igniting the ember: emerging women finding their voice

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, women in ministry 11 Comments

“women have been taught that for us, the earth is flat, and that if we venture out, we will fall off the edge”  – author unknown i’ve discovered the world is round. i have survived my venture out (so far) and although it feels like i have fallen off the cliff, i have found there really is solid ground beneath me.  it was fun facilitating the workshop “emerging women finding their voice” at the new conspirators conference in seattle last weekend.  as i mentioned before, julie clawson, who moderates the …

more than the mess

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, spiritual formation 9 Comments

  the picture on the left are cups are on my bathroom counter.  and no, they’re not for some science experiment i’m doing with my kids.  they’ve been there for over a week. jose has been seeing how many days it will take before i actually do something about them and the funny thing is that i just keep adding to them.  the dirty coffee cups & empty water glasses are multiplying right before our very eyes. and the fuzz, well, it’s starting to grow.   i don’t know …

MOMFB – making other mommies feel better

kathyescobar ex good christian women, mommydom 15 Comments

 ah, in this picture we look so neat and tidy.  all my little j’s–jared, jamison, josh, jose (who helped create these beautiful babes), julia, and jonas.  so squared away.  so on top of life.  looks can be deceiving.  don’t for a minute think that a 10 second snapshot captures reality.  just take one step into  my house unannounced.  ask my kids.  ask jose. ask my friends from the refuge. pictures lie.  i love our life. i am happy.  yes, i wish i had someone who could help …

5.4.07 from xgcw…don’t go back to sleep!

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, relationships 0 Comments

i used to always say “ignorance is bliss”…i don’t believe it’s true, but i do sometimes wish my eyes hadn’t ever opened to the truth and reality of my life and crazy patterns and true need for God. life was so much easier when i was in denial! of course it wasn’t easier…it stunk, but when i was in denial, i definitely didn’t have to feel as much pain or be as aware of my “stuff” or my desperate need for Jesus’ real help and hope …

3.19.07 from xgcw….get over it

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, ex good christian women, fundamentalism, rants, the refuge 5 Comments

i had someone tell me last week that i needed to “get over it.” i need to get over my hurt and pain related to the white, suburban evangelical megachurch and move on. i read the words several times and wanted to scream and shout at the top of my lungs “don’t you think i want to, you idiot!” of course I want to get over it. do you think i want to waste any more time feeling the pain of this wound? of spending any …

2.25.07 from xgcw….disapproval

kathyescobar ex good christian women 5 Comments

standing up against disapproval is one of the most difficult things to do when we are “good christian women.” disapproval from others somehow means that we are not doing a good enough job, we must be doing something “wrong”, and that rocking the boat in any way, shape, or form is somehow “bad.” it is interesting that for some confident people, it’s no big deal to let down others. they are able to have balance and clarity and see a situation for what it is. me, …

1.27.07 from xgcw….do you identify?

kathyescobar ex good christian women 6 Comments

note 7.25.08:  this is from a blog i started last year in 2007 for a group of “ex good christian women” friends.  it used to just be a private blog but when i started the carnival i shut it down & just put a few of the posts here. okay, let’s just be honest, sometimes “the church” has messed with our heads. i am not saying all churches, all christians, all religious systems are screwed up because that would be too drastic (although, scale through all …