father’s day angst.

kathyescobar healing, relationships 1 Comment

It’s here tomorrow, yet another holiday that is great for all kinds of people and really hard for many others. I have written about all the major ones at this point–Christmas, Mother’s Day, Easter, and Father’s Day, too. But here we are again. Father’s Day always seems to seek up on us, and I didn’t want this day to go by without taking a pause and remembering that this day can create a lot of angst for people for all kinds of different reasons. But before I do …

5 things for 50.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, identity, the refuge 13 Comments

I turned 50 on Mother’s Day. 5-0. Half a century. 5 decades. For all you young people reading, you’re like 50 is o-l-d. For all you 50’s and up reading, you’re like “quit complaining.” I’m not complaining, really. It’s just a weird feeling and the 40’s did feel younger! Jose and my friends threw me an amazing dance party at The Refuge, and it truly was the best way to ring in a new decade. I haven’t had much time or head space to write, as …

there are lots of ways to mother (and the world sure needs it right now)

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, healing, incarnational, leadership, mommydom, women in ministry 0 Comments

It’s Mother’s Day in the USA today, the time where a bunch of women feel special and extra-loved, and another group of women often don’t. Like so many other holidays, many who feel great about it  sometimes forget that there are others who are aching. Church is extra sucky if they make all the mothers stand up and get a flower and you’re the one still sitting. In divorced families, the reality of what’s been lost creeps up.  Others have lost their mothers or significant women in …

the mother’s day ache.

kathyescobar healing, mommydom 0 Comments

Mother’s Day is this Sunday. This year it also falls on my 50th birthday, which is kind of wild because I was also born on Mother’s Day. This upcoming Sunday is a happy day for a lot of women. Breakfast in bed, no chores, flowers, handmade cards. I never want to dismiss the awesomeness of mothers and that they get a day of extra-special love for all their hard work day in and day out. For me, with 5 kids,  I always get some more-than-usual-sweetness and …

we need mothers & fathers & daughters & sons & sisters & brothers.

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, healing, identity, incarnational, relationships, spiritual formation 2 Comments

I’m on a bit of a power-of-community roll right now, revisiting some old posts that have been rattling around in my head.  To me, the purpose of community, “the church”, is to have a place, whatever that looks like, to learn to love God & others and to be loved by God & others. Like so many other things that matter in the kingdom of God, it doesn’t magically drop out of the sky. It comes through hard work invested in relationship–with God, with others, with ourselves. Over the …

holy week 2017: realities of life’s 3 day weekend

kathyescobar advent & lent, faith shifts, healing 0 Comments

Today is Good Friday and in a little bit I’m heading over to The Refuge for our contemplative Stations of the Cross, Refuge-style. This is an important day that wasn’t a big part of my Christian experience until a chunk of years ago. I was part of churches that, on the whole, focused all their energy on Easter services and doing whatever they possibly could to get more people in the doors that day; they consistently skipped over Good Friday and Holy Saturday completely. I love …

jezebel, eve, and the baggage we keep carrying.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, faith and politics, friendship, healing, injustice 11 Comments

I was out of the country in Peru last week on a fun spring break adventure with our twins, and when I got back and turned on my computer I saw a flurry of posts related to Vice President Mike Pence’s application of the “Billy Graham Rule.” Never being alone with a woman other than his wife. No lunch, no dinner, no coffee. No nothing alone. Ever. I saw comments on Facebook that were all over the place. Ones that praised his “wisdom” and ones that …

WTF, God?

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, incarnational 6 Comments

One of my greatest joys is to journey alongside people in their honest relationship with God.  I have yet to encounter someone in spiritual direction who was saying things like “I am feeling so great spiritually!” “I’ve never been this connected to God.” or “I am completely filled up.”  Usually, our conversations are wrestling with disconnection, fear, anger, mistrust, separation, and honestly a lot of questions that start with WTF, God? I understand that a lot of people might be offended by that. Can we really …