leaving church to save our souls

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, incarnational 47 Comments

goodness gracious, people get riled up over conversations about “church.”  i wish we could get as much traction on justice & poverty issues!  it’s fascinating, really, how passionate many are about this topic, especially when someone threatens the church in any way.  i didn’t read all of donald miller’s post last week about why he doesn’t “go to church” much anymore (language that drives me nuts) but it sure did stir up a lot of discussion from all different angles. the one post i did read …

equality is a bumpy road (and sometimes it makes me want to stand on tables & scream)

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, friendship, injustice, leadership, rants, the refuge, women in ministry 29 Comments

i am coming upon my 10 year anniversary in full-time vocational ministry. january 1st of 2004 i went on a big church staff as the associate care pastor; the following year i became the adult ministry pastor, and then the year after that i lost my job after a big ugly bru-haha related to power & politics & inequality that would make your stomach turn.  since then, i have been co-pastoring our wild and beautiful little faith community, the refuge, alongside my friends & brothers & …

breastfeeding hurts & other things we need to be more honest about.

kathyescobar crazy making, ex good christian women, healing, identity, just because i thought it was fun 57 Comments

* i wrote this post in march and never got around to posting it (i do that a lot).  it was after a conversation with an awesome mommy & ministry leader who told me how hard it was to juggle being a mom and leading at the same time.   in her mind, she kept falling short.  in my mind, like so many others of us, we just haven’t had enough safe spaces for reality.   * * * * * anyone who tells a new …

ex-good-christian-women

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, identity 101 Comments

i used to be a really good christian woman.  like one of the best.  i said the right things, did the right things, played nice.   the only problem was that what was on the outside & what was on the inside were two different things. i believe evangelical christianity has created a lot of divided women. women who are cut off from their desires.  who are pulling it together on the outside but crumbling on the inside.  who are constantly feeling like losers, always missing …

on becoming less divided.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, fundamentalism, healing, identity 53 Comments

“in an effort to not be a divisive woman, i became a divided woman” – pam hogeweide, at the unladylike: resisting the injustice of inequality in the church event at the refuge this past friday night. * * * * * in an effort to not be a divisive woman, i became a divided woman. oh these words resonate.  so many of us (men and women) have struggled in the church with not wanting to be divisive.  there’s been a subtle and sometimes very direct message that …

well-behaved women won’t change the church

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership 25 Comments

* most all of you have already read this post. it was part of ed cyzewski’s women in ministry series and got a lot of love.  there are some really great comments over there.  i had so much fun writing it and had no idea it would strike such a chord.  it’s so encouraging!  i am just posting it here now for my blog archives.  here’s to all kinds of mis-behaving… * * * * * Years ago, if you looked up the definition of “Christian …

well-behaved women won’t change the church

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, women in ministry 11 Comments

today i have a post up at ed cyzewski’s blog as part of his women in ministry series.  it’s called well-behaved women won’t change the church.  it was so fun to write this one! here’s a little excerpt: Well-behaved women won’t change the church. We just won’t. Well-behaved women will keep the wheels spinning on systems that keep working, keep growing, keep moving. We will do good and honorable work that matters and helps people and makes a difference in our communities. But we won’t change …

you is smart. you is kind. you is important.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, identity, incarnational, spiritual formation 19 Comments

yesterday was oscar night; i was traveling so didn’t get to enjoy the party but always play my part in seeing as many of the movies as i can.  so many of you have probably read the help or at least seen the movie.  a friend reminded me of one of my favorite lines from it this week, the words of the black nanny telling the little girl she cared for:  “you is smart. you is kind.  you is important.”  sadly, this little girl also received …