on earth as it is in heaven

equality matters.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long way to go. Please know that when I write about women’s equality, I’m also not just talking about “church” (although I do believe we’re supposed to be the best reflection of …

speak love say something

say something.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I don’t want them to ___________ (you fill in the blank). These are just a short list of things that often rattle around in our head about speaking up when we notice …

lifted heads and straightened backs

lifting heads, straightening backs.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, healing, identity, women in ministry 13 Comments

Sometimes I get calls from women asking for help to get out of an abusive relationship. Skittish, scared, and filled with shame, they reach out and share their story. It’s so brave. Some are rich, some are poor. Some are educated, others have never graduated from high school. Some have kids while others don’t. Some have husbands, others never have. Some are leaders, others are followers. Some call Jesus their God, others lost their faith a long time ago. Their circumstances might be different but their …

the same minds that got us into the problem can’t get us out

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, injustice, women in ministry 7 Comments

One of the hardest things for me is when I see talented, amazing, gifted, educated, passionate, articulate, creative women who over the years have found that they have no place left in the church. They waited. They tried. They gave it their all. They showed up again and again and again and again. And in the end, the system just didn’t value them. Didn’t embrace their gifts. Didn’t ask them to be part of leadership beyond support and helping roles. Didn’t “get them.” Didn’t make room. …

women, men & church: what hurts, what helps

kathyescobar church stuff, co-pastoring, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 14 Comments

Two fridays ago The Refuge hosted our first “Beyond Seminary: Moving Theology into Practice” gathering. Our amazing friend and seminary professor Dr. Deborah Loyd facilitated and we were challenged, encouraged, inspired in all kinds of ways. There were 25 of us there, 21 women and 4 men. Yep. That was a little hard for me but probably tells the real story. Oh, we have to figure out how to get these conversations more balanced! Real, lasting change will happen when both genders are equally committed to learning and …

making friends with disapproval

kathyescobar blog, ex good christian women, women in ministry 1 Comment

thank you, those of you who took time to try the poll about capitalization here (sorry it didn’t work consistently) or sent me messages or comments. i really appreciate the feedback. bottom line: if i tally everything, nocaps wins but not by a ton. most people can go either way. i knew it would probably be split like this; however, i think that i’m supposed to experiment with a change and see what it feels like. i can always change my mind back. it is really good …

10 tangible ways we can work toward equality in the church.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, friendship, injustice, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

my dear friend & ministry partner recently attended a local leaders gathering and messaged me with a text that essentially said this:  “not one woman speaker, presenter, pray-er, anything-at-all-er. see, i am starting to notice it!”  i wrote him back, “yep, it’s real, and it sucks and thanks for noticing.” also this week i heard about this post by ed stetzer about his fear of being alone with a woman who wasn’t his wife;  it made me feel so sick and sad, to think how these commandments …

what if…

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, incarnational, leadership, the refuge, women in ministry 19 Comments

i was at a really lovely meeting a few weeks ago with a bunch of pastors, and it was wonderfully hopeful except for one thing–there were only three female pastors and a whole lot of white male ones, and not one person of color. even though i know this is reality, it still always startles me. then i heard about a new local church plant that intrigued me. i tried to be hopeful about what type of community it might be, and then i looked at …