wallking wounded: hope for those hurt by church & ministry

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing 9 Comments

It’s been a long while since we’ve hosted a Walking Wounded: Hope for Those Hurt by Church and Ministry, an online course that my dear friend and collaborator, Phyllis Mathis and I created a chunk of years ago to help men and women of all different backgrounds and experiences find their way to greater healing after some kind of church, faith, ministry wound. Really, it’s about grief. About honoring our feelings in a safe space, about hanging out with other people who have different stories but …

healers, bridge builders, table setters, storytellers, law changers, community cultivators.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, healing, incarnational, leadership 3 Comments

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that the United States of America feels like the Divided States of America. The sentiment is strong on all sides. Many defending Donald Trump, his cabinet picks, and the laws being changed, and many others pushing against what just happened in our country in a strong and significant way. Christians are on all sides of the issues, some vehemently supporting the right, with others vehemently supporting the left, with others exiting all-things-faith to find community and connection in …

formation friday: a christmas 2016 prayer

kathyescobar advent & lent, faith shifts, formation friday, healing, incarnational, spiritual formation 2 Comments

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve; my kids are all home, and the older they get the more I realize the treasure of that time. We had our last Christmas party on Wednesday night and I’m beginning to get ready to go into vacation mode! For some weird reason the past few weeks post-election I’ve been coming back to a prayer that I wrote a long time ago here as part of Formation Fridays called A Shifter’s Prayer. It ended up being the last paragraph of Faith Shift: Finding …

hope, my favorite word.

kathyescobar advent & lent, church stuff, down we go, dreams, healing, incarnational, the refuge 2 Comments

If you know me in real life, you know my favorite word is Hope. Refuge friends tease me about it all of the time, and for good reason. I love the word and have written it on my share of rocks over the years. I know hope is dangerous.  It’s vulnerable.  It’s scary. But it is the fuel that keeps us going. No matter how dark it can get, a shred of hope, the tiniest of sparks, the smallest ember, can make a difference, sometimes between …

light, hope, dignity, justice, peace.

kathyescobar down we go, dreams, ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing, incarnational 1 Comment

Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces. ~ Rumi Tomorrow’s Election Day in the USA. Whoa, it’s been a brutal year. The division. The vitriol. The fracturing. The bombardment from every angle on social media. The influx of crazy “news” sources that people think are real. The memes. The comments. The friends and family members we can’t believe are voting this way or that. The fear. The anger. The trauma. The reality of our broken system. But here we are, flawed messy beautiful human …

election trauma.

kathyescobar crazy making, healing 2 Comments

“There are times when the heart, like the canary in the coal mine, breathes in the world’s toxicity and begins to die.” – Parker Palmer Over the weekend in the middle of the night someone stole our Black Lives Matter and Amendment T ( to take the slavery clause out of Colorado’s 13th amendment) yard signs, along with my next-door neighbor’s supporting two local Democrats. Several days ago I was waiting for an appointment and there was a TV on in the room (we don’t have regular …

our codependent relationship with God

kathyescobar church stuff, doesn't really go anywhere else, ex good christian women, healing, identity 10 Comments

Since I entered into recovery a big chunk of years ago, I came face to face with the realities of my co-dependency. As an adult child of an alcoholic, a 2 on the Enneagram, a pastor, and dyed-in-the-wool people pleaser, I pretty much hit codependency on all cylinders! The truth is most of us are codependent in some way, and it’s not just if we’re in relationship with addicts. All our control and addiction issues have their roots in codependency; it’s part of the human condition. Melody …

breaks are good (puppies are too).

kathyescobar blog, healing 5 Comments

A chunk of years ago I started taking a month of blogging in the summer; then it was two months, and for the last few years it’s been three. It’s always been a good decision for my soul. This year, I need it more than ever.  Even though in general I haven’t blogged as much this past season, and my hope of signing off June 1st slipped away with things transitioning at The Refuge. So I decided to wait a little longer. I’m glad I did …