when our deepest values get violated.

kathyescobar crazy making, down we go, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, injustice 1 Comment

Post-election I’ve been thinking a lot about Nonviolent Communication. I’m not the best at it but I try. It’s been incredibly helpful for me as a tool to notice how unhelpful jackal words are in building connection between people (and how much they’ve been used since November 9th and oh, I’ve said my fair share) and also how underneath all of my feelings are needs. For me, another way I describe needs are core values–values that guide and fuel and propel and compel me. That connect me …

hope, my favorite word.

kathyescobar advent & lent, church stuff, down we go, dreams, healing, incarnational, the refuge 2 Comments

If you know me in real life, you know my favorite word is Hope. Refuge friends tease me about it all of the time, and for good reason. I love the word and have written it on my share of rocks over the years. I know hope is dangerous.  It’s vulnerable.  It’s scary. But it is the fuel that keeps us going. No matter how dark it can get, a shred of hope, the tiniest of sparks, the smallest ember, can make a difference, sometimes between …

narcissism, power, and staying awake.

kathyescobar crazy making, injustice, leadership, rants 10 Comments

I hope you all made it through Thanksgiving okay. I know for many it was likely to be a rough ride, with the reality of family and friends’ who-voted-for-who. We avoided the topic in certain settings, overrun by all 5 kids home for 3 days and knowing it wouldn’t lead to anything productive. I’ll admit, I’ve been in a bit of a fog since November 8th and have bizarre out-of-the-blue moments where I look at my husband or kids while we’re driving and keep repeating, “Donald-freaking-Trump …

strap in, it’s going to be a long ride.

kathyescobar equality, incarnational, injustice 10 Comments

Now it’s been 2 weeks since USA election 2016 rocked our world. If you’re like me, you’re a bit inundated with the amount of articles and social media pieces centered on it. I’ve read reflections and ideas from all different perspectives and frankly, I am exhausted but can’t seem to not-read them. I can’t seem to check out. I can’t seem to totally unplug. I also think we’re not supposed to. In fact, that is what a lot of people are banking on–that we will check …

“making nice”: the call of the privileged

kathyescobar crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, injustice, leadership, rants 7 Comments

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension. It is the presence of justice.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. We’re 3 1/2 days out from one of the most traumatic elections in modern US history. It’s been brutal, folks. The pain, the grief, the shock, the reality. I was one of those people who believed it would be kind of close, that Donald Trump had indeed made huge inroads and tapped into the depths of American racism, nationalism, sexism, classism, and pretty much every other …

light, hope, dignity, justice, peace.

kathyescobar down we go, dreams, ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing, incarnational 1 Comment

Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces. ~ Rumi Tomorrow’s Election Day in the USA. Whoa, it’s been a brutal year. The division. The vitriol. The fracturing. The bombardment from every angle on social media. The influx of crazy “news” sources that people think are real. The memes. The comments. The friends and family members we can’t believe are voting this way or that. The fear. The anger. The trauma. The reality of our broken system. But here we are, flawed messy beautiful human …

lifeway, power, and the cost of telling the truth.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, ex good christian women, faith shifts, fundamentalism, injustice, leadership 9 Comments

In 2007, I co-authored a spiritual formation tool for evangelical women called Refresh. It was a pretty cool project for that long ago; the entire book was printed in full color, magazine-style, and centered on 10 stories of real women (most of who were friends) with journaling and reflection questions, small group discussion ideas, and different ways to engage with the topics. The stories weren’t the typical Bible study ones but included abuse, adultery, abortion, eating disorders, perfectionism, fear and anxiety, and more (the cover doesn’t …

liberation.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, identity, incarnational 1 Comment

lib·er·ate libəˌrāt/ (verb) set (someone) free from a situation, especially imprisonment or slavery, in which their liberty is severely restricted set free, free, release, let out, let go, set/let loose, save, rescue * * * * * I’ve been in a lot of faith shifting conversations these past few weeks; they happen a lot but sometimes there are just more of them close together and I am reminded how many people are displaced not only from “church” but also from the security and certainty of their …