equality matters.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long way to go. Please know that when I write about women’s equality, I’m also not just talking about “church” (although I do believe we’re supposed to be the best reflection of …

say something.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I don’t want them to ___________ (you fill in the blank). These are just a short list of things that often rattle around in our head about speaking up when we notice …

underneath anger.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing, mommydom, relationships, synchroblog 14 Comments

This month’s Synchroblog is centered on Anger. Here’s the description: “Anger sometimes has a bad reputation. Some of us have been taught that anger is a negative emotion, something that should be squeezed out, prayed through, avoided.  Others of us have been raised in families and churches that never allowed for expression of anger so we have no concept of what “healthy anger” even means.  What do we think God thinks of our anger? What do we think of it?  What are you learning about it? …

unloading church baggage & moving forward.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing 9 Comments

In 2011, we hosted a live event at The Refuge called Walking Wounded: Hope for Those Hurt By Church. It was a great gathering of about 50 people, some from Denver, some from out of state–a place to laugh and grieve and gather some hope for the fallout of church and ministry pain. The next year, my friend Phyllis Mathis and I created a four week online course for people to access a more intentional space to walk through some of the big stuff that keeps …

church bingo: before & after our faith unravels

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, faith shifts, just because i thought it was fun 7 Comments

I got a funny email from a friend a while back about checking out a new church after a radical faith shift.  It’s always so brave to explore new possibilities and take the plunge and see what’s out there. The part that made me laugh the most was when he said he felt guilty for liking the coffee bar!  Oh, the joys of our church baggage. It made me think of the things that used to matter to some of us when it comes to church …

lifting heads, straightening backs.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, healing, identity, women in ministry 13 Comments

Sometimes I get calls from women asking for help to get out of an abusive relationship. Skittish, scared, and filled with shame, they reach out and share their story. It’s so brave. Some are rich, some are poor. Some are educated, others have never graduated from high school. Some have kids while others don’t. Some have husbands, others never have. Some are leaders, others are followers. Some call Jesus their God, others lost their faith a long time ago. Their circumstances might be different but their …

outsiders.

kathyescobar advent & lent, church stuff, down we go, ex good christian women, faith shifts, jesus is cool 32 Comments

One of the things that has been the hardest about shifting faith is moving from being an “insider” to an “outsider.” I have always been one of those people who looks like an insider, like someone who fits in. The truth is that underneath a lot of that has been a prevailing feeling that somehow, I just really don’t. The more I’ve talked to people of the years, the more clear I am that we can be lonely in a group or as part of the …

things that make me stand on tables & go a little crazy

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, injustice, rants 31 Comments

A few days ago I had a really interesting & unexpected thing happen to me that stirred up a lot of big feelings.  It’s too complicated to go into all of the details, but the essence is this–I criss-crossed with the realities of what happens when conservative Christian power intersects with the work of standing alongside the marginalized and oppressed in more than just words. This wasn’t something related to The Refuge or even me personally but as I heard the story of what happens when some …