5 things for 50.

kathyescobar ex good christian women, healing, identity, the refuge 13 Comments

I turned 50 on Mother’s Day. 5-0. Half a century. 5 decades. For all you young people reading, you’re like 50 is o-l-d. For all you 50’s and up reading, you’re like “quit complaining.” I’m not complaining, really. It’s just a weird feeling and the 40’s did feel younger! Jose and my friends threw me an amazing dance party at The Refuge, and it truly was the best way to ring in a new decade. I haven’t had much time or head space to write, as …

there are lots of ways to mother (and the world sure needs it right now)

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, healing, incarnational, leadership, mommydom, women in ministry 0 Comments

It’s Mother’s Day in the USA today, the time where a bunch of women feel special and extra-loved, and another group of women often don’t. Like so many other holidays, many who feel great about it  sometimes forget that there are others who are aching. Church is extra sucky if they make all the mothers stand up and get a flower and you’re the one still sitting. In divorced families, the reality of what’s been lost creeps up.  Others have lost their mothers or significant women in …

resurrecting.

kathyescobar advent & lent, ex good christian women, faith shifts, healing, spiritual formation 0 Comments

Today is Resurrection Sunday (and it’s also my son’s 21st birthday!). It’s a day where we tell the Easter story and Jesus risen from the tomb and remember that out of the death and darkness, hope and new life emerge. Despite many shifts in faith over the years, I am still thankful for resurrection and that without the Friday and Saturday of Jesus’ story, Sunday means nothing. Without death and suffering, there is no joy. Our past is always part of our future. Our stories are …

jezebel, eve, and the baggage we keep carrying.

kathyescobar equality, ex good christian women, faith and politics, friendship, healing, injustice 11 Comments

I was out of the country in Peru last week on a fun spring break adventure with our twins, and when I got back and turned on my computer I saw a flurry of posts related to Vice President Mike Pence’s application of the “Billy Graham Rule.” Never being alone with a woman other than his wife. No lunch, no dinner, no coffee. No nothing alone. Ever. I saw comments on Facebook that were all over the place. Ones that praised his “wisdom” and ones that …

rising together.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, incarnational, injustice, women in ministry 0 Comments

Today is International Women’s Day. You all know I am a passionate advocate for women and write about it all the time here. Our equality is all tied up together. Unless we’re all free, none of us are free, and it’s important to always remind ourselves that well behaved women won’t change the church (or history). Equality is a verb.  The boats need to be rocked, and the path forward means we will have to educate, advocate, agitate, and that usually always comes with a cost. Some of you …

roots, resilience, resistance.

kathyescobar dreams, ex good christian women, identity, incarnational, injustice 2 Comments

Today is the day after the inauguration of Donald Trump as the President of the United States of America. Some people I know are rejoicing, glad to have the country back in “God’s hands.” Most all of the folks in the circles that I live and work are heavy, burdened, grieving, sick-to-their-stomachs, and aching for the reality of what this means for so many on the margins. Today is also the day that there are women’s marches across the country, and it’s beautiful to see so …

my unsolicited advice

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, incarnational, injustice, leadership, women in ministry 2 Comments

For almost 9 years I’ve been writing my guts out about church and faith and life and all my dreams of what could be. Despite the vulnerability and what it’s cost me in certain circles, I’m inspired by the incredible people I’ve met over the years through this blog who are changing systems that need changing, who have moved the needle on equality and justice and greater-emotional-health in the churches and ministries and organizations they are part of. You keep me in! Yet, as much as I’ve …

when our deepest values get violated.

kathyescobar crazy making, down we go, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, injustice 1 Comment

Post-election I’ve been thinking a lot about Nonviolent Communication. I’m not the best at it but I try. It’s been incredibly helpful for me as a tool to notice how unhelpful jackal words are in building connection between people (and how much they’ve been used since November 9th and oh, I’ve said my fair share) and also how underneath all of my feelings are needs. For me, another way I describe needs are core values–values that guide and fuel and propel and compel me. That connect me …