1.27.07 from xgcw….do you identify?

kathyescobar ex good christian women 6 Comments

note 7.25.08:  this is from a blog i started last year in 2007 for a group of “ex good christian women” friends.  it used to just be a private blog but when i started the carnival i shut it down & just put a few of the posts here. okay, let’s just be honest, sometimes “the church” has messed with our heads. i am not saying all churches, all christians, all religious systems are screwed up because that would be too drastic (although, scale through all …

12.5.06 from the refuge blog….Equality

kathyescobar church stuff, jesus is cool, the refuge, women in ministry 0 Comments

Christmas. Everyone responds to this time of year differently. For some, it’s a great season filled with food and family and happy memory-making. For others, it’s a time of dread. Money’s tight or nonexistent. The reminder of losses—of loved ones, jobs, relationships, faith– sets in. In the season where we’re supposed to feel joyful we sometimes feel loneliness, anxiety and fear instead. The “reason for the season” gets lost in the reality of life and we just try to bear down and make it to the …

11.7.06 from the refuge blog – Kind Beats Right

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, fundamentalism, jesus is cool, the refuge 0 Comments

The other day I was driving down the road in the lovely suburbs of Arvada and I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. An old van pulled into the lane in front of me. It took a minute for my eyes to focus on how weird it looked. Then I got a little closer and realized that huge posters of aborted fetuses were plastered on all sides of the van. They were graphic, horrific, and personally painful. Underneath the photographs were mean and disparaging …

9.20.06 from the refuge blog… Is there a Doctor in the Church?

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, the refuge 1 Comment

I am a broken person. I do things I don’t want to do, I struggle with things I think I should be “over” by now, I don’t love the people closest to me the way I long to, I am selfish. I had better be careful or I will self-destruct. I want to be a better lover of God & people. I want to live out what it means to be a child of God. Is there a Doctor in the church? Jesus made very clear …

8.9.06 from the refuge blog…My Love-Hate Thing with Community

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, healing, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 1 Comment

We’ve been spending the past few weeks talking about community at The Refuge. Everyone who knows me knows I love community. I love relationships. I love people connecting with God and each other. I love to see someone who thinks they are unlovable start to feel loved because I remember how much that meant to me a long time ago. But it’s not just a love thing. Please do not think I have some crazy idealistic view of community, thinking it’s a piece of cake to …

7.28.06 from the refuge blog…War Wounds

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 1 Comment

I have skin cancer. Don’t worry. It’s not serious, but I had to have this thing on my chest removed a few weeks ago. 8 stitches. It’s ugly and I’m stuck with it forever. The worst part is that it was kind of my fault because a weird combination of fear, denial & busyness led me to postpone taking care of it for over 2 years. I know, you are shaking your head. You see, I am really good at taking care of other people and …

7.23.06 from the refuge blog – "I Believe in You"

kathyescobar relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge, women in ministry 0 Comments

Last week, my best friend Elaine sent me a donation to help fund my role at The Refuge. Jotted at the bottom of the sheet she only wrote four words: “We believe in you.” I immediately started to cry. I’ve been crying a lot lately; the past 8 months have been some of my hardest. I have been so vulnerable, scared, straining to listen to God but struggling with the din of the Enemy’s voice that always tells me that I really don’t have what it …