may we clear away these rocks and stones

abuse & christian obstacles to healing.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, out of the darkness 8 Comments

Abuse is rampant, for both women and men. There are so many forms. Emotional. Physical. Sexual. (Often not mentioned in certain lists: Spiritual) The statistics are so painful. (Please, read these) Millions and millions. Each minute of every day. Getting out of an abusive relationship is brutally hard. The ingredients are toxic and paralyzing–the potential consequences of more abuse if others know, fear & shame, the economic realities of leaving, fear & shame, the kids & other family ties, fear & shame, no-self-worth, fear & shame. …

gods got us

God’s got us.

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 12 Comments

A chunk of months ago I had the most amazing conversation with a reader of Faith Shift about the fear involved in Unraveling once tightly held beliefs. It’s a long story, but there was a beautiful sincerity in her words that I know she isn’t alone in. What if, at the end of the day, we go too far in this whole faith shifting thing? What if there’s some elusive line that we cross over in our transformation that means that God’s done with us completely? …

God in the thick of us

God in the thick of us.

kathyescobar advent & lent, healing, incarnational, jesus is cool 8 Comments

Happy Christmas Eve. I am juggling kids and Refuge this week with no time to write but always come back to the gift of Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us. It’s one of the deepest spiritual truths that continues to sustain me and was the one thing that I could always rely on during my crazy faith Unraveling.  This is a post I wrote for She Loves Magazine 3 years ago but I think I’d write the same thing today. Tonight we celebrate God with us, in …

screwing up is spiritual formation

formation friday: screwing up as spiritual formation

kathyescobar formation friday, healing, spiritual formation 8 Comments

I make a lot of mistakes. I say stupid things I regret. I dig holes when I should lay down my shovel. I hurt people unintentionally. I hit “send” on emails when I wish I hadn’t. I write things on my blog that sometimes make me cringe later. The past few months I had some extra screw ups, moments where I wish I could turn time back, where I knew I said too much and it caused more damage. There were moments where if I had …

together we are better larche picture

human connection.

kathyescobar down we go, friendship, healing, incarnational, spiritual formation 6 Comments

Some of you may have already seen this excellent video that points to a recent study that confirms what so many have known intuitively–the root of all addictions is disconnection. It’s really worth the time to watch it and reminds me of what one of my favorite theologian-practictioners in the whole-wide-world, Jean Vanier, has been saying for a long, long time:  “We human beings are all fundamentally the same. We all belong to a common, broken humanity. We all have wounded, vulnerable hearts. Each one of …

the best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better

“um, well, it depends on what you mean by ‘Christian'”

kathyescobar crazy making, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, incarnational 9 Comments

In the earlier days of my faith, knowing who was and wasn’t a “Christian” was a big deal to me. There was something attached to it that was comforting, familiar, certain. When I look back on those years, “Is he/she a Christian?” would come up in countless ways–related to teachers, doctors, family members, auto mechanics, friends, you name it. Now, if I hear it, I often feel myself tense up and my skin get a little itchy. I feel weird about my reflexive response because I …

fusing - test copy

fusing: the 10 commandments.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, healing 20 Comments

Well, like so many other areas of my life, sometimes when I make plans, they fall apart. I had wanted to work on this series a few weeks ago as I prepare to take a summer blog break, but just never got to it in the hubbub of May, all 5 of my kids being home for a few days (so grateful and rare these days as they grow up), and wrapping up the Refuge semester. However, I am ready to go for it! 6 posts …

the way toward something new

8 ways men can advocate for women’s equality.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, friendship, incarnational, leadership, the refuge 15 Comments

Yesterday I had the privilege of sharing on a panel alongside 4 other female pastors & leaders in a room filled with about 25 male pastors & leaders in Denver. Most everyone had evangelical roots, and while some pastored churches others were leading nonprofits and various ministries in town. There was only one purpose: to listen to what it was like to be a woman in ministry.  We had told our stories several months before in a similar forum, but last time the number of women …