on the book & all kinds of other typical chaos.  it’s been a really good lent at the refuge focused on “hunger.” one of the things so many of us hunger for is freedom and peace.  we want to feel less crazy brain & more peace. less burdened & more free.  less insecure & more loved.  less burdened …

whatever you do, don’t let them take your faith.

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing 58 Comments

almost exactly 7 years ago i lost my job as a pastor on a mega-church staff. it was one of the craziest, weirdest, surreal, dysfunctional experiences of my life and there are some days where i still shake my head and wonder “did that really happen?” but oh, it sure did.  it was ugly & messy and i am so thankful for time & healing & faithful friends & a good-God-who-never-gives-up-on-the-brokenhearted. that’s what i was 7 years ago–brokenhearted. i had given my life & my family & …

comfortable in our own skin

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, identity, incarnational, jesus is cool, spiritual formation, the carnival in my head 30 Comments

one of the things i’ve always tried to do here is write from my heart. to be as honest as i could.  to not worry about who would think what.  it’s pretty hard to do!  there are so many different tribes out here in online-land with different passions & people & ways-of-living-out-their-faith.  for the past five years, i have always struggled with not fully connecting with any of them. for some folks, i’m not sufficiently theological or liturgical or serious or christian or universalist or denominational …

daddy love

kathyescobar healing, incarnational, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 25 Comments

every sunday  night we go over to my mom’s for dinner.  it all started a few years ago when the refuge used to meet on sunday nights; when she’d come i’d give her $20 to take the kids to mcdonald’s on the way home for me.  she hates fast food and after a few weeks said “i’m going to make good food at my house for everyone instead”.  several years ago the refuge moved  to saturday night but we still go over to her house faithfully …

our drinking-vodka-out-of-frozen-turkeys

kathyescobar advent & lent, healing, identity, spiritual formation, the carnival in my head 13 Comments

i hope everyone had a really great holy week.  it was a wild one around here & i loved it in all kinds of ways.  we did a beautiful & simple good friday gathering & then a fun & so-refuge easter celebration on saturday night.   easter is my favorite season; to me there is so much beauty in the reminder that out of death & darkness new life emerges–over and over and over again.  death, grief & resurrection (i call it friday-saturday-sunday living) is not something …