“i just don’t see how he could do that” & some thoughts on abuse

kathyescobar crazy making, healing, identity, incarnational, injustice 21 Comments

**warning: this post is about sexual abuse (and emotional, physical, and spiritual too) and so if you are extra sensitive to this topic, please know there could be possible triggers. abuse is one of the most damaging things that can happen to someone. and there’s never an excuse for it. young or old, male or female, or all of the different circumstances of where, when, and how the abuse happened don’t make a difference in its impact. once it happens, that person’s life is forever changed. i’ll …

5 false things the church often teaches us about healing

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, faith shifts, healing, incarnational 44 Comments

i have a theory about healing:  most of us need it, a lot of us want it, and many of our church experiences have taught us some things that make it harder to get. this makes me sad, mainly because church is supposed to be a place of healing, the safest place on earth to be transformed, a sacred space to experience God’s love & the love of people and be renewed over and over again.  i have come to believe that those of us who …

reality.

kathyescobar down we go, friendship, healing, incarnational, jesus is cool, the refuge 7 Comments

the other night at the refuge a friend slipped me a vodka bottle and said, “here, i really wanted to drink it but i know it’ll just mess things up more.” i was so proud of her and promptly went to the bathroom and dumped it out (i am really good at throwing out all kinds of drugs & alcohol & porn & razor blades & weird-things-people-need-to-get-rid-of-to-stay-safe). i have some really funny stories of things i hope and prayed a policeman would never pull me over …

habits of the heart

kathyescobar church stuff, fundamentalism, healing, incarnational, leadership 5 Comments

through an awesome friend’s connection, i recently became part of an inter-faith group here in denver, faith leaders from many different traditions coming together once a month to share and learn together. i am new to it so just kind of getting the groove and listening as much as i can, but it has been a really interesting experience and something i have been wanting to do for a while.  my favorite part of it is that each person there can speak from their particular tradition …

formation friday: enneagram love (and hate)

kathyescobar formation friday, healing, identity, spiritual formation, the refuge 46 Comments

i know so many people despise personality tools. they hate how they put us in boxes and label us and limit us.  i get that, but i think they can be really helpful tools to better understand ourselves, too. a few years ago i intersected with the enneagram, which in some christian circles is considered somehow taboo because of its jungian roots, but i can honestly say that out of all of the personality tests i have ever taken it has been the most helpful–and the …

everyone’s fighting some kind of battle.

kathyescobar healing, incarnational, injustice 40 Comments

a few weeks ago a dear friend from high school posted this picture of me on facebook. i’m totally embarrassed to share it here, but i thought i’d be brave to make a point. yes, i was the basketball homecoming queen my senior year of high school. don’t hold it against me. and yes, homecoming queens and cheerleaders can be nice people, ha ha. i hadn’t looked at this picture in years, but when i did, this thought crossed my mind:  if they only knew. yeah, …

corrective experiences

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, healing, identity, incarnational, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 26 Comments

“you’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. we’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. if i make you light-bearers, you don’t think i’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? i’m putting you on a light stand. now that i’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! keep open house; be generous with your lives. by opening up to others, you’ll prompt …

what seems to help in the midst of pain

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, incarnational, leadership, synchroblog, the refuge 44 Comments

“when we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. the friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with …