3.19.07 from xgcw….get over it

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, ex good christian women, fundamentalism, rants, the refuge 5 Comments

i had someone tell me last week that i needed to “get over it.” i need to get over my hurt and pain related to the white, suburban evangelical megachurch and move on. i read the words several times and wanted to scream and shout at the top of my lungs “don’t you think i want to, you idiot!” of course I want to get over it. do you think i want to waste any more time feeling the pain of this wound? of spending any …

2.27.07 from the refuge…The Carnival

kathyescobar crazy making, spiritual formation, the refuge 0 Comments

I am tired of the carnival in my head. I cannot take credit for this thought, my good friend John Nunez tossed it out there in a wacky conversation and the idea has lingered. I guess I latched on to it because it’s so….me. Most days there’s a carnival going on in my head. Let me help you get the picture. Imagine I’m leaving a simple conversation with some co-workers, and the next thing I know I’m whirling around on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, being tossed …

2.25.07 from xgcw….disapproval

kathyescobar ex good christian women 5 Comments

standing up against disapproval is one of the most difficult things to do when we are “good christian women.” disapproval from others somehow means that we are not doing a good enough job, we must be doing something “wrong”, and that rocking the boat in any way, shape, or form is somehow “bad.” it is interesting that for some confident people, it’s no big deal to let down others. they are able to have balance and clarity and see a situation for what it is. me, …

1.27.07 from xgcw….do you identify?

kathyescobar ex good christian women 6 Comments

note 7.25.08:  this is from a blog i started last year in 2007 for a group of “ex good christian women” friends.  it used to just be a private blog but when i started the carnival i shut it down & just put a few of the posts here. okay, let’s just be honest, sometimes “the church” has messed with our heads. i am not saying all churches, all christians, all religious systems are screwed up because that would be too drastic (although, scale through all …

12.5.06 from the refuge blog….Equality

kathyescobar church stuff, jesus is cool, the refuge, women in ministry 0 Comments

Christmas. Everyone responds to this time of year differently. For some, it’s a great season filled with food and family and happy memory-making. For others, it’s a time of dread. Money’s tight or nonexistent. The reminder of losses—of loved ones, jobs, relationships, faith– sets in. In the season where we’re supposed to feel joyful we sometimes feel loneliness, anxiety and fear instead. The “reason for the season” gets lost in the reality of life and we just try to bear down and make it to the …

11.7.06 from the refuge blog – Kind Beats Right

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, fundamentalism, jesus is cool, the refuge 0 Comments

The other day I was driving down the road in the lovely suburbs of Arvada and I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. An old van pulled into the lane in front of me. It took a minute for my eyes to focus on how weird it looked. Then I got a little closer and realized that huge posters of aborted fetuses were plastered on all sides of the van. They were graphic, horrific, and personally painful. Underneath the photographs were mean and disparaging …

9.20.06 from the refuge blog… Is there a Doctor in the Church?

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, the refuge 1 Comment

I am a broken person. I do things I don’t want to do, I struggle with things I think I should be “over” by now, I don’t love the people closest to me the way I long to, I am selfish. I had better be careful or I will self-destruct. I want to be a better lover of God & people. I want to live out what it means to be a child of God. Is there a Doctor in the church? Jesus made very clear …

8.9.06 from the refuge blog…My Love-Hate Thing with Community

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, healing, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 1 Comment

We’ve been spending the past few weeks talking about community at The Refuge. Everyone who knows me knows I love community. I love relationships. I love people connecting with God and each other. I love to see someone who thinks they are unlovable start to feel loved because I remember how much that meant to me a long time ago. But it’s not just a love thing. Please do not think I have some crazy idealistic view of community, thinking it’s a piece of cake to …