father’s day angst.

kathyescobar healing, relationships 1 Comment

It’s here tomorrow, yet another holiday that is great for all kinds of people and really hard for many others. I have written about all the major ones at this point–Christmas, Mother’s Day, Easter, and Father’s Day, too. But here we are again. Father’s Day always seems to seek up on us, and I didn’t want this day to go by without taking a pause and remembering that this day can create a lot of angst for people for all kinds of different reasons. But before I do …

we need mothers & fathers & daughters & sons & sisters & brothers.

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, healing, identity, incarnational, relationships, spiritual formation 2 Comments

I’m on a bit of a power-of-community roll right now, revisiting some old posts that have been rattling around in my head.  To me, the purpose of community, “the church”, is to have a place, whatever that looks like, to learn to love God & others and to be loved by God & others. Like so many other things that matter in the kingdom of God, it doesn’t magically drop out of the sky. It comes through hard work invested in relationship–with God, with others, with ourselves. Over the …

failed relationships.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, relationships 3 Comments

Today’s post is a day late for Failure Week, but no one cares except for me, ha ha. I am trying to wrap up a few things before a blog break but I’ve been in the thick of a lot of hard stuff this week. In the midst of it, I have been thinking so much about failure and how pervasive fear of it can be.  So much has to do with expectations of ourselves, of others, of the forces of the world.  It makes me …

some possibilities for bridge building instead of bombing (even though i’m better at that).

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, friendship, leadership, relationships 4 Comments

I know I can be such a hypocrite. I say one thing and do another. I’m human. I’m doing the best I can with what I have but want to keep improving. I also think the how-do-I-stand-for-what-I-believe-or-think-needs-to-be-said-without-being-mean can be a dilemma. Take the Trump conversation, for example. I believe passionately we need to consider our addiction to kings. And this is my blog and a place where I can process out loud. I am sure some would prefer the language was softer or more balanced or …

different not divided.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, friendship, healing, incarnational, leadership, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge, video convos 7 Comments

One of the things I care the most about is creating spaces and places where people can have hard conversations about life and faith. It’s not the easiest task. And to be honest, it’s much simpler to cultivate a safe space for recovery and healing than it is to create a space to hold our different theological differences in tension. Intra-faith dialogue is sometimes far trickier than inter-faith dialogue. Online conversations, while annoying, are often so much easier than face-to-face, in real life, with people that we …

please dear God, help us find a better way to talk about abortion solutions

kathyescobar crazy making, healing, incarnational, injustice, relationships 6 Comments

I always get nervous when I post about this topic because it brings out the trolls. At the same time, I can barely stand how horrid the conversations about abortion seem to go online. I believe in every part of me that there’s a better way to talk about this and find some better solutions together.   The problem is that the conversation is so charged, polarized, and completely unsafe that no one can say anything about it without things going bonkers. We will never get to …

underneath anger.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing, mommydom, relationships, synchroblog 14 Comments

This month’s Synchroblog is centered on Anger. Here’s the description: “Anger sometimes has a bad reputation. Some of us have been taught that anger is a negative emotion, something that should be squeezed out, prayed through, avoided.  Others of us have been raised in families and churches that never allowed for expression of anger so we have no concept of what “healthy anger” even means.  What do we think God thinks of our anger? What do we think of it?  What are you learning about it? …

5 popular ways to shut down conversations about power.

kathyescobar crazy making, equality, incarnational, injustice, relationships 20 Comments

Years ago when I started speaking out against the powers-that-be about “church”, I noticed a pattern. Almost the minute something negative was shared, there would be an immediate defensiveness and responses like “be careful about being divisive”, “the church is made up of imperfect people”, “t’s not all bad”, or “I’ll pray for you.” The basic summary of the responses–“quit saying negative things, we don’t like it.” When the events in Ferguson broke out last year, I was appalled at the comments on Facebook when people from …