the refuge
pericardiums
yeah, that’s a big word usually associated with life science class & people in the hospital with heart troubles. if you don’t know what it is, it’s the sac around our heart that protects it. if a pericardium is too weak, it’s not good for our hearts because it makes it too vulnerable. if it’s too tough, it’s not good, either, because it chokes off life.
a few months ago my acupuncturist who is part-spiritual-director-part-therapist-part-healer told me i needed to strengthen my pericardium. she was right when it came to a particularly hard season in an important relationship. there are times that i give too much of myself, take things too personally and make everything about me, and just don’t have enough heart protection. at the same time, it’s also easy to swing the other way & harden and protect my heart against pain, suffering, and intimate relationship and hide behind “strong boundaries.” the reality is that there’s a very fine line when it comes to pericardiums; a healthy pericardium means we can feel pain & engage in the realities of real life but not have it completely devastate us.
i continue to learn what it means to develop a healthy pericardium as a pastor, mommy, wife, and friend. it’s an art, not science. it requires faith not formulas. it requires time & God’s grace & lots and lots of exercise and practice.
and the thing i keep learning is that a healthy pericardium does not protect us from pain. it’s not supposed to. it’s purpose is to give us enough protection to not let the pain overtake us & shut us down completely when it gets really, really tough.
this week, my heart hurts.
like really hurts.
while i was in nashville speaking at outlaw preachers, i got news that one of my dearest refuge friends, an amazing & brave & survivor-of-all-kinds-of-atrocities single mommy had died. i had broken one of my most basic speaking rules and had my phone with me on the podium because it had a quote on it i wanted to use and was too lazy to write it down. i saw the missed calls & knew, somewhere deep inside that i can only attribute to the holy spirit, that something terrible had happened. i knew who the calls were from. i knew who they loved and cared for at the refuge. i knew something had happened to jessie. i just knew. so when i split everyone up into small groups to process some of the material on safe people, safe communities from down we go i had to make a decision. do i wait until i wrap up my presentation in a neat & tidy bow and pretend like something bad didn’t happen, or do i listen to the message and open what somehow i knew was going to be a flood of pain? i knew i couldn’t wait & i listened to the message in the hallway.
it felt like my pericardium burst completely and my heart was going to stop.
i sobbed.
i felt like i couldn’t breathe.
people i didn’t know came up and held me.
i had lost a precious friend who i had journeyed in the trenches with for five solid years. through hospital visits & disasters & more drama than you can imagine. i wrote about her in the practice of love & down we go; her name in there is lydia, and she got into my heart & under my skin & into my bones. she was my daughter & sister & friend. she loved me fiercely, always had my back, and would kick the sh*t (literally) out of anyone who ever messed with me. she didn’t just give me her heart; i gave her mine, too.
conventional pastoral wisdom would have said that my pericardium was too weak when it came to jessie. that i let myself feel too much. to get too close. too care too deeply.
but they’re wrong. you see, i wasn’t in this relationship doing stuff “to” jessie or “for” jessie. we were in the thick of it together. she gave me as much as i gave her. she helped me as much as i helped her. she cared about me as much i cared about her. i learned as much from her as she learned from me.
and when we give our hearts this way, we get hurt.
it’s supposed to hurt.
when we’re real friends in a little pocket of love, it hurts worse.
when we’re real mothers & fathers & sisters & brothers & daughters & sons, it hurts worse.
it’s part of being connected to the body of Christ together, all tangled up in ways that far supersede showing up every week and sitting next to each other at church. it’s about living in a little pocket of love together and sharing each other’s burdens in ways that look crazy to people who don’t understand.
so today as i write this, my heart hurts in more ways than i can count. for me, for her precious son, for her friends & family & all the people who loved her in all her strengths & in all her weaknesses–the way she loved all of us, too.
however, even though my heart is in pain, i am so grateful, too. because if my heart had been hard–my pericardium too tough–i would never have experienced the love & joy & beauty & care & mercy & fun (along with the pain & sorrow & anger, too) that we shared in my wild and beautiful relationship with jessie.
damn, life together hurts.
it’s supposed to.
my pericardium is working right.
