rebuilding after deconstructing: 5. celebrating what was

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 20 Comments

oh i wish some of you could have seen me years ago.  i was the best-christian-good-girl-ever!  it would make you laugh (or cry).  and as much as i can’t believe that was me, i keep learning how important it is to honor that stage of my faith as a very important part of my story.  instead of rejecting it and being mad at myself for some of the things i believed & the ways i behaved, i am learning to honor and celebrate it. it was …

rebuilding after deconstructing: 4. finding what works

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 39 Comments

this is the 5th post in a series here on rebuilding after deconstructing and navigating through deep shifts in our faith.  the other posts are:  introduction, 1. honoring the process, 2. acknowledging losses. 3. discovering what remains.  thank you for all of the responses.  hard but beautiful stuff.  * * * * * every wednesday night at our house we have a “house of refuge”.  it’s a wild, diverse & open group that’s been meeting since the refuge started in 2006.  we share a meal & …

rebuilding after deconstructing: 3. discovering what remains

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 44 Comments

* this is the 4th post for a series on rebuilding and renewing our faith after going through huge scary shifts.  i have never posted this much in the entire life of my blog!  but i do kind of like moving through it quickly instead of over several months and then  people can come back and access the material whenever and however they need.  this is only meant to provide an overview of some of the major themes on this journey.  i realize it’s kind of …

rebuilding after deconstructing: 2. acknowledging losses

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 43 Comments

“grief is itself a medicine.”  ~ william cowper thank you for your honest & beautiful & hard responses to what the first 2 posts in this series have stirred up. i’m always reminded in these moments how many of us are out there asking the same questions, feeling the same feelings, trying to find our way. if you haven’t read them already, read the intro post  & part 1. honoring the process first. as i mentioned yesterday, grief work is a big part of this journey …

rebuilding after deconstruction: 1. honoring the process

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 42 Comments

*this is first in a series of posts centered on rebuilding our faith after deconstructing.  read the intro post first if you haven’t already. in 2004, after one year of counseling classes and a switch to 2 years of spiritual direction courses i earned a certificate in evangelical spiritual guidance (now called soul care & spiritual formation) at denver seminary.  i was strangely drawn to spiritual direction from my very first class in 2001.  it gave language to much of what we had been talking about …

rebuilding after deconstructing

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 55 Comments

“see i’m doing a new thing. now it springs up; do you not perceive it? i am making a way in the wilderness, streams in the wasteland.” – isaiah 43:19-20 * * * i know many people who have gone, are going through, or will go through a gut-wrenching, excruciatingly painful and lonely season in their faith called “deconstruction.” where much of what we believe shifts. where things we once held dear unravel. where the number of questions begin to overtake all of our past certainties. …

jenga faith

kathyescobar faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, spiritual formation 33 Comments

thank you all for your love & honesty about sunday’s post when easter is hard.  i am always reminded in these moments how many amazing people are out there feeling similar feelings in different ways. i’m more convinced than ever we need an underground railroad to help each other on the way to freedom.   the timing of this month’s synchroblog is interesting, too, because it is centered on the resurrection & “what if it was really a hoax”, a controversial conversation sure to stir up some …

when easter’s hard.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, healing 77 Comments

most of you already all know that i love easter because i’m always rambling about it. i’m definitely not alone on this one. it’s the most popular christian holiday & many more people-who-don’t-identify-with-the-Jesusy-part-of-easter love it, too, with all its chocolate & springtime & fun. we already celebrated last night at the refuge (we get resurrection sunday about 12 hours earlier than everyone else because we gather on saturday nights). it was sweet & wild & fun, with one of my favorite songs ever and lovely stories …