im not like those people

“i’m not like those people”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, incarnational, rants 11 Comments

I love what “but God says…” stirred up! Here’s the second installment of three phrases that really bug me for all kinds of reasons beyond just nitpicking-ness. Years ago when I first started in healing ministry, one of the biggest obstacles I encountered wasn’t within the groups I was in or led. Those were easy; sure, the amount of pain and honesty and struggle in the room was hard but the people in them were so beautiful and brave that it far outweighed it. The push …


unraveling: it’s a lot to lose.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts 16 Comments

For the past 3 days, I’ve touched on Fusing, Shifting, and Returning as some of the movements of a lot of our faith experiences. Whew! There’s no question, I am definitely a once, maybe twice a week max blogger. But since I’m taking the summer off in a few days I really wanted to get this series up (and a few other thoughts this week, too) before I am off until September 1st. Even though I appreciate the first 3 movements in the material and know …


returning: playing it safe.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts 6 Comments

So far we’ve touched on Fusing and Shifting from Faith Shift: Finding Your Way Forward When Everything You Believe is Coming Apart as part of this 6-post series. These posts are only a small peek into what’s in the actual material. If you haven’t read it yet and are drawn into the content, there’s so much more in there to help engage and process in different ways. I think most every person shifts in their faith over time. It might not be overt; the questions might not be asked …


shifting: when things get rumbly

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts 8 Comments

This post is part of a short 6-post series from Faith Shift, a small taste of some of the major movements in the book–Fusing, Shifting, Returning, Unraveling, Severing, Rebuilding. This is how you know you might be in a middle of a faith shift.  Yesterday, we touched on Fusing and some of the rules of that stage in our journey. These first 3 (Fusing, Shifting, and Returning) are part of the first section to lay the foundation to where so many of us are living right now–Unraveling, …

how glorious a human heart

grace jealousy.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, faith shifts, healing, identity 19 Comments

I started writing this post over three years ago but never got very far. However, this thought has come back to me a lot over the past several weeks I thought I’d finish this half-baked thought. Plus, today’s my birthday and I have been a bit nostalgic, thinking of the things I wish I had learned earlier, the things I’m so grateful I’m learning now, the things I am willing to stand on tables for, and the things that I just don’t have the energy for …

church cannibalism

church cannibalism.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making 10 Comments

I’m going to be blogging a little bit more than usual over the next few weeks because this summer I’ll be taking a break here and I want to get out some of the things that have been swirling around in my head before then. If you get sick of hearing from me now, you can always come back in the summer when there’s nothing new here and read some of these posts then, ha ha. This will be short and sweet, well, not so sweet. …

what are you for

what we’re for.

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, equality, faith shifts, healing, the refuge 11 Comments

There’s a new church plant in my neighborhood at our local school. They moved here with a whole bunch of people from another state, started two services out of the chute, have mailed us multiple big expensive postcards, put up flags and signs lining the street, and even have parking attendants in bright orange jackets ready to guide you into your parking spot . I have seen them every Sunday morning because that’s a time I usually for sure take a walk. I told Jose the …

a thing or two about narcissism (+ church).

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, injustice, rants, relationships 61 Comments

For a lot of years now I have been journeying with a lot of women who have been in marriages or relationships with narcissists. I’m not talking about plain old self-absorbedness, of which we all have a touch of in different ways. I’m talking about something far more insidious and confusing, too–people with true blue Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or just-plain-real-and-deep narcissism that makes people around them feel crazy, unempowered, abused, and emotionally stripped. Several years ago The Refuge hosted a gathering for women who had …