rebuilding after deconstructing: 2. acknowledging losses

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 43 Comments

“grief is itself a medicine.”  ~ william cowper thank you for your honest & beautiful & hard responses to what the first 2 posts in this series have stirred up. i’m always reminded in these moments how many of us are out there asking the same questions, feeling the same feelings, trying to find our way. if you haven’t read them already, read the intro post  & part 1. honoring the process first. as i mentioned yesterday, grief work is a big part of this journey …

rebuilding after deconstruction: 1. honoring the process

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 42 Comments

*this is first in a series of posts centered on rebuilding our faith after deconstructing.  read the intro post first if you haven’t already. in 2004, after one year of counseling classes and a switch to 2 years of spiritual direction courses i earned a certificate in evangelical spiritual guidance (now called soul care & spiritual formation) at denver seminary.  i was strangely drawn to spiritual direction from my very first class in 2001.  it gave language to much of what we had been talking about …

rebuilding after deconstructing

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 55 Comments

“see i’m doing a new thing. now it springs up; do you not perceive it? i am making a way in the wilderness, streams in the wasteland.” – isaiah 43:19-20 * * * i know many people who have gone, are going through, or will go through a gut-wrenching, excruciatingly painful and lonely season in their faith called “deconstruction.” where much of what we believe shifts. where things we once held dear unravel. where the number of questions begin to overtake all of our past certainties. …

jenga faith

kathyescobar faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, spiritual formation 33 Comments

thank you all for your love & honesty about sunday’s post when easter is hard.  i am always reminded in these moments how many amazing people are out there feeling similar feelings in different ways. i’m more convinced than ever we need an underground railroad to help each other on the way to freedom.   the timing of this month’s synchroblog is interesting, too, because it is centered on the resurrection & “what if it was really a hoax”, a controversial conversation sure to stir up some …

when easter’s hard.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, healing 77 Comments

most of you already all know that i love easter because i’m always rambling about it. i’m definitely not alone on this one. it’s the most popular christian holiday & many more people-who-don’t-identify-with-the-Jesusy-part-of-easter love it, too, with all its chocolate & springtime & fun. we already celebrated last night at the refuge (we get resurrection sunday about 12 hours earlier than everyone else because we gather on saturday nights). it was sweet & wild & fun, with one of my favorite songs ever and lovely stories …

10 ways churches jack people up

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, healing, injustice 52 Comments

i do not think church systems wake up in the morning and think “i’m going to hurt a lot of people today.”  intentions are often good.  stirrings from God seem clear.  visions and strategies make total sense.  the desire to make a difference “for the kingdom” is strong. for all kinds of reasons, though, many church systems are really unhealthy.  often our basic insecurity as christians is a flaw that crops up all over the place in the way we interact with the world.   our …

the underground railroad

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational, injustice 27 Comments

“if i could have convinced more slaves they were slaves, i could have freed thousands more” – harriet tubman this past weekend i was in portland for a women’s gathering called convergence.  it is not a typical conference; there are no speakers, no people getting paid, no flash.  just a sacred safe space for a bunch of women leaders to share & learn & soak & be challenged & encourage & grieve & grow. i went to see dear & inspiring friends and get a little …

chronic pain, soul care & better theology

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 17 Comments

“when we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope” – henri nouwen * * * * * one year ago today i had back surgery to repair a gnarly ruptured disc.  it was one of the scariest things i have ever done.  as someone who had never had a serious injury and rarely takes any medicine, and …