ex-good-christian-women

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, identity 105 Comments

i used to be a really good christian woman.  like one of the best.  i said the right things, did the right things, played nice.   the only problem was that what was on the outside & what was on the inside were two different things. i believe evangelical christianity has created a lot of divided women. women who are cut off from their desires.  who are pulling it together on the outside but crumbling on the inside.  who are constantly feeling like losers, always missing …

on becoming less divided.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, fundamentalism, healing, identity 53 Comments

“in an effort to not be a divisive woman, i became a divided woman” – pam hogeweide, at the unladylike: resisting the injustice of inequality in the church event at the refuge this past friday night. * * * * * in an effort to not be a divisive woman, i became a divided woman. oh these words resonate.  so many of us (men and women) have struggled in the church with not wanting to be divisive.  there’s been a subtle and sometimes very direct message that …

well-behaved women won’t change the church

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership 25 Comments

* most all of you have already read this post. it was part of ed cyzewski’s women in ministry series and got a lot of love.  there are some really great comments over there.  i had so much fun writing it and had no idea it would strike such a chord.  it’s so encouraging!  i am just posting it here now for my blog archives.  here’s to all kinds of mis-behaving… * * * * * Years ago, if you looked up the definition of “Christian …

well-behaved women won’t change the church

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, women in ministry 11 Comments

today i have a post up at ed cyzewski’s blog as part of his women in ministry series.  it’s called well-behaved women won’t change the church.  it was so fun to write this one! here’s a little excerpt: Well-behaved women won’t change the church. We just won’t. Well-behaved women will keep the wheels spinning on systems that keep working, keep growing, keep moving. We will do good and honorable work that matters and helps people and makes a difference in our communities. But we won’t change …

you is smart. you is kind. you is important.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, identity, incarnational, spiritual formation 19 Comments

yesterday was oscar night; i was traveling so didn’t get to enjoy the party but always play my part in seeing as many of the movies as i can.  so many of you have probably read the help or at least seen the movie.  a friend reminded me of one of my favorite lines from it this week, the words of the black nanny telling the little girl she cared for:  “you is smart. you is kind.  you is important.”  sadly, this little girl also received …

yep, i guess i’m a heretic

kathyescobar ex good christian women, fundamentalism, healing, identity, the carnival in my head 80 Comments

heretic [her-i-tik] 1. a professed believer who maintains religious opinions contrary to those accepted by his or her church or rejects doctrines prescribed by that church. 2. anyone who doesn’t conform to an established attitude, doctrine, or principle.   synonyms: apostate, backslider, recreant, dissenter, skeptic, freethinker. (those made me laugh!) my post up at rachel held evans’ blog last week–insecure christians–got some great comments, both positive ones & negative ones.  the negative ones tended to come from the perspective that by me saying there is something good …

insecure christians

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, fundamentalism, healing, identity 4 Comments

this was a guest post i wrote for rachel held evans‘ blog last week (see, i do know how to use capital letters!).  i wanted to re-post it here so i had in my archives; plus, some of you may not have seen it or wanted to comment over there because there were loads of them.  anyway, i’d love any thoughts you wanted to add to it. * * * * * I had an amazing conversation last week with a non-Christian counseling grad student who …

you can’t have courage without fear.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, relationships, spiritual formation 10 Comments

i am glad some of you had fun with the loving God different ways exercise.  this past saturday night at the refuge we did part 2 and split into 10 different groups & spent the evening processing these questions:  1. what individual practices help you connect with God as a naturalist, contemplative, caregiver, etc. 2. what practices would you like to see us bring into our community life together? 3. what are some ways we could share communion together in a way that’s honoring to your …