the flogging machine

kathyescobar crazy making, healing, just because i thought it was funny, the carnival in my head, the refuge 15 Comments

a friend emailed me yesterday and told me she had been hanging out in the flogging machine.  in my earlier post i referred to it, but  i realized that my friends from the refuge and some others may know what i am talking about but others might not have any idea what it means.  i did recently have someone ask “do you mean a fogging machine?”  and i’m like, “no, those are in concerts (and sometimes churches).” here’s the definition of flogging:  to beat with a whip, …

5.15.07 from the refuge blog…Downward Mobility

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, jesus is cool, spiritual formation, the fam, the refuge 1 Comment

Well it’s official I am over the hill! 40 years old. I know those of you who have already hit this mark don’t have a lick of sympathy for me. My favorite card this year was made by my son Josh, who’s 15. Here’s what he made up: Roses are red, violets are blue You might be 40 but you look 22 Yeah, he’s a liar, but he loves me (and if you ever need a self-esteem lift, just talk to Josh, he’s the best at …

5.4.07 from xgcw…don’t go back to sleep!

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, relationships 0 Comments

i used to always say “ignorance is bliss”…i don’t believe it’s true, but i do sometimes wish my eyes hadn’t ever opened to the truth and reality of my life and crazy patterns and true need for God. life was so much easier when i was in denial! of course it wasn’t easier…it stunk, but when i was in denial, i definitely didn’t have to feel as much pain or be as aware of my “stuff” or my desperate need for Jesus’ real help and hope …

9.20.06 from the refuge blog… Is there a Doctor in the Church?

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, the refuge 1 Comment

I am a broken person. I do things I don’t want to do, I struggle with things I think I should be “over” by now, I don’t love the people closest to me the way I long to, I am selfish. I had better be careful or I will self-destruct. I want to be a better lover of God & people. I want to live out what it means to be a child of God. Is there a Doctor in the church? Jesus made very clear …

8.9.06 from the refuge blog…My Love-Hate Thing with Community

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, healing, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 1 Comment

We’ve been spending the past few weeks talking about community at The Refuge. Everyone who knows me knows I love community. I love relationships. I love people connecting with God and each other. I love to see someone who thinks they are unlovable start to feel loved because I remember how much that meant to me a long time ago. But it’s not just a love thing. Please do not think I have some crazy idealistic view of community, thinking it’s a piece of cake to …

7.28.06 from the refuge blog…War Wounds

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, relationships, spiritual formation, the refuge 1 Comment

I have skin cancer. Don’t worry. It’s not serious, but I had to have this thing on my chest removed a few weeks ago. 8 stitches. It’s ugly and I’m stuck with it forever. The worst part is that it was kind of my fault because a weird combination of fear, denial & busyness led me to postpone taking care of it for over 2 years. I know, you are shaking your head. You see, I am really good at taking care of other people and …