kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, identity, incarnational 1 Comment

lib·er·ate libəˌrāt/ (verb) set (someone) free from a situation, especially imprisonment or slavery, in which their liberty is severely restricted set free, free, release, let out, let go, set/let loose, save, rescue * * * * * I’ve been in a lot of faith shifting conversations these past few weeks; they happen a lot but sometimes there are just more of them close together and I am reminded how many people are displaced not only from “church” but also from the security and certainty of their …

the kids are alright

the kids are alright.

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, faith shifts, mommydom 13 Comments

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, your Newsfeed has been clogged with pictures of my daughter’s college graduation. Oh, what a beautiful weekend we had in New York City celebrating with family and friends. We are so proud of her! After four years in the Bronx, she is now moving on to dental school in the fall. We have now officially graduated two kids from college and have three more to go! Moments like these always cause me to look back and reflect, to consider …

speak love say something

say something.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I don’t want them to ___________ (you fill in the blank). These are just a short list of things that often rattle around in our head about speaking up when we notice …

leaving church to save our souls

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, incarnational 49 Comments

goodness gracious, people get riled up over conversations about “church.”  i wish we could get as much traction on justice & poverty issues!  it’s fascinating, really, how passionate many are about this topic, especially when someone threatens the church in any way.  i didn’t read all of donald miller’s post last week about why he doesn’t “go to church” much anymore (language that drives me nuts) but it sure did stir up a lot of discussion from all different angles. the one post i did read …

equality is a bumpy road (and sometimes it makes me want to stand on tables & scream)

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, friendship, injustice, leadership, rants, the refuge, women in ministry 29 Comments

i am coming upon my 10 year anniversary in full-time vocational ministry. january 1st of 2004 i went on a big church staff as the associate care pastor; the following year i became the adult ministry pastor, and then the year after that i lost my job after a big ugly bru-haha related to power & politics & inequality that would make your stomach turn.  since then, i have been co-pastoring our wild and beautiful little faith community, the refuge, alongside my friends & brothers & …

breastfeeding hurts & other things we need to be more honest about.

kathyescobar crazy making, ex good christian women, healing, identity, just because i thought it was fun 57 Comments

* i wrote this post in march and never got around to posting it (i do that a lot).  it was after a conversation with an awesome mommy & ministry leader who told me how hard it was to juggle being a mom and leading at the same time.   in her mind, she kept falling short.  in my mind, like so many others of us, we just haven’t had enough safe spaces for reality.   * * * * * anyone who tells a new …


kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, identity 104 Comments

i used to be a really good christian woman.  like one of the best.  i said the right things, did the right things, played nice.   the only problem was that what was on the outside & what was on the inside were two different things. i believe evangelical christianity has created a lot of divided women. women who are cut off from their desires.  who are pulling it together on the outside but crumbling on the inside.  who are constantly feeling like losers, always missing …

on becoming less divided.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, fundamentalism, healing, identity 53 Comments

“in an effort to not be a divisive woman, i became a divided woman” – pam hogeweide, at the unladylike: resisting the injustice of inequality in the church event at the refuge this past friday night. * * * * * in an effort to not be a divisive woman, i became a divided woman. oh these words resonate.  so many of us (men and women) have struggled in the church with not wanting to be divisive.  there’s been a subtle and sometimes very direct message that …