election trauma.

kathyescobar crazy making, healing 2 Comments

“There are times when the heart, like the canary in the coal mine, breathes in the world’s toxicity and begins to die.” – Parker Palmer Over the weekend in the middle of the night someone stole our Black Lives Matter and Amendment T ( to take the slavery clause out of Colorado’s 13th amendment) yard signs, along with my next-door neighbor’s supporting two local Democrats. Several days ago I was waiting for an appointment and there was a TV on in the room (we don’t have regular …


our codependent relationship with God

kathyescobar church stuff, doesn't really go anywhere else, ex good christian women, healing, identity 10 Comments

Since I entered into recovery a big chunk of years ago, I came face to face with the realities of my co-dependency. As an adult child of an alcoholic, a 2 on the Enneagram, a pastor, and dyed-in-the-wool people pleaser, I pretty much hit codependency on all cylinders! The truth is most of us are codependent in some way, and it’s not just if we’re in relationship with addicts. All our control and addiction issues have their roots in codependency; it’s part of the human condition. Melody …

be grounded rumi

breaks are good (puppies are too).

kathyescobar blog, healing 5 Comments

A chunk of years ago I started taking a month of blogging in the summer; then it was two months, and for the last few years it’s been three. It’s always been a good decision for my soul. This year, I need it more than ever.  Even though in general I haven’t blogged as much this past season, and my hope of signing off June 1st slipped away with things transitioning at The Refuge. So I decided to wait a little longer. I’m glad I did …

hope prevails

transformation hurts.

kathyescobar church stuff, healing, the refuge 4 Comments

Oh, it’s been a brutal week around here and I am just starting to come up for air. Many of you reading already connect on Facebook but I wanted to make sure and share this here, too. In the middle of celebrating The Refuge’s 10 Year Anniversary and many other amazing things that have been happening in our community, there’s been a back story conversation related to gay weddings in the Refuge facility. Even though we settled this years ago, agreeing to be a community that lived …

no body but ours

no body but ours.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational, injustice 7 Comments

A whole lot of years ago, in the 1500’s, St. Teresa of Avila wrote this: Christ Has No Body Christ has no body but yours, No hands, no feet on earth but yours, Yours are the eyes with which he looks Compassion on this world, Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good, Yours are the hands, with which he blesses all the world. Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, Yours are the eyes, you are his body. Christ has no …

you are not a failure

formation friday: you’re not a failure.

kathyescobar formation friday, healing, identity, spiritual formation 1 Comment

It’s the end of Failure Week around here, the last post in this series. I know there’s so much ground we didn’t cover, but this is all I’ve got this round. Today, I wanted to bring back a Formation Friday related to failure (really, it’s Formation Saturday). After this summer blogging break, I am hoping to get back in the groove of more Formation Fridays because I could use them in my own life, a little extra love in the spiritual formation department. There are a lot …

failed relationships

failed relationships.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, relationships 2 Comments

Today’s post is a day late for Failure Week, but no one cares except for me, ha ha. I am trying to wrap up a few things before a blog break but I’ve been in the thick of a lot of hard stuff this week. In the midst of it, I have been thinking so much about failure and how pervasive fear of it can be.  So much has to do with expectations of ourselves, of others, of the forces of the world.  It makes me …

faith is not pass fail

failed faith.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing 9 Comments

Well it’s Failure Week here on the blog. If you are just joining us, so far we had a short overview and focused on failed parenting. Today I want to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart because so many I know have or are experiencing it–failed faith. Just like there’s no such thing as failed parenting, I truly believe there’s never failed faith, either. However, there are many of us who either have–or are currently– experiencing some of these things when it comes …