more than the mess

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, spiritual formation 9 Comments

  the picture on the left are cups are on my bathroom counter.  and no, they’re not for some science experiment i’m doing with my kids.  they’ve been there for over a week. jose has been seeing how many days it will take before i actually do something about them and the funny thing is that i just keep adding to them.  the dirty coffee cups & empty water glasses are multiplying right before our very eyes. and the fuzz, well, it’s starting to grow.   i don’t know …

the beauty and pain of pot-making

kathyescobar healing, spiritual formation, the refuge 9 Comments

and for all you naughties out there who only saw the title & not the picture,  i’m talking about pots that potters make out of clay!   yesterday i went to the spiritual direction  3 hour retreat that the refuge hosted at jenny’s house.   my friend debbie swanson, who is a spiritual director, facilitated.   i loved the time and space to just chill, be quiet, listen, receive.  it was good for my weary soul after a rough couple of days (the aches and pains of developing a new …

the flogging machine

kathyescobar crazy making, healing, just because i thought it was funny, the carnival in my head, the refuge 15 Comments

a friend emailed me yesterday and told me she had been hanging out in the flogging machine.  in my earlier post i referred to it, but  i realized that my friends from the refuge and some others may know what i am talking about but others might not have any idea what it means.  i did recently have someone ask “do you mean a fogging machine?”  and i’m like, “no, those are in concerts (and sometimes churches).” here’s the definition of flogging:  to beat with a whip, …

5.15.07 from the refuge blog…Downward Mobility

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, jesus is cool, spiritual formation, the fam, the refuge 1 Comment

Well it’s official I am over the hill! 40 years old. I know those of you who have already hit this mark don’t have a lick of sympathy for me. My favorite card this year was made by my son Josh, who’s 15. Here’s what he made up: Roses are red, violets are blue You might be 40 but you look 22 Yeah, he’s a liar, but he loves me (and if you ever need a self-esteem lift, just talk to Josh, he’s the best at …

5.4.07 from xgcw…don’t go back to sleep!

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, relationships 0 Comments

i used to always say “ignorance is bliss”…i don’t believe it’s true, but i do sometimes wish my eyes hadn’t ever opened to the truth and reality of my life and crazy patterns and true need for God. life was so much easier when i was in denial! of course it wasn’t easier…it stunk, but when i was in denial, i definitely didn’t have to feel as much pain or be as aware of my “stuff” or my desperate need for Jesus’ real help and hope …

9.20.06 from the refuge blog… Is there a Doctor in the Church?

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, the refuge 1 Comment

I am a broken person. I do things I don’t want to do, I struggle with things I think I should be “over” by now, I don’t love the people closest to me the way I long to, I am selfish. I had better be careful or I will self-destruct. I want to be a better lover of God & people. I want to live out what it means to be a child of God. Is there a Doctor in the church? Jesus made very clear …

8.9.06 from the refuge blog…My Love-Hate Thing with Community

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, healing, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 1 Comment

We’ve been spending the past few weeks talking about community at The Refuge. Everyone who knows me knows I love community. I love relationships. I love people connecting with God and each other. I love to see someone who thinks they are unlovable start to feel loved because I remember how much that meant to me a long time ago. But it’s not just a love thing. Please do not think I have some crazy idealistic view of community, thinking it’s a piece of cake to …

7.28.06 from the refuge blog…War Wounds

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 1 Comment

I have skin cancer. Don’t worry. It’s not serious, but I had to have this thing on my chest removed a few weeks ago. 8 stitches. It’s ugly and I’m stuck with it forever. The worst part is that it was kind of my fault because a weird combination of fear, denial & busyness led me to postpone taking care of it for over 2 years. I know, you are shaking your head. You see, I am really good at taking care of other people and …