a lot happens in the wilderness

out in the desert.

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, identity 12 Comments

One of the things I sometimes hear about people who unravel their faith and end up on the outside of all they once knew is that they are being “rebellious, hard-hearted, self-centered, or mislead.” It’s an interesting observation because usually it comes from people who are feeling halfway decent about God, the Bible, and their faith. They are on the inside looking out, assuming far beyond what meets the eye. Unraveling, while messy and painful and confusing, is often one of the most sincere and faithful experiences …

gods got us

God’s got us.

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 13 Comments

A chunk of months ago I had the most amazing conversation with a reader of Faith Shift about the fear involved in Unraveling once tightly held beliefs. It’s a long story, but there was a beautiful sincerity in her words that I know she isn’t alone in. What if, at the end of the day, we go too far in this whole faith shifting thing? What if there’s some elusive line that we cross over in our transformation that means that God’s done with us completely? …

the best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better

“um, well, it depends on what you mean by ‘Christian'”

kathyescobar crazy making, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, incarnational 9 Comments

In the earlier days of my faith, knowing who was and wasn’t a “Christian” was a big deal to me. There was something attached to it that was comforting, familiar, certain. When I look back on those years, “Is he/she a Christian?” would come up in countless ways–related to teachers, doctors, family members, auto mechanics, friends, you name it. Now, if I hear it, I often feel myself tense up and my skin get a little itchy. I feel weird about my reflexive response because I …

listen love learn

important words from parents of LGBQT kids: what hurts, what helps

kathyescobar equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational, injustice, what it's like 6 Comments

I had the privilege of spending a few days with an online support group for moms of LGBQT kids of all ages. What a gift! These are amazing women of hope and courage. As we all know, many strains of Christianity have not been kind to these kids and parents. The judgment, the ostracizing, the scripturizing has been extremely painful and has catalyzed many of them to experience painful (and freeing!) faith shifts. I loved listening to how people are finding their way, and a lot …

henri nouwen show not tell

Christian show or tell?

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational 16 Comments

I recently had a brief and good but challenging conversation with a friend about Christian belief. It wasn’t a long drawn out one, but as they were explaining the ins and outs of why a particular belief was important, I could feel my body tense up and my heart shut down. The only thing I could think of was “I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to …

but God says

“but God says…”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, fundamentalism 24 Comments

People who know me well know I have some very clear pet peeves. Some are related to people gulping when they eat (ask my husband) or kids not answering their phone or texting back when we are supposed to meet somewhere (yes, I’m guilty of it, too), and a host of other insignificant things that annoy me. When it comes to faith stuff, I’ve got a few pet peeves, too, things that a lot of people say that drive me crazy. But some of these have a …

preview REBUILDING PEN

rebuilding: finding life again.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, spiritual formation 4 Comments

For the past 7 years now I have been writing about my own struggles with faith and doubt and church and have met so many awesome, sincere, wise, brave men and women who are wrestling with these same things, too.  It seems like one thing that really helps is to have some way to share the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful parts of Unraveling. Over the years I was also really frustrated that even though a whole bunch of material was and has …

preview SEVERING PEN

severing: some do, some don’t.

kathyescobar faith shifts 11 Comments

Oh, how I want to spend the next month just unpacking Unraveling, but the truth is that is what the book is for! There are also all kinds of blog posts I’ve written here about deconstruction and unraveling over the years, starting in 2008.  The purpose of this series wasn’t to flesh these out, but to provide a way to share the widest, broadest strokes of Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart in one place. So far, we’ve touched on the …