when Christmas is hard…

kathyescobar advent & lent, healing, incarnational 4 Comments

Blogging has been on the back-burner for me in this past season, and I miss you guys! I just haven’t been in the right head space to write, and honestly, waking up to hearing the realities of another mass shooting, this one at a disability center, just makes me so sick and all words fall flat.  Eventually, some of the things I’ve been processing in my head and heart over the past few months will tumble out here, but before too much time goes by in …

embracing the rhythm of life’s friday-saturday-sundays.

kathyescobar advent & lent, healing 3 Comments

Today is Holy Saturday, the day between the death of Jesus and the resurrection. It’s the day that most of us want to skip over, the part that so rarely gets acknowledged, especially on a day of easter egg hunts and shining blue skies. I originally posted this 7 years ago (crazy how fast time flies honestly, it seems like yesterday and hard to believe we are celebrating The Refuge’s 9th Easter together). Last night after our small-but-so-sacred Good Friday gathering, a friend messaged me and …

depression, a natural part of grief

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 2 Comments

in his book a grief observed CS lewis says this about grief: “no one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. i am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. the same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. i keep on swallowing. at other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. there is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. i find it hard to take in what anyone says. or perhaps, hard to …

bargaining: the what if’s and if only’s

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 12 Comments

we’re on day 3 of grief week and i have appreciated the comments & emails & thoughts that this has stirred up in different ways.  if you are just joining us, we started with denial.  then yesterday was a look into anger.  today, we move into the third stage that is part of any grieving process-bargaining. this is the stage–and one we often come back to in our healing (remember grief is not linear)–where we look back with regret and wonder: what if i had… if …

grief week: it starts with denial

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 17 Comments

well, exactly a year ago i said i was going to do a one week series called “grief week”, centered on the 5 stages of grief that can be part of church and life losses alike. then a friend from the refuge died suddenly in a tragic accident and i decided to start my summer blog-break early.  it’s been quite a year since then. the refuge moved into our new home (it’s been amazing, exactly what we had hoped and are in the process of raising …

loss.

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, spiritual formation 4 Comments

  “every time there are losses there are choices to make. you choose to live your losses as passages to anger, blame, hatred, depression, and resentment, or you choose to let these losses be passages to something new, something wider, something deeper…”  – henri nouwen * * * * * i came across this nouwen passage this past week & it touched my heart in a good and deep way, and i thought in light of the last 3 church refugee videos that i would focus …