outsiders.

kathyescobar advent & lent, church stuff, down we go, ex good christian women, faith shifts, jesus is cool 32 Comments

One of the things that has been the hardest about shifting faith is moving from being an “insider” to an “outsider.” I have always been one of those people who looks like an insider, like someone who fits in. The truth is that underneath a lot of that has been a prevailing feeling that somehow, I just really don’t. The more I’ve talked to people of the years, the more clear I am that we can be lonely in a group or as part of the …

when christmas is hard.

kathyescobar advent & lent, faith shifts, healing 15 Comments

Oh, this time of year! Some people love it, some people hate it.  There are so many things tied to the time from Thanksgiving to not just Christmas but also the start of a new year.  It brings to light the reality of losses, financial pressures, broken relationships, shame, family brokenness or non-existedness, faith shifts, depression, and dreams that keep on not coming true. You name it–this season stirs it up. I wrote a series a few years ago called “When Christmas is Hard” and thought …

when christmas is hard: honoring paradox

kathyescobar advent & lent, healing, spiritual formation 8 Comments

well, so much choosing for “help, thanks, wow” for when christmas is hard.  sometimes things just shift and new ideas come.  that’s what i love about blogging; it is current.  this week, i got a completely new thought on how i wanted to wrap this series, mainly because it’s what seems to always help me the most when i’m really in a hard place–honoring paradox.  i’ve written a lot about paradox over the years–how two contradicting things can exist at the same time.  even though i’d …

when christmas is hard: “look toward the light”

kathyescobar advent & lent, healing, spiritual formation 12 Comments

“finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” – phiippians 4:8 i don’t know about you, but i’m in a fog.  friday’s tragedy coupled with so much going on here in real life plus the regular holiday craziness has felt bizarre. instead of trying to power through, i decided to accept the haze but keep trying to move forward one baby step at at a …

when christmas is hard: “help”

kathyescobar advent & lent, formation friday, healing, incarnational, spiritual formation 16 Comments

“o God, listen to my cry! hear my prayer! from the ends of the earth, i cry to you for help. when my heart is overwhelmed. lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge” – psalm 61:1-3, NLT sometimes when i write about how hard life is here at the refuge, i wonder if i’m exaggerating.  then i go through a week like this last one and remember how real it is.  seriously, so many people struggling in different ways, some related to the …

when christmas is hard.

kathyescobar advent & lent, healing, incarnational 15 Comments

i like christmas.  i am not crazy about the commercialism and try to avoid stores at all costs starting from thanksgiving on, but i do love the season.  i love the story of Jesus because of its upside-downness & the wild and wacky ways he entered into the world as God-in-the-flesh.  i love the intentional focus and celebrating each week of advent. at the same time, i deeply respect that it is a time of year where things start to go haywire for a lot of …

pain relief not pain removal

kathyescobar advent & lent, incarnational, jesus is cool, synchroblog 22 Comments

*this post is part of the christmas synchroblog centered on Jesus came: did you get what you expected?  i hope you all had a good christmas. ours was sweet & simple & really nice. i’ve been really unplugged all week and have enjoyed the quiet. * * * * * for advent, i wrote a post about hoping to be open: present, humble, vulnerable this christmas season.  when i look back on it now, just over a month later, it makes me laugh.  vulnerable is definitely …

3, well 4, christmas-y things

kathyescobar advent & lent, incarnational, spiritual formation, the refuge 7 Comments

well here we go, the last few days before christmas.  it was 67 degrees here in colorado yesterday & snowing today!  it has been a really wild & crazy refuge week with several of my most favorite events–serving dinner at joshua station, a beautiful transitional housing program in denver that we love, our 6th annual refuge single moms crazy christmas brunch (with a visit from mrs. claus, in rare form), & our annual refuge christmas dinner celebration together, carols & games & great food together.  a …