lifted heads and straightened backs

lifting heads, straightening backs.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, healing, identity, women in ministry 13 Comments

Sometimes I get calls from women asking for help to get out of an abusive relationship. Skittish, scared, and filled with shame, they reach out and share their story. It’s so brave. Some are rich, some are poor. Some are educated, others have never graduated from high school. Some have kids while others don’t. Some have husbands, others never have. Some are leaders, others are followers. Some call Jesus their God, others lost their faith a long time ago. Their circumstances might be different but their …

the same minds that got us into the problem can’t get us out

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, injustice, women in ministry 7 Comments

One of the hardest things for me is when I see talented, amazing, gifted, educated, passionate, articulate, creative women who over the years have found that they have no place left in the church. They waited. They tried. They gave it their all. They showed up again and again and again and again. And in the end, the system just didn’t value them. Didn’t embrace their gifts. Didn’t ask them to be part of leadership beyond support and helping roles. Didn’t “get them.” Didn’t make room. …

women, men & church: what hurts, what helps

kathyescobar church stuff, co-pastoring, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 14 Comments

Two fridays ago The Refuge hosted our first “Beyond Seminary: Moving Theology into Practice” gathering. Our amazing friend and seminary professor Dr. Deborah Loyd facilitated and we were challenged, encouraged, inspired in all kinds of ways. There were 25 of us there, 21 women and 4 men. Yep. That was a little hard for me but probably tells the real story. Oh, we have to figure out how to get these conversations more balanced! Real, lasting change will happen when both genders are equally committed to learning and …

making friends with disapproval

kathyescobar blog, ex good christian women, women in ministry 1 Comment

thank you, those of you who took time to try the poll about capitalization here (sorry it didn’t work consistently) or sent me messages or comments. i really appreciate the feedback. bottom line: if i tally everything, nocaps wins but not by a ton. most people can go either way. i knew it would probably be split like this; however, i think that i’m supposed to experiment with a change and see what it feels like. i can always change my mind back. it is really good …

10 tangible ways we can work toward equality in the church.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, friendship, injustice, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

my dear friend & ministry partner recently attended a local leaders gathering and messaged me with a text that essentially said this:  “not one woman speaker, presenter, pray-er, anything-at-all-er. see, i am starting to notice it!”  i wrote him back, “yep, it’s real, and it sucks and thanks for noticing.” also this week i heard about this post by ed stetzer about his fear of being alone with a woman who wasn’t his wife;  it made me feel so sick and sad, to think how these commandments …

what if…

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, incarnational, leadership, the refuge, women in ministry 19 Comments

i was at a really lovely meeting a few weeks ago with a bunch of pastors, and it was wonderfully hopeful except for one thing–there were only three female pastors and a whole lot of white male ones, and not one person of color. even though i know this is reality, it still always startles me. then i heard about a new local church plant that intrigued me. i tried to be hopeful about what type of community it might be, and then i looked at …

healers, bridge-builders, and community cultivators

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, equality, faith shifts, incarnational, leadership, women in ministry 29 Comments

it was a great weekend at transform 2014 in san diego. it was lovely & inspiring hanging out with old friends & making some new ones, and on my middle-of-the-night-and-trying-to-stay-awake drive from san diego to LAX to catch a morning standby flight that ended up getting cancelled, i had a lot of time to reflect. and a weird thing happened as i was driving:  i started crying for the church.  no matter how mad i get at it, no matter how frustrated i am at the same-old-same-old …

rock boats, upset apple carts, ruffle feathers. it’s worth it.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, injustice, leadership, women in ministry 19 Comments

saturday was  international women’s day.  i wrote this post that morning but never got around to posting it so it’s going up today. i have written about it in the past–we just can’t stand by & the power of being wanted & belonging, and for a few consecutive years i shared why i am an advocate for women.  this year, though, after 4 different conversations in the past week all centered on the same topic, i decided to write something new because it’s on my heart in a …