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there’s a difference between believing & “right belief”
one of the things i love the most about our little wild & crazy refuge community is we can hold the space for a lot of divergent views about the Bible & life & faith. it’s not an easy task, i must say, and sometimes i get asked “so, just what does the refuge believe about _______.” (it’s usually not issues that are on this list, though, they are usually questions far, far more specific.)
this is a typical question of most every church. and usually churches can answer it because there are a lot of clear-cut statements of faith or a creed or something floating around that somehow helps people “know” more clearly where everyone who identify themselves as part of it stands on particular beliefs.
i respect that these kinds of statements can be helpful to people. oh, they do make things easier! but i have trouble with them, too. people in our community have the freedom to believe lots of different things about God/Jesus/faith, and so i often respond “well, i am glad to tell you what i believe but i can’t speak for everyone else.”
you might be cringing when you hear that. what kind of leader are you, some might say? and i’d say “i’m a leader who’s trying to trust God with the technicalities & do my best to lead people to consider & wrestle with & tangibly live out what i believe are the fundamentals.”
Jesus didn’t seem too concerned with these kinds of “here’s exactly what you need to believe to follow me.” rather, he was calling people into a way of participating in the kingdom of God in the here and now, challenging us to embrace humility & spiritual poverty in a world bent on knowledge & pride, encouraging us to follow his way of sacrifice and lay down our lives for others, feed the hungry, visit the sick, love the unlovely, and take the much harder path of practicing love instead of theologizing about love. he also said this kind of faith was going to be much more difficult than knowledge.
we can passionately be believers, without getting caught up in the human-made trap of “right belief”. they are different things.
i believe wholeheartedly in the power & beauty & wisdom of the Bible and that there are many different interpretations of it that matter deeply.
one thing that has helped me immensely on my faith journey over the past chunk of years is discovering how many incredible, diverse, smart, and amazing people see the Bible very differently from each other but somehow are heading toward the same God. it’s been a mind & heart bender for sure, especially when i came from a pretty conservative faith persuasion for many years that seemed to throw “this is what the Bible for sure says” around a lot.
at this stage of my faith journey, i might not agree with some people’s interpretations of the Bible, but i deeply respect why and how they might see it a certain way. i also remain deeply committed to not trying to convince someone to believe “my way” and like to hold the tension of disagreement on the technicalities.
the need to convince each other to see it the way we see it is what divides and separates us, splits churches, and creates all sorts of pain & hurt in the world. as far as i can tell, Jesus never called us to do that. believing in him must look like something else. maybe it looks like trusting the first & greatest commandment and keeping it in our hearts and bringing it everywhere we go–to love God & others.
one of the things we are trying to hold on to in the refuge community is that we can disagree on Bible verses but that we must, at all costs, respect our differences and treat each other with love and kindness. to me, it’s a willingness to lay down “our way” and trust God to be God since we’re not. it’s a gorgeous but challenging thing to witness because somehow it forces us all to look beyond our interpretation of particular passages and center in on the most important thing–love. i can love my sisters and brothers who see the Bible differently, and i am so grateful that they love me even when they disagree with me, too.
i think that’s the task at hand for a more inclusive, diverse, and Jesus-centered church.
i don’t think people are supposed to water down their beliefs to adjust to others in either direction. the tricky part is learning to hold a space for all of us, in all our differences.
there’s no question, it takes a lot of grace, courage, steadfastness & finesse to truly put relationship above doctrine and respect the difference between believing & “right belief.”
and honestly, i think that’s what Jesus embodied.
it’s also a brutally difficult task in a world that clamors for uniformity & clarity on who’s in, who’s out, who believes this and who believes that, who thinks this is wrong and who thinks this is right. often, both the left and the right are just as passionate about these dividing lines.
i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately & it reminds me of how much easier it is to build a church than cultivate community. yeah, it’s easier to divide and separate based on Bible beliefs instead of learning to live together in the tension of seeing it differently but remaining united in love.
God, show us how to live in the beautiful, trusting tension of disagreeing on all kinds of things but agreeing on love & respect not just in theory or from afar, but up-close- and-personal in real community together.
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ps: i had already written this post when i saw this recycle your faith video this morning–it’s called the final apologetic. i don’t agree with every point in it but i think it fleshes some of this same thought out, too.
ppss: here’s a post i wrote this week for the refuge blog about walking wounded: hope for those hurt by church, a gathering we’re hosting october 21st & 22nd in denver–it’s called stopping for the wounded.
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a prayer for practice.
