for jesus there are no countries to be conquered

little (and big and every size in between) pockets of peace

kathyescobar dreams, incarnational, injustice, leadership 2 Comments

Oh, what a horrid month it’s been.  Beirut, Syria, Iraq, and Paris (and many, many others not highlighted in the news). So much violence, destruction, fear, and confusion. What can we do? How do we carry on with our real lives and not ignore the reality of such deep pain in our fellow humans? We can feel so helpless. I haven’t been writing much this month for all kinds of reasons (mainly, if it doesn’t come, I just don’t force it), but I felt an urge …

listen love learn

important words from parents of LGBQT kids: what hurts, what helps

kathyescobar equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational, injustice, what it's like 6 Comments

I had the privilege of spending a few days with an online support group for moms of LGBQT kids of all ages. What a gift! These are amazing women of hope and courage. As we all know, many strains of Christianity have not been kind to these kids and parents. The judgment, the ostracizing, the scripturizing has been extremely painful and has catalyzed many of them to experience painful (and freeing!) faith shifts. I loved listening to how people are finding their way, and a lot …

people who fight fire with fire

please dear God, help us find a better way to talk about abortion solutions

kathyescobar crazy making, healing, incarnational, injustice, relationships 6 Comments

I always get nervous when I post about this topic because it brings out the trolls. At the same time, I can barely stand how horrid the conversations about abortion seem to go online. I believe in every part of me that there’s a better way to talk about this and find some better solutions together.   The problem is that the conversation is so charged, polarized, and completely unsafe that no one can say anything about it without things going bonkers. We will never get to …

henri nouwen show not tell

Christian show or tell?

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational 16 Comments

I recently had a brief and good but challenging conversation with a friend about Christian belief. It wasn’t a long drawn out one, but as they were explaining the ins and outs of why a particular belief was important, I could feel my body tense up and my heart shut down. The only thing I could think of was “I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to …

im not like those people

“i’m not like those people”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, incarnational, rants 11 Comments

I love what “but God says…” stirred up! Here’s the second installment of three phrases that really bug me for all kinds of reasons beyond just nitpicking-ness. Years ago when I first started in healing ministry, one of the biggest obstacles I encountered wasn’t within the groups I was in or led. Those were easy; sure, the amount of pain and honesty and struggle in the room was hard but the people in them were so beautiful and brave that it far outweighed it. The push …

the way toward something new

8 ways men can advocate for women’s equality.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, friendship, incarnational, leadership, the refuge 15 Comments

Yesterday I had the privilege of sharing on a panel alongside 4 other female pastors & leaders in a room filled with about 25 male pastors & leaders in Denver. Most everyone had evangelical roots, and while some pastored churches others were leading nonprofits and various ministries in town. There was only one purpose: to listen to what it was like to be a woman in ministry.  We had told our stories several months before in a similar forum, but last time the number of women …



kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, identity, incarnational 13 Comments

The other day I made up a new word without even knowing it. I was hanging out with some of my favorite people in Denver at our spiritual formation-support-group-hanging-with-people-who-understand-how-hard-this-work-in-the-trenches-is, casually talking about the fall-out of controlling ministry practices. In response to one of the comments, I said, “The truth is that just perpetuates God damage.” I guess I said it kind of quickly and so it came out “Goddamage.” Goddamage. Say it fast. Dammit it, I am so sick of Goddamage! Seriously. There are many people …

privilege is not a dirty word

“privilege” doesn’t have to be a dirty word.

kathyescobar equality, healing, incarnational, injustice 7 Comments

“Privilege exists when one group has something of value that is denied to others simply because of the groups they belong to, rather than because of anything they’ve done or failed to do.” ~Peggy McIntosh The word “privilege” is being tossed around a lot these days, for good reason. There is a cry for justice, for equality, for systemic change in big ways right now and there’s no way around talking about privilege as part of the conversation. Some people say it doesn’t exist (don’t get me …