i hate shame

kathyescobar healing, identity, spiritual formation, the carnival in my head 28 Comments

yeah, i know hate’s a strong & negative word.  i don’t like my kids to say the word “hate” and i am always giving them alternatives:  “don’t like”, “don’t agree with,” “not into” are all fine.   but when it comes to shame, honestly, the only word that i can think of that’s appropriate is hate.   i hate shame. shame is the #1 destroyer of freedom, the #1 destroyer of relationship, the #1 destroyer of hope.  i am 100% convinced that this the reason the enemy, who is very good …

identity prayer

kathyescobar healing, identity, spiritual formation, the refuge 3 Comments

ah, today a short & sweet blog post, yeah!  are you relieved?  since i only post a few times a week i am well aware i always squeeze in more than average in a single post!  sorry, it’s a metaphor for my life….     for the past 6 weeks or so at our sunday evening gatherings at the refuge we have been having conversations & experiences related to knowing more deeply our true identity in christ.    my extremely wise and talented friend & refuge teammmate christa romig-leavitt wrote a …

hmmm, maybe i’m a re-evangelist?

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, jesus is cool, spiritual formation 12 Comments

i never was much of an evangelist.  i have re-dedicated my life to Christ more times than i can count, but 1990 is when my walk with God got more intense and i think i actually stopped raising my hand when they did the altar call.  i more clearly and offically became an evangelical christian and learned a lot about the Bible, discipleship, and the christian life.  over the years i have been part of a handful of a few honest true conversion experiences, and of course the …

lars & the real girl

kathyescobar healing, just because i thought it was fun 12 Comments

i love movies.  my perfect day would be to see a really good movie every day of the week (along with some popcorn & a diet coke!).  i try to squeeze one in whenever i can, and this past week i watched my new recent fave that wasn’t a documentary:  lars & the real girl.  if you haven’t seen it yet and you like quirky, deep, simple movies, it’s worth checking out.  the story was about a socially awkward guy named lars who buys a realistic-sized …

it stinks down here, but i really love the smell…

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, healing, the refuge 21 Comments

i like to participate in glenn hager’s monthly synchroblog (check out the other links here) just for fun because it forces me to think about some specific topics and i get to read about what some others are saying, too.  this month was just a few simple questions… how  are you doing? what are you doing? what are you learning? what are you dreaming about?   the questions seemed timely.  the refuge just came upon its 2 year anniversary (hard to believe) & i just came out …

no more lepers

kathyescobar dreams, fundamentalism, healing, spiritual formation, the refuge 19 Comments

“if you judge people you have no time to love them” – mother teresa “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” – Jesus one of my favorite passages of scripture is in john 8, where Jesus protects a woman from the justice-seeking crowd by radically turning the tables on them, calling them to look at their own lives before they past judgment on hers.  and he sure doesn’t mince words.   the motto at our wednesday night house of refuge is “no stones thrown here.”  …

“auntie kathy, are you sure it’s not wrong for you to be a pastor?”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, dreams, ex good christian women, fundamentalism, healing, women in ministry 61 Comments

well here’s a sincere email i received last week from my 14 year old niece.  i got permission from her to share it on this blog so don’t feel like i’m violating some private conversation.   i thought it was too important, telling, to just keep between her and i and if it helps challenge us a little, well, it’s worth it.   i know you will all honor and respect her for her question.  she goes to a conservative christian school: hey auntie kathy. i was just wondering what your input …

unbind her

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, healing, the refuge 16 Comments

i spent the past couple of days in downtown denver at a women’s event that some dear women i know put together called woman come forth. i run in weird diverse circles. i have my wild and crazy emerging friends, my conservative evangelical friends, my don’t-go-to-church-and-don’t-plan-to-anymore friends, my recovery friends, my eclecic refuge friends, my i-have-had-bad-experiences-with-christians-but-i-kind-of-like-you friends, and a hodge-podge of other lovely people God has brought across my path.   i am very thankful for the richness it all brings.  but sometimes it’s all kind of comical! this event …