“practicing what we preach” is a lot easier said than done! like most everyone, i’d rather preach it than practice it. it’s fun to talk about community, to dream about community, to advocate for community. and to actually live it is a whole different story. i am very grateful to live in a community that challenges me in a place where everything i believe-in-the-depths-of-my-heart-when-it-comes-to-what-Jesus-meant-about-love-and-life-together intersects with my real life. i am always faced with a choice–will i see it through or run from it? trust me, “run, as fast you can!” often rattles through my head and i start fantasizing about ways to escape the messiness of it all. but then i feel this quiet, deep, and powerful pull to stay. to fight. to try. to practice. to show up. to love. to learn. listen. to humble myself. to be willing to let God work in the deeper thing that has nothing to do with what’s going on above the surface.
so that’s where i’m at this friday. thankful for the journey. tired that it is sometimes so hard. challenged to keep growing and learning and play my little part in the bigger story. hopeful that God never leaves me, never leaves us, and is always restoring and redeeming what is broken and showing us a better way.
this past wednesday at our house of refuge we wrapped up our summer journey through down we go: living into the wild ways of Jesus. the last chapter is called “born again and again and again” and it was what i needed to be reminded of this week. i want to be a person who is always being born again. and again. and again. this is the prayer that i read at the end of our group and sits at the end of the book, too. i cried when i read it because i needed the reminder of what i so deeply believe and why this downward journey is really worth it.
i thought i’d share it here, too, especially for any of you who might need a little extra reminder of why you may have chosen this path. have a good weekend!
God, may we continually humble ourselves and acknowledge our weakness, insufficiencies, and spiritual poverty. May our hearts be soft, open, willing to be changed even at great cost to our security and pride.
God, may we radically include the forgotten, the rejected, the marginalized, and the oppressed as a reflection of your love. May our tables be open and welcoming, with Christ’s spirit binding us all together, despite our differences. May men and women, black and white, rich and poor, gay and straight, educated and uneducated, single and married, and everything in between, live side-by-side and be equally loved, respected and included.
God, may we cultivate compassion in our hearts and our actions so that the hurting will feel your healing touch. May we never be too busy to love. May we be the people who stop, who care when no one else does, who listen, bandage wounds, carry folks to the hospital, and ooze mercy.
God, may we boldly enter into deep and challenging incarnational relationship with each other to keep practicing your ways of love. May we get tangled up with other people, sharing the good, bad and ugly. May we be dedicated to people who get on our nerves and drive us crazy. May we share resources, carry each other’s burdens, and pray intensely for each other, remembering that how we love each other is how we love the world.
God, keep showing us the way, guiding us as we stumble, practice and try.
Give us courage to keep following you down.
Amen.
loving God in lots of different ways
this summer at our weekend gatherings the refuge has been focusing on the practice of love–loving God, others, ourselves. it’s been a fun mix of different conversations & one thing is really clear–they each are intimately connected and can’t be separated or parsed out from each other. this past saturday we did a fun interactive exercise centered on discovering the different ways we love and connect with God. i mentioned that “love” can be a really strong and scary word, especially for people who are in a season of healing from religion. hearing we’re going to talk about “loving God” can make some break out in hives because it can feel like pressure or demands or one more way we’re supposed to conform to a particular form of worship. to me, love is about connection so i encouraged any who struggle with “loving God” to consider replacing “love” with “connecting with, communing with, hanging out with, getting energized by, feeling more alive with,” etc.
God is big.
we are unique.
opening up to recognizing and respecting our individual preferences can be really freeing.
i can’t re-create the experience but we adapted material from a book called sacred pathways: discovering your soul’s path to God by gary thomas and had 10 stations around the room with 5 questions for each. each one of these stations represented a different way we connect with God. everyone split up and moved through the questions and tallied the number they had for each (if you want the questions that help discern, email me and i’ll send them to you. we adapted them from the book, too, some were just a little too churchy for us). after everyone was done tallying, i shared this chart & we processed a bit together in the large group.
here’s a short blurb on each of the 10 types (the book only has 9 but we added the “healers” category).
#1 NATURALISTS: loving God through nature – learn best God lessons in the outdoors, can visualize scriptural truths, see God more clearly & learn to rest in the outdoors, feel free & unconstricted outside.
#2 SENSATES: loving God through the senses – connect with God through sight, smell, taste, touch, and sound. inspired by tangible experiences that connect with the senses (see God in art, feel textures, listen to music, smell perfume, taste food).
#3 TRADITIONALISTS: loving God through ritual & symbol – value rituals, symbols, and liturgical practices. appreciate reading or saying specific prayers. high value on the beauty of the church calendar, including the practices of lent and advent.
