listen love learn

important words from parents of LGBQT kids: what hurts, what helps

kathyescobar equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational, injustice, what it's like 6 Comments

I had the privilege of spending a few days with an online support group for moms of LGBQT kids of all ages. What a gift! These are amazing women of hope and courage. As we all know, many strains of Christianity have not been kind to these kids and parents. The judgment, the ostracizing, the scripturizing has been extremely painful and has catalyzed many of them to experience painful (and freeing!) faith shifts. I loved listening to how people are finding their way, and a lot …

henri nouwen show not tell

Christian show or tell?

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational 16 Comments

I recently had a brief and good but challenging conversation with a friend about Christian belief. It wasn’t a long drawn out one, but as they were explaining the ins and outs of why a particular belief was important, I could feel my body tense up and my heart shut down. The only thing I could think of was “I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to …

but God says

“but God says…”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, fundamentalism 23 Comments

People who know me well know I have some very clear pet peeves. Some are related to people gulping when they eat (ask my husband) or kids not answering their phone or texting back when we are supposed to meet somewhere (yes, I’m guilty of it, too), and a host of other insignificant things that annoy me. When it comes to faith stuff, I’ve got a few pet peeves, too, things that a lot of people say that drive me crazy. But some of these have a …


rebuilding: finding life again.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, spiritual formation 4 Comments

For the past 7 years now I have been writing about my own struggles with faith and doubt and church and have met so many awesome, sincere, wise, brave men and women who are wrestling with these same things, too.  It seems like one thing that really helps is to have some way to share the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful parts of Unraveling. Over the years I was also really frustrated that even though a whole bunch of material was and has …


severing: some do, some don’t.

kathyescobar faith shifts 11 Comments

Oh, how I want to spend the next month just unpacking Unraveling, but the truth is that is what the book is for! There are also all kinds of blog posts I’ve written here about deconstruction and unraveling over the years, starting in 2008.  The purpose of this series wasn’t to flesh these out, but to provide a way to share the widest, broadest strokes of Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart in one place. So far, we’ve touched on the …


unraveling: it’s a lot to lose.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts 16 Comments

For the past 3 days, I’ve touched on Fusing, Shifting, and Returning as some of the movements of a lot of our faith experiences. Whew! There’s no question, I am definitely a once, maybe twice a week max blogger. But since I’m taking the summer off in a few days I really wanted to get this series up (and a few other thoughts this week, too) before I am off until September 1st. Even though I appreciate the first 3 movements in the material and know …


returning: playing it safe.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts 6 Comments

So far we’ve touched on Fusing and Shifting from Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart as part of this 6-post series. These posts are only a small peek into what’s in the actual material. If you haven’t read it yet and are drawn into the content, there’s so much more in there to help engage and process in different ways. I think most every person shifts in their faith over time. It might not be overt; the questions might not be asked …

fusing - test copy

fusing: the 10 commandments.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, healing 20 Comments

Well, like so many other areas of my life, sometimes when I make plans, they fall apart. I had wanted to work on this series a few weeks ago as I prepare to take a summer blog break, but just never got to it in the hubbub of May, all 5 of my kids being home for a few days (so grateful and rare these days as they grow up), and wrapping up the Refuge semester. However, I am ready to go for it! 6 posts …