holy week 2017: a cold & broken hallelujah

kathyescobar advent & lent, faith shifts, healing 8 Comments

Today is Holy Saturday, the day between the death of Jesus and tomorrow’s celebration of Resurrection. A day of grief. A day of lament. A day of despair. I know so many grieving right now–loss of parents, jobs, ministries, relationships, health, and a host of other things. Grief is weird, unpredictable, often lonely. I also know a lot of people grieving the loss of church and faith-as-they-knew-it this Easter weekend. This used to be a happy day, but now they dread it. It’s become a disorienting …

holy week 2017: realities of life’s 3 day weekend

kathyescobar advent & lent, faith shifts, healing Leave a Comment

Today is Good Friday and in a little bit I’m heading over to The Refuge for our contemplative Stations of the Cross, Refuge-style. This is an important day that wasn’t a big part of my Christian experience until a chunk of years ago. I was part of churches that, on the whole, focused all their energy on Easter services and doing whatever they possibly could to get more people in the doors that day; they consistently skipped over Good Friday and Holy Saturday completely. I love …

holy week 2017: little pockets of freedom

kathyescobar advent & lent, church stuff, healing, incarnational 2 Comments

It’s Wednesday of Holy Week, and I’m back in Denver after a family wedding in Nevada and visiting my dad in Northern California for a few days. My heart is full. I also had the privilege of getting to hang out with a friend who I met through this blog to talk about all-things-faith-shift before I flew out today. I am always completely awed by people’s tenacity and courage and what it takes to exit unhealthy systems and find their way to freedom.  It’s Passover week …

jezebel, eve, and the baggage we keep carrying.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, faith and politics, friendship, healing, injustice 11 Comments

I was out of the country in Peru last week on a fun spring break adventure with our twins, and when I got back and turned on my computer I saw a flurry of posts related to Vice President Mike Pence’s application of the “Billy Graham Rule.” Never being alone with a woman other than his wife. No lunch, no dinner, no coffee. No nothing alone. Ever. I saw comments on Facebook that were all over the place. Ones that praised his “wisdom” and ones that …

WTF, God?

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing, incarnational 6 Comments

One of my greatest joys is to journey alongside people in their honest relationship with God.  I have yet to encounter someone in spiritual direction who was saying things like “I am feeling so great spiritually!” “I’ve never been this connected to God.” or “I am completely filled up.”  Usually, our conversations are wrestling with disconnection, fear, anger, mistrust, separation, and honestly a lot of questions that start with WTF, God? I understand that a lot of people might be offended by that. Can we really …

broken heart syndrome.

kathyescobar church stuff, healing 17 Comments

I had a little scare last week with my heart. When I called my doctor’s office to tell them what was going on with me, a heaviness in my heart that kept persisting, they told me to go straight to the nearest Urgent Care. I did. My husband was scared when I told him what they said. I was scared when they started doing every test under the sun. But then, test by test, they all came out clear. Physically, my heart was fine. The pain …

formation friday: breathe

kathyescobar formation friday, healing, spiritual formation Leave a Comment

I originally wrote this post for SheLoves Magazine’s December edition, but I thought I’d share it here today  with a few small modifications as so many I know are trying to find their way through hard situations, whether it be politics in the USA that’s trying to wear all the persisters out as quickly as possible or those who are just exhausted and troubled by the life’s realities. Formation Fridays are a series of posts I’ve written over time centered on practice, on tangible ways to …

wallking wounded: hope for those hurt by church & ministry

kathyescobar faith shifts, healing 9 Comments

It’s been a long while since we’ve hosted a Walking Wounded: Hope for Those Hurt by Church and Ministry, an online course that my dear friend and collaborator, Phyllis Mathis and I created a chunk of years ago to help men and women of all different backgrounds and experiences find their way to greater healing after some kind of church, faith, ministry wound. Really, it’s about grief. About honoring our feelings in a safe space, about hanging out with other people who have different stories but …