from standing tall to on the floor: conversations on patriarchy.

kathyescobar crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 4 Comments

Years ago a friend from The Refuge hosted a Listening Party for Christian men to listen to a panel of women on our experiences as female leaders. It was a brave thing to pull together. We looked forward to having a space to share our experiences and be heard by our Christian brothers. The only problem was when we showed up, there were about 40 women in the room and 7 men. His efforts were incredibly sincere; the reality is that men just didn’t come. Listening …

5 reasons we need more women leading in the world.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, faith and politics, incarnational, women in ministry 3 Comments

“We are all meant to be mothers of God…for God is always needing to be born.” ~ Meister Eckhardt Last month we had our Blue Christmas gathering at The Refuge. A contemplative space, Refuge friends created different stations to engage with different aspects of a season that can be hard for so many in different ways. My favorite station was centered on images of Mary and Jesus in a wide variety of cultures. The reflection included the Christian mystic Meister Eckhardt’s words. Eckhardt (like other mystics), …

there are lots of ways to mother (and the world sure needs it right now)

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, healing, incarnational, leadership, mommydom, women in ministry Leave a Comment

It’s Mother’s Day in the USA today, the time where a bunch of women feel special and extra-loved, and another group of women often don’t. Like so many other holidays, many who feel great about it  sometimes forget that there are others who are aching. Church is extra sucky if they make all the mothers stand up and get a flower and you’re the one still sitting. In divorced families, the reality of what’s been lost creeps up.  Others have lost their mothers or significant women in …

rising together.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, injustice, women in ministry Leave a Comment

Today is International Women’s Day. You all know I am a passionate advocate for women and write about it all the time here. Our equality is all tied up together. Unless we’re all free, none of us are free, and it’s important to always remind ourselves that well behaved women won’t change the church (or history). Equality is a verb.  The boats need to be rocked, and the path forward means we will have to educate, advocate, agitate, and that usually always comes with a cost. Some of you …

my unsolicited advice

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, incarnational, injustice, leadership, women in ministry 2 Comments

For almost 9 years I’ve been writing my guts out about church and faith and life and all my dreams of what could be. Despite the vulnerability and what it’s cost me in certain circles, I’m inspired by the incredible people I’ve met over the years through this blog who are changing systems that need changing, who have moved the needle on equality and justice and greater-emotional-health in the churches and ministries and organizations they are part of. You keep me in! Yet, as much as I’ve …

equality matters.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long way to go. Please know that when I write about women’s equality, I’m also not just talking about “church” (although I do believe we’re supposed to be the best reflection of …

say something.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I don’t want them to ___________ (you fill in the blank). These are just a short list of things that often rattle around in our head about speaking up when we notice …

lifting heads, straightening backs.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, healing, identity, women in ministry 13 Comments

Sometimes I get calls from women asking for help to get out of an abusive relationship. Skittish, scared, and filled with shame, they reach out and share their story. It’s so brave. Some are rich, some are poor. Some are educated, others have never graduated from high school. Some have kids while others don’t. Some have husbands, others never have. Some are leaders, others are followers. Some call Jesus their God, others lost their faith a long time ago. Their circumstances might be different but their …