failed parenting.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, mommydom 5 Comments

Today is Day 2 of Failure Week. I don’t write a bunch about my kids here to honor them; it has always felt really important to me and to them, too, and I never had the luxury of blogging when they were super little and didn’t somehow know what I was saying yet.  However, over time, there have been a few–MOMFB–Making Other Mommies Feel Better, Goodly Parenting, Never Say Never, The Kids are Alright, Faith Shifts: What About the Kids? (more if you look at the category “mommydom”). I …

failure week.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, just because i thought it was fun, leadership 2 Comments

I’ve got a few more weeks before I take my annual break-all-the-rules-of-successful-blogging summer sabbatical. I’m a bit behind this year but will be here for 2 more weeks and then gone until september 1st. This week, I wanted to finish up one blog project I have been trying to get to for almost a year now–Failure Week. Grief Week was a few years ago (5 days on the 5 stages of grief) and I’ve been wanting to spend some extra time focusing on an area that …

the kids are alright.

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, faith shifts, mommydom 13 Comments

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, your Newsfeed has been clogged with pictures of my daughter’s college graduation. Oh, what a beautiful weekend we had in New York City celebrating with family and friends. We are so proud of her! After four years in the Bronx, she is now moving on to dental school in the fall. We have now officially graduated two kids from college and have three more to go! Moments like these always cause me to look back and reflect, to consider …

abuse & christian obstacles to healing.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, out of the darkness 13 Comments

Abuse is rampant, for both women and men. There are so many forms. Emotional. Physical. Sexual. (Often not mentioned in certain lists: Spiritual) The statistics are so painful. (Please, read these) Millions and millions. Each minute of every day. Getting out of an abusive relationship is brutally hard. The ingredients are toxic and paralyzing–the potential consequences of more abuse if others know, fear & shame, the economic realities of leaving, fear & shame, the kids & other family ties, fear & shame, no-self-worth, fear & shame. …

equality matters.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long way to go. Please know that when I write about women’s equality, I’m also not just talking about “church” (although I do believe we’re supposed to be the best reflection of …

say something.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I don’t want them to ___________ (you fill in the blank). These are just a short list of things that often rattle around in our head about speaking up when we notice …

underneath anger.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing, mommydom, relationships, synchroblog 14 Comments

This month’s Synchroblog is centered on Anger. Here’s the description: “Anger sometimes has a bad reputation. Some of us have been taught that anger is a negative emotion, something that should be squeezed out, prayed through, avoided.  Others of us have been raised in families and churches that never allowed for expression of anger so we have no concept of what “healthy anger” even means.  What do we think God thinks of our anger? What do we think of it?  What are you learning about it? …

unloading church baggage & moving forward.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing 9 Comments

In 2011, we hosted a live event at The Refuge called Walking Wounded: Hope for Those Hurt By Church. It was a great gathering of about 50 people, some from Denver, some from out of state–a place to laugh and grieve and gather some hope for the fallout of church and ministry pain. The next year, my friend Phyllis Mathis and I created a four week online course for people to access a more intentional space to walk through some of the big stuff that keeps …