“auntie kathy, are you sure it’s not wrong for you to be a pastor?”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, dreams, ex good christian women, fundamentalism, healing, women in ministry 61 Comments

well here’s a sincere email i received last week from my 14 year old niece.  i got permission from her to share it on this blog so don’t feel like i’m violating some private conversation.   i thought it was too important, telling, to just keep between her and i and if it helps challenge us a little, well, it’s worth it.   i know you will all honor and respect her for her question.  she goes to a conservative christian school: hey auntie kathy. i was just wondering what your input …

unbind her

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, healing, the refuge 16 Comments

i spent the past couple of days in downtown denver at a women’s event that some dear women i know put together called woman come forth. i run in weird diverse circles. i have my wild and crazy emerging friends, my conservative evangelical friends, my don’t-go-to-church-and-don’t-plan-to-anymore friends, my recovery friends, my eclecic refuge friends, my i-have-had-bad-experiences-with-christians-but-i-kind-of-like-you friends, and a hodge-podge of other lovely people God has brought across my path.   i am very thankful for the richness it all brings.  but sometimes it’s all kind of comical! this event …

the tortoise and the hare

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, spiritual formation, the carnival in my head, the refuge 8 Comments

remember this aesop’s fable?  with five kids i have read my share over the years…the stories are really timeless and profound in more ways than one.   a few weeks ago the story of the tortoise and the hare came back onto my scan, and i have been thinking about it a lot.   at our house of refuge jose asked us to look through magazines and pull out pictures that represented some form of a check in, something about where we were spiritually, emotionally, whatever.   the picture i was most …

faith & politics: my journey

kathyescobar crazy making, doesn't really go anywhere else, ex good christian women, fundamentalism 8 Comments

imagine that?   for years, honestly, i acted like i was 100% sure that God was a republican (a great quote i was reminded of this week by anne lamott:   “we can be pretty certain we’ve created God in our own image if he hates all the same people we do.” thanks, jonathan)  oh, how that was me!  please, anyone i have harmed or offended with my one-mindedness in years-past, forgive me.  trust me, i have already made my share of amends. i confess, for a pretty long season i was weirdly entrenched …

igniting the ember: emerging women finding their voice

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, women in ministry 11 Comments

“women have been taught that for us, the earth is flat, and that if we venture out, we will fall off the edge”  – author unknown i’ve discovered the world is round. i have survived my venture out (so far) and although it feels like i have fallen off the cliff, i have found there really is solid ground beneath me.  it was fun facilitating the workshop “emerging women finding their voice” at the new conspirators conference in seattle last weekend.  as i mentioned before, julie clawson, who moderates the …

more than the mess

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, spiritual formation 9 Comments

  the picture on the left are cups are on my bathroom counter.  and no, they’re not for some science experiment i’m doing with my kids.  they’ve been there for over a week. jose has been seeing how many days it will take before i actually do something about them and the funny thing is that i just keep adding to them.  the dirty coffee cups & empty water glasses are multiplying right before our very eyes. and the fuzz, well, it’s starting to grow.   i don’t know …

MOMFB – making other mommies feel better

kathyescobar ex good christian women, mommydom 15 Comments

 ah, in this picture we look so neat and tidy.  all my little j’s–jared, jamison, josh, jose (who helped create these beautiful babes), julia, and jonas.  so squared away.  so on top of life.  looks can be deceiving.  don’t for a minute think that a 10 second snapshot captures reality.  just take one step into  my house unannounced.  ask my kids.  ask jose. ask my friends from the refuge. pictures lie.  i love our life. i am happy.  yes, i wish i had someone who could help …

5.4.07 from xgcw…don’t go back to sleep!

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, relationships 0 Comments

i used to always say “ignorance is bliss”…i don’t believe it’s true, but i do sometimes wish my eyes hadn’t ever opened to the truth and reality of my life and crazy patterns and true need for God. life was so much easier when i was in denial! of course it wasn’t easier…it stunk, but when i was in denial, i definitely didn’t have to feel as much pain or be as aware of my “stuff” or my desperate need for Jesus’ real help and hope …