#4 ASCETICS: loving God through silence & solitude – love being alone with God. value simplicity. make room for quiet. like to fast and pray, distracted by senses.
#5 ACTIVISTS: loving God through confrontation – spiritually nourished through the battle of a “cause”. connect with God through social activism, advocating on behalf of others. offer time and energy to create change.
#6 CAREGIVERS: loving God through loving others – love to help, listen, care for others in a variety of ways including listening, actively helping, repairing broken things for others. feel close to God when actively engaged with people.
#7 ENTHUSIASTS: loving God through mystery & celebration – love getting caught up in worship experiences. look for movements of God–both big and small. expectant about God’s power & possibility, dreams & visions.
#8 CONTEMPLATIVES: loving God through adoration – love to rest in God’s presence. value spending quality time connecting with God through different forms of prayer including centering prayer, intercessory prayer, meditative prayers.
#9 INTELLECTUALS: loving God with the mind – love the Bible, systematic theology, and creeds. value beliefs about God. stimulated by Bible studies, lectionaries, and historical texts as well as philosophical conversations about God.
# 10 HEALERS: loving God through recovery – feel close to God when we are powerless & desperate. experience connection with God through the principles of the 12 steps. find God’s love through connecting with own and others pain.
which ones are you?
my top 3 were strong and clear–wanna guess? yep, activist, caregiver, healer. i’m so predictable. i definitely had some marks in several other categories, though, too, and i do love being outside, quiet, and connecting with God through art, music & beauty, but they are definitely not as strong. some people were really surprised by theirs. many expressed it feeling freeing somehow. others shared how years ago they were in a different place on their journey and would have fallen in a different category. for me, it was this beautiful reminder that this is just “me” and i feel connected to God when i am in the trenches with people. it doesn’t make me less spiritual or less worshipful.
also, each of these has a danger, a dark side. i really appreciated that part & connected with the dangers in each of my categories. download the chart to see some of the potential dangers.
the part i loved the most about this exercise is respecting our uniqueness and embracing the freedom to be who we are & to let others be free to be who they are, too. it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn and grow from being exposed to different ways. it’s good for us to stretch and try and expand. i also think that when churches/communities/groups only rely on one way in all of their practices, they leave out a big chunk of people. diversity is key. creating spaces that honors this diversity is very rare, but i think it’s sort of our call as individuals–and to those who are community cultivators–to honor & respect that everyone loves God in all kinds of different ways & to not expect everyone to conform to one as “the best” or “the right way”. i felt humbled & challenged.
what do you think? how do you connect with God? have the structures you’ve been part of helped you cultivate this?
here’s an uncropped fuzzy picture of the cool symbols my lovely friend jenny came up with for each type that was up front. the communion table was really pretty, too, even though this picture doesn’t give it justice. all different colored cups, same elements. all different ways to love, same God. amen.
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walking wounded: hope for those hurt by church
have you…
- been asked to leave a church or told you’re not a “good fit”?
- felt forced to conform or remain consistently overlooked?
- been told that you are loved but not your sin?
- questioned leadership or theology and found yourself on the outside?
- felt sad, angry, afraid, lost, or disoriented after painful church experiences?
i’m guessing some of you might have answered yes to one (or all!) of these questions! if you haven’t, you probably know someone who has. unfortunately, there’s a lot of church carnage out there. dear people who with good hearts who somehow ended up in the ranks of what we call “the walking wounded.” for all kinds of reasons, many have found themselves on the outs of the church and are wandering, disillusioned, disoriented, wondering “how in the $*!&$^!& did i end up here?”. i know the feeling. and how important it is to have other people to be able to share with so we feel less alone, less crazy, and can find some hope.
one thing that feels clear to me is that there aren’t very many great places for these kinds of conversations. the churches or systems that hurt us usually hum right along and keep on moving while people are laying on the side of the road. there’s no question that covert conversations at coffee shops, late night crying sessions with faithful safe friends, and online dialogue definitely help. but what seems to be missing, we think, is a really safe, intentional container for healing, hope, laughter & community.
on friday evening, october 21st & all day saturday october 22nd, we are hosting a space for this conversation called walking wounded: hope for those hurt by church. it’s a weekend gathering of fellow wanderers, sinners, rebels, and church refugees who are trying to find their way in the wilderness and long for a safe space for conversation, laughter, hope, and sanity.
