may we clear away these rocks and stones

abuse & christian obstacles to healing.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, out of the darkness 8 Comments

Abuse is rampant, for both women and men. There are so many forms. Emotional. Physical. Sexual. (Often not mentioned in certain lists: Spiritual) The statistics are so painful. (Please, read these) Millions and millions. Each minute of every day. Getting out of an abusive relationship is brutally hard. The ingredients are toxic and paralyzing–the potential consequences of more abuse if others know, fear & shame, the economic realities of leaving, fear & shame, the kids & other family ties, fear & shame, no-self-worth, fear & shame. …

on earth as it is in heaven

equality matters.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 12 Comments

“Are we still talking about women’s equality in the church? Really? In the year 2016?” Once in a while I have someone say that to me. The answer is always the same: “Yes, unfortunately, we still are.” Because while we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to celebrate, we’ve still got a long way to go. Please know that when I write about women’s equality, I’m also not just talking about “church” (although I do believe we’re supposed to be the best reflection of …

speak love say something

say something.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 18 Comments

Oh, it’s not worth rocking the boat about. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re doing the best they can. They aren’t going to change anyway. I don’t want them to think bad of me. I don’t want them to think I’m bitchy or petty. I don’t want them to stop respecting me. I don’t want them to ___________ (you fill in the blank). These are just a short list of things that often rattle around in our head about speaking up when we notice …

listen love learn

important words from parents of LGBQT kids: what hurts, what helps

kathyescobar equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational, injustice, what it's like 6 Comments

I had the privilege of spending a few days with an online support group for moms of LGBQT kids of all ages. What a gift! These are amazing women of hope and courage. As we all know, many strains of Christianity have not been kind to these kids and parents. The judgment, the ostracizing, the scripturizing has been extremely painful and has catalyzed many of them to experience painful (and freeing!) faith shifts. I loved listening to how people are finding their way, and a lot …

henri nouwen show not tell

Christian show or tell?

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational 16 Comments

I recently had a brief and good but challenging conversation with a friend about Christian belief. It wasn’t a long drawn out one, but as they were explaining the ins and outs of why a particular belief was important, I could feel my body tense up and my heart shut down. The only thing I could think of was “I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to …

the way toward something new

8 ways men can advocate for women’s equality.

kathyescobar church stuff, dreams, equality, friendship, incarnational, leadership, the refuge 15 Comments

Yesterday I had the privilege of sharing on a panel alongside 4 other female pastors & leaders in a room filled with about 25 male pastors & leaders in Denver. Most everyone had evangelical roots, and while some pastored churches others were leading nonprofits and various ministries in town. There was only one purpose: to listen to what it was like to be a woman in ministry.  We had told our stories several months before in a similar forum, but last time the number of women …

privilege is not a dirty word

“privilege” doesn’t have to be a dirty word.

kathyescobar equality, healing, incarnational, injustice 7 Comments

“Privilege exists when one group has something of value that is denied to others simply because of the groups they belong to, rather than because of anything they’ve done or failed to do.” ~Peggy McIntosh The word “privilege” is being tossed around a lot these days, for good reason. There is a cry for justice, for equality, for systemic change in big ways right now and there’s no way around talking about privilege as part of the conversation. Some people say it doesn’t exist (don’t get me …

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walls ruin.

kathyescobar equality, incarnational, injustice 6 Comments

I just got back from Israel, Palestine, and Jordan. Every time I write Israel and Palestine, I feel a little weird because most people just think it’s “Israel.” For a long time, I did, too. Now, I never say it any other way. The Holy Land is Israel and Palestine (and Jordan, too). Until a few years ago, I didn’t understand what was meant by “Palestinians” beyond what I had heard on the news related to terrorism. Then I started reading more about the history of …