a lot happens in the wilderness

out in the desert.

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, identity 12 Comments

One of the things I sometimes hear about people who unravel their faith and end up on the outside of all they once knew is that they are being “rebellious, hard-hearted, self-centered, or mislead.” It’s an interesting observation because usually it comes from people who are feeling halfway decent about God, the Bible, and their faith. They are on the inside looking out, assuming far beyond what meets the eye. Unraveling, while messy and painful and confusing, is often one of the most sincere and faithful experiences …

how glorious a human heart

grace jealousy.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, faith shifts, healing, identity 19 Comments

I started writing this post over three years ago but never got very far. However, this thought has come back to me a lot over the past several weeks I thought I’d finish this half-baked thought. Plus, today’s my birthday and I have been a bit nostalgic, thinking of the things I wish I had learned earlier, the things I’m so grateful I’m learning now, the things I am willing to stand on tables for, and the things that I just don’t have the energy for …



kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, identity, incarnational 13 Comments

The other day I made up a new word without even knowing it. I was hanging out with some of my favorite people in Denver at our spiritual formation-support-group-hanging-with-people-who-understand-how-hard-this-work-in-the-trenches-is, casually talking about the fall-out of controlling ministry practices. In response to one of the comments, I said, “The truth is that just perpetuates God damage.” I guess I said it kind of quickly and so it came out “Goddamage.” Goddamage. Say it fast. Dammit it, I am so sick of Goddamage! Seriously. There are many people …

lifted heads and straightened backs

lifting heads, straightening backs.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, healing, identity, women in ministry 13 Comments

Sometimes I get calls from women asking for help to get out of an abusive relationship. Skittish, scared, and filled with shame, they reach out and share their story. It’s so brave. Some are rich, some are poor. Some are educated, others have never graduated from high school. Some have kids while others don’t. Some have husbands, others never have. Some are leaders, others are followers. Some call Jesus their God, others lost their faith a long time ago. Their circumstances might be different but their …

“i just don’t see how he could do that” & some thoughts on abuse

kathyescobar crazy making, healing, identity, incarnational, injustice 21 Comments

**warning: this post is about sexual abuse (and emotional, physical, and spiritual too) and so if you are extra sensitive to this topic, please know there could be possible triggers. abuse is one of the most damaging things that can happen to someone. and there’s never an excuse for it. young or old, male or female, or all of the different circumstances of where, when, and how the abuse happened don’t make a difference in its impact. once it happens, that person’s life is forever changed. i’ll …

restored dignity won’t drop out of the sky

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, healing, identity, incarnational, jesus is cool, the refuge 3 Comments

this past friday i spoke at a large gathering here in denver called simply jesus. i was only there for the first part because of kids’ football games, but i did get to see NT wright in the lobby!  it was also a bonus gift to get to meet kelley nikondeha, a sister from shelovesmagazine & kindred spirit & d.l. mayfield, who has a really awesome series on her blog centered on downward mobility. the contrast to my unplugged life at the refuge was wild (and microphones …

equality matters, post #328

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, identity, jesus is cool, women in ministry 18 Comments

  yesterday my lovely and gifted blog friend sarah bessey’s new book was released. it’s called Jesus feminist, and i hope that you will buy a copy and let the beauty of her words sink into deep places into your heart and practice. obviously, she is singing a song that is music to my ears. i haven’t counted the posts i’ve written about it, but i know there have been a lot. here’s why. the battle for equality is far from won, but we are making …

formation friday: enneagram love (and hate)

kathyescobar formation friday, healing, identity, spiritual formation, the refuge 46 Comments

i know so many people despise personality tools. they hate how they put us in boxes and label us and limit us.  i get that, but i think they can be really helpful tools to better understand ourselves, too. a few years ago i intersected with the enneagram, which in some christian circles is considered somehow taboo because of its jungian roots, but i can honestly say that out of all of the personality tests i have ever taken it has been the most helpful–and the …