you can check out all of the details on the site, but if you have any specific questions, etc. feel free to email me. because of limited space, we do need everyone to register online & the registration deadline is october 1st. if you need help with accommodations in denver, there’s a place on the registration form to let us know & we can work on some possibilities for you.
please consider coming (if you are in this spot in your life right now) or pass it on to others who might need some hope. there’s a small team of us pulling together all of the details & i do feel confident about this–it will be safe, it will be fun, it will be healing.
read the FAQ’s. there’s no catch. no big agenda. no money being made. our only hope is that the people who need to be there come & leave feeling less alone, less crazy, and more hopeful that the wild and scary path they are on can lead to freedom.
i’m really looking forward to it (and of course a little sad that there’s a need for such a thing!)
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co-pastoring part 3: here’s what it looks like here
i am in the middle of a series on co-pastoring or shared leadership, just processing some thoughts out loud about it because I think it is far under-looked as a potential model for leadership in communities & organizations. you can watch the first two video conversations here:
as i mentioned before, the refuge has always had a shared leadership model & our team has shifted over the past five years. right now, we have four people—me, karl, stacy, and mike. the thing I bring to the team is the glue & a passion for relationship, care & advocacy. i’m the mommy bird always trying to get the kids to fly. karl, who you saw in the previous two videos, is a strong visionary & amazing teacher and has experience in all kinds of churches & ministries over the years. he and I share a lot of the primary moving-things-along-from-the-front-leadership kinds of things. stacy moved to colorado to be part of the refuge two years ago (after first being a carnival blog reader, yay!) and has brought so much love & life to our community. she transitioned onto our team a year ago. she’s awesome with kids & youth & has a huge passion for healing. outside of the refuge she’s a grief therapist for kids & families. mike has been part of our team from the beginning and is the best chaplain/care pastor ever created. he brings a quiet, faithful strength & is a healer.
there are many other pastors & leaders at the refuge who aren’t part of our team. their voice is just as important but the four of us spend a little more time and focused energy on nurturing the life of our community during this season. i always think of ourselves as catalysts, people called to cultivate the space—in all kinds of different ways–for growth & transformation. but without our entire community, none of it is possible. none of us consider this a job.
i asked the three of them a few questions about co-pastoring:
- how’d you end up becoming a co-pastor at the refuge?
It was a dream I had for a long, long time. I really feel like the opportunity was handed to me, and it was not that hard to form. I feel “lucky” to have been a part of the start. – Karl
I was asked to come on board a little over a year ago, and I was so wide-eyed and bushy tailed in terms of what it would actually look like. So much of the naiveness has long since faded, haha, and in its place has been so much depth and growth. – Stacy
It kind of just happened. Kathy and Karl asked me to come with them and be an elder in a new church plant, but pretty much from the start they used the word “pastor” when describing my position. With their encouragement I leaned into something I never envisioned nor felt capable of doing. I love it! – Mike
- if someone asked “what does co-pastoring look like at the refuge?” what would you tell them?
What makes it hard for folks to understand is that they are usually thinking of how the function works. I would say we are primarily friends trying to be better friends and along the way we mutually participate in helping nurture a faith community. I would emphasize that pastoring happens along the way to being better friends, brothers and sisters. This a new way for me to think about it, but really resonates so far. – Karl
I really like Karl’s response. I would also add that it alleviates so much pressure in a hard or complicated situation to ask “Can I bring this back to the team, and see what some of their thoughts are?” I feel like it is ultimately so much better for our community, as it is not just one voice speaking into moments and lives. – Stacy
No one leader. No one with all the power–just equal friends doing life together. It seems like a group of friends got together to find a different way of living out what Jesus called us to do. And then we invited our friends to join us on this journey of life and faith. – Mike
- what is the hardest part about it?
Honestly, not much; it is no harder than when you decide to be friends with anyone. The ministry part is more life giving than taxing. – Karl
The learning curve! Also, too, I would say that it can be challenging as woman to be taken seriously apart from my role with the kids. Not really so much inside our community, but sometimes in conversations outside of the refuge. Something Karl said to me, the week that I was asked to be a part of the team still often lingers. He said ” Just so you know, we want you-who you are and what you bring to the table to be a part of our team. The fact that you are good with kids is just a bonus” – Stacy
I think the hardest part for me is how slowly things progress because all decisions are based on the ideas of all and not a central leader. The results are much better, but it takes more time. – Mike
i will add my perspective on this one–for me, what’s hard is how i have to give up some of what i want for the sake of others. sometimes what i want, we’re just not ready for. other times what i want is a bad idea altogether. submitting that to the team has been hard for me, but really good, too, because it’s forced me to let go of “my way now”.
