the great loneliness.

kathyescobar down we go, faith shifts 37 Comments

Recently I was at a very large gathering of men and women around the US and abroad who deeply care about many similar things I care about. I love much of their work. But as I sat in the opening session and listened to the music and the prayers and the language and the rah-rah I felt this overwhelming sense of deep, weird, in-my-bones loneliness. In the past, the “container” would have really resonated. I would have liked the songs and the wow and the excitement …

oh, conferences-schmonferences

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, leadership 15 Comments

I’m not a huge fan of Christian leadership conferences. They have their place. I have met some wonderful people at gatherings over the years, and heard some really excellent messages here and there. I have been a participant. I have been a speaker. I have been a workshop presenter. I have been an I-think-I’ll-just-stay-out-in-the-lobby-and-talk-to-my-friends-because-that-will-be-more-meaningful attendee. I have paid to go. I have been paid to go. I have gone by myself. I have gone with a group. I have checked my email and Facebook the entire …

human connection.

kathyescobar down we go, friendship, healing, incarnational, spiritual formation 6 Comments

Some of you may have already seen this excellent video that points to a recent study that confirms what so many have known intuitively–the root of all addictions is disconnection. It’s really worth the time to watch it and reminds me of what one of my favorite theologian-practictioners in the whole-wide-world, Jean Vanier, has been saying for a long, long time:  “We human beings are all fundamentally the same. We all belong to a common, broken humanity. We all have wounded, vulnerable hearts. Each one of …

power’s resistance to the uncomfortable.

kathyescobar advent & lent, down we go, incarnational, jesus is cool 2 Comments

This time of year I always think of how much I love the Christmas story. Not the neat and tidy shiny story that often gets told and is depicted on Christmas cards and all kinds of slogans, but the real story that is underneath it. The story of God coming into the world in such a subversive, unexpected way. The story that doesn’t make sense and involves ordinary people who step into a complicated story and have to live with all the consequences. The story that reminds us …

Christian show or tell?

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, equality, faith shifts, healing, incarnational 16 Comments

I recently had a brief and good but challenging conversation with a friend about Christian belief. It wasn’t a long drawn out one, but as they were explaining the ins and outs of why a particular belief was important, I could feel my body tense up and my heart shut down. The only thing I could think of was “I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to …

“we want more meat…”

kathyescobar crazy making, down we go, rants, spiritual formation 8 Comments

So far, we’ve covered “But God says…” and “I’m not like those people” over the past few weeks (I’m moving slow; it’s been nutty around here this fall). Today is the last one in this series, at least for now, and is a phrase that I have heard for at least 20 years now (and have said many times myself way back when)–“I really want more meat.” I wrote about it a long time ago in a posted called Meat Lovers Beware! Our Taste Buds Have Been Contaminated …

“i’m not like those people”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, incarnational, rants 12 Comments

I love what “but God says…” stirred up! Here’s the second installment of three phrases that really bug me for all kinds of reasons beyond just nitpicking-ness. Years ago when I first started in healing ministry, one of the biggest obstacles I encountered wasn’t within the groups I was in or led. Those were easy; sure, the amount of pain and honesty and struggle in the room was hard but the people in them were so beautiful and brave that it far outweighed it. The push …

grace jealousy.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, faith shifts, healing, identity 19 Comments

I started writing this post over three years ago but never got very far. However, this thought has come back to me a lot over the past several weeks I thought I’d finish this half-baked thought. Plus, today’s my birthday and I have been a bit nostalgic, thinking of the things I wish I had learned earlier, the things I’m so grateful I’m learning now, the things I am willing to stand on tables for, and the things that I just don’t have the energy for …