abuse & christian obstacles to healing.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, out of the darkness 13 Comments

Abuse is rampant, for both women and men. There are so many forms. Emotional. Physical. Sexual. (Often not mentioned in certain lists: Spiritual) The statistics are so painful. (Please, read these) Millions and millions. Each minute of every day. Getting out of an abusive relationship is brutally hard. The ingredients are toxic and paralyzing–the potential consequences of more abuse if others know, fear & shame, the economic realities of leaving, fear & shame, the kids & other family ties, fear & shame, no-self-worth, fear & shame. …

out of the darkness: singleness & the church, part 2

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, out of the darkness 8 Comments

i did a series of conversations in 2009 and 2010 called out of the darkness.  it had honest stories from my friends on topics that often never get talked about in church. if you didn’t read them, here they are: self-injury brave thoughts from a former abuser hope & healing from sexual addiction the lingering damage of sexual abuse eating disorders the A word – abortion the untold story of abused men never underestimate the damage of spiritual abuse women struggle with sexual addictions, too singleness …

out of the darkness: singleness & the church

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, out of the darkness 17 Comments

one of my hopes on the carnival blog has always been to help people feel a little less alone on their journey, whatever that looks like.  i have met so many great people along the way and am so thankful for the time you take each week to read my l-o-n-g posts.  as part of the out of the darkness series, i wanted to bring the whole issue of “being single & in the church” out on the table.  i have been married for 20 years …

out of the darkness: women struggle with sexual addictions, too

kathyescobar healing, out of the darkness 5 Comments

last summer i had a series of interviews on the carnival called “out of the darkness.“ i have been meaning to get a few more of these interviews up for a while and am finally getting around to it.  if you are new here, you may have missed some of the series of interviews i’ve done.  in addition to out of the darkness, there’s a series called “a view from the margins” & another is “signs of hope.” if you haven’t read them yet, they are …

out of the darkness: never underestimate the damage of spiritual abuse.

kathyescobar fundamentalism, out of the darkness 21 Comments

if there’s one thing that really pisses me off in this world it’s abuse.  to me, abuse is when people use their power, authority, position, or strength in unhealthy damaging ways to control, harm, manipulate, and use people.  abuse strips people of dignity.  it confuses and hurts.  it messes with our heads. it crosses socioeconomic and cultural boundaries and is far more prevalent than any of us probably know.  and while i often speak of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, one other form of abuse (which …

out of the darkness: the untold story of abused men

kathyescobar healing, identity, out of the darkness 17 Comments

thank you all for your thoughts and love from my last out of the darkness post.  i am always thankful to hear that somehow my story can offer hope to others in some small way. it is more redeeming than you know.   i have appreciated this series and the wonderful stories of God-at-work-through-the-Body-of-Christ-when-it-becomes-safe-enough-for-what-is-in-the-darkness-to-come-into-the-light. this week’s story is one that is very special to me because it is so typically untold.  you hear me all the time talk about marginalized and abused women. i of course am …

out of the darkness: the “A” word–abortion

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, out of the darkness 26 Comments

it’s summer, and i’m definitely down to posting once a week at best; that’s plenty for right now.  i have been in the midst of typical refuge nuttiness, which i am trying to really embrace as the glory and beauty of real community together.  life in the trenches, healing, growing, learning, giving, stretching is hard and wonderful work, and sometimes i wake up and say “well, i guess this is what you asked for, isn’t it?” right now we are working the 12 steps together at …

out of the darkness: eating disorders

kathyescobar healing, identity, out of the darkness 9 Comments

i remember about 4 1/2  years ago when a leader of the food issues group at a celebrate recovery group i was co-leading highlighted how little people understood about eating disorders.  you see, after every one of our meetings we had something called “solid rock café” where there would be all kinds of food and music and a time to hang out with people afterward.  she pointed out the weird contradiction for her group members by saying, “yeah, isn’t it interesting that every single week we …