- what is the best part about it?
There is absolutely no pressure. – Karl
Feeling so supported and getting to truly support my friends as well on this journey. – Stacy
Getting to work and hang out with friends and be part of each other’s lives. It certainly doesn’t feel like a job. I feel blessed being able to work with such good friends, both the co-pastors and the entire Refuge family. – Mike
- what are you learning about yourself through co-pastoring?
Sharing is a great teaching point, but when it bumps up against pride and ego it can smart. I do like being the center of attention, and to share that is sometimes an effort for me. – Karl
Wow, so much that I almost don’t know where to begin. The bottom line, though, is that I am learning what it means to bring my *whole* self to the table. I used to totally think that it was really only the competent and efficient parts of me that my team wanted. I have since realized that continuing to grow in transparency means not trying to put my “best face” forward. That mentality has helped make me a better overall friend and much better teammate. – Stacy
That I have “good power” I can use for good and “bad power” I can use for evil. I have much to learn to be able to do relationships really well. I am reminded of how much I need to keep my focus on the log in my eye and not the speck in the eyes of others. I am learning that love is the greatest healer, and if we trust the process thing usually work out well. – Mike
- what are you learning about christian community through co-pastoring?
Hmmm, I feel like such a rookie, and know so little about true community. Maybe how little I know is the biggest lesson so far. – Karl
I resonate with so much to learn, for sure. It is so freeing, however, as a woman, to be empowered to lead freely as well. I honestly don’t think about that fact until I run into a conversation with someone outside of our community, who has both spoken and unspoken limitations due to gender. I am also learning how hard it is to do life and live out the ways of Jesus every day. It’s so worth it, but for sure really hard to continually bump up against my own humanity. It’s humbling, but beautiful. – Stacy
It is harder than I thought it would be, but more rewarding than I would have imagined. Even people that you love can rub you wrong at times and I continue to learn that I can be annoying and arrogant at times as well. – Mike
- what are you learning about conflict through co-pastoring?
I feel way more empowered in that area. I am less afraid of it and it no longer paralyzes me. I have learned that it is not important to get it perfect and that waiting to get it ‘ just right’ is a devil trick. I am discovering if I just plow into it and trust that the relationship can handle it and it will not end the friendship. – Karl
I am learning how resolved conflict really strengthens the depth of a relationship. We talk through so much, and it is really helpful to know where each other’s sore spots are, and how to navigate in a way that honors everybody better. – Stacy
Life takes practice and I will never get it right. Conflict is hard, but no relationship can thrive without healthy conflict. It still scares me, but as I have seen it play out over our 5 years together– if everyone comes to the table in the spirit of love the end results are amazing. We need to trust our friend’s hearts. – Mike
- why do you think more people don’t try this leadership model?
It’s not very efficient, it does take more time to get some things done. Plus, you cannot have a big, personality driven church because it is too diffused for that. – Karl
It takes way more time and patience to make decisions, and to hear each of us out on a matter. There aren’t many solo decisions, and there is so much more consideration involved. – Stacy
It takes so long to get things done. It is hard to submit to each other. Let’s face it, we all want to be the star, boss, superstar, or big shot and unless that is put to rest, this won’t work. – Mike
- if someone was considering co-pastoring their faith community–whatever shape or form that might take–what is one word of advice you’d give them?
What do you have to lose? You’ll gain less pressure, better friends and a check on ego. Just focus on relationship and not tasks. – Karl
Get ready to learn way more than you bargained for! – Stacy
Be prepared to submit. Deflate your ego. Be prepared for conflict. Learn to be a friend, not a co worker. Hang on for a bumpy, but beautiful ride. – Mike
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i am so thankful for what i learn through sharing leadership. it kicks my butt sometimes and i want to run for the hills or get hired as an executive director somewhere where I can just be the boss. but the truth is that i’d be far too lonely & am ruined for anything else. the growth & beauty that can come from learning what it means to live in submitted community to each other is far too valuable.
i’d love to hear some of your thoughts. next up: some interviews with other co-pastors in different communities, awesome friends of mine who are living this out, too.
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