fusing the power of certainty conformity and affiliation

fusing: the 10 commandments.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, healing 7 Comments

Well, like so many other areas of my life, sometimes when I make plans, they fall apart. I had wanted to work on this series a few weeks ago as I prepare to take a summer blog break, but just never got to it in the hubbub of May, all 5 of my kids being home for a few days (so grateful and rare these days as they grow up), and wrapping up the Refuge semester. However, I am ready to go for it! 6 posts …

anger

underneath anger.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing, mommydom, relationships, synchroblog 11 Comments

This month’s Synchroblog is centered on Anger. Here’s the description: “Anger sometimes has a bad reputation. Some of us have been taught that anger is a negative emotion, something that should be squeezed out, prayed through, avoided.  Others of us have been raised in families and churches that never allowed for expression of anger so we have no concept of what “healthy anger” even means.  What do we think God thinks of our anger? What do we think of it?  What are you learning about it? …

goddamage

Goddamage.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, identity, incarnational 13 Comments

The other day I made up a new word without even knowing it. I was hanging out with some of my favorite people in Denver at our spiritual formation-support-group-hanging-with-people-who-understand-how-hard-this-work-in-the-trenches-is, casually talking about the fall-out of controlling ministry practices. In response to one of the comments, I said, “The truth is that just perpetuates God damage.” I guess I said it kind of quickly and so it came out “Goddamage.” Goddamage. Say it fast. Dammit it, I am so sick of Goddamage! Seriously. There are many people …

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unloading church baggage & moving forward.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing 9 Comments

In 2011, we hosted a live event at The Refuge called Walking Wounded: Hope for Those Hurt By Church. It was a great gathering of about 50 people, some from Denver, some from out of state–a place to laugh and grieve and gather some hope for the fallout of church and ministry pain. The next year, my friend Phyllis Mathis and I created a four week online course for people to access a more intentional space to walk through some of the big stuff that keeps …

what are you for

what we’re for.

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, equality, faith shifts, healing, the refuge 11 Comments

There’s a new church plant in my neighborhood at our local school. They moved here with a whole bunch of people from another state, started two services out of the chute, have mailed us multiple big expensive postcards, put up flags and signs lining the street, and even have parking attendants in bright orange jackets ready to guide you into your parking spot . I have seen them every Sunday morning because that’s a time I usually for sure take a walk. I told Jose the …

Runaway Radical Cover in High Resolution

runaway radical.

kathyescobar faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, injustice 2 Comments

One of the things I have loved the most about blogging is the amazing people I have met along the way. So many hard and beautiful stories are floating around out here with the same themes in them: Some kind of deep dedication to God and church, pain and struggle related to that journey, and the crazy path to find life and freedom in new ways. The hardest part for me about these stories is the anger that I can feel inside related to unhealthy systems. …

brennan manning beautiful transparency

holy week for the not-feeling-so-holy.

kathyescobar advent & lent, faith shifts 3 Comments

It’s Holy Week, and I am guessing you are all over the place on this one. Some of you love it and are enjoying the different services and sacred spaces to honor the week. Others are wrestling with how to engage with Easter and all that’s wrapped up in it after a radical faith shift and feeling lonely and disconnected. And if you’re like me this year, you’re somewhere in between–a bit tired and just trying to stay in as best you can. I like this …

image of bingo game

church bingo: before & after our faith unravels

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, faith shifts, just because i thought it was fun 6 Comments

I got a funny email from a friend a while back about checking out a new church after a radical faith shift.  It’s always so brave to explore new possibilities and take the plunge and see what’s out there. The part that made me laugh the most was when he said he felt guilty for liking the coffee bar!  Oh, the joys of our church baggage. It made me think of the things that used to matter to some of us when it comes to church …