doesn’t really go anywhere else
of logs and stones
“let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” john 8:7
“why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” luke 6:41
“do to others as you would have them do to you.” luke 6:31
* * * * *
i have been reflecting a lot about these words from Jesus this week in light of our conversation about equality.
i think they are possibly the least-applied-passages-that-could-actually-change-the-church in the Bible.
honestly, it’s a little comical, how much time and energy has been spent picking apart passages about homosexuality, of which there are few, and women in leadership in church, of which they are even fewer. book after book and blog after blog have been written about those ones, that’s for sure.
i wonder how come we prefer those to Jesus’ powerful words in the sermon on the mount? how we’d much rather talk about who’s right & who’s wrong than live out the beatitudes? how we’d much rather spend time & energy defending what’s a sin and what’s not a sin than feeding the hungry or loving the lonely?
umm, i’m pretty sure of that answer (and i’m not certain of much): it’s a helluva lot easier.
laying down stones, worrying about our own logs & treating others how we long to be treated is some seriously heavy lifting. one of the things i love the most about the 12 steps & recovery is that people are focused on our own stuff, not someone else’s. one of the most important rules of the process is to stick with our own struggles, our own hopes, our own work and do what we can to stay on our side of the street as best we can.
it’s really quite beautiful. and freeing.
and really hard to do in human skin that loves to control.
control is a way to protect ourselves, to distract ourselves from the bigger work of looking at our own painful patterns that keep robbing us of life, of love.
but offering ourselves in humility is what Jesus told us we needed to do–to worry about our own logs instead of anyone else’s. to worry about the inside of our cups not the outside. to offer mercy instead of sacrifices to satisfy the law. to love our neighbor instead of judge our neighbor.
my theory is we’d much rather talk theology and ministry theory than be spiritually transformed ourselves. it’s a great distraction.
spiritual and personal transformation is painful. loving our neighbor is easier said than done. loving God & ourselves, sometimes even harder. reading blogs & defending positions is a piece of cake. looking at the logs in our own eyes–pride & control & ego & self-protection & a whole-bunch-of-other-character-defects–isn’t nearly as fun as defending a couple of Bible verses to the bitter end.
i also wonder for all who love using the Bible in every conversation, how come not much time is spent on passages that challenge us on greed? or power and control? or comfort and pride? or sacrifical love? or humility?
those ones aren’t nearly as fun to rattle on about because they are seriously convicting in our own lives, not just the lives of others.
i get the irony here of me being a hypocrite, of pointing the finger, of throwing stones in a blog post but that’s about not doing that. and i guess in this moment i would say “yep, i often am”; but i’m being convicted, too.
i can’t help but think that the world is crying out for hope while we’re talking about theology.
people are starving while we’re feeding on blog debates.
women & children are being violated while we’re haggling over whether a woman should be called “director” or “pastor.”
refrigerators are empty & electricity is getting turned off for people while we’re giving money to pay for flat screen TV’s.
if we layed down our stones and worried about the sin in our own lives, i have a feeling we’d be having radically different conversations out here.
if we tended to the forest in our own eye and didn’t give the speck in our brother’s another glance, i have a feeling we’d be plenty busy.
i think Jesus told us these important words for a reason. he knew we’d much rather throw stones & worry about others’ specks than be radically transformed.
the church has so much it can learn from the 12 steps and the incredible wisdom of the beatitudes. they embody an attitude of humility & mercy & meekness & purity of heart instead of an attitude of pride & judgment & control & division & finger pointing.
they help us lay down our stones.
they help us focus on our own logs.
they help us let go of needing to be in control or be “right.”
they help us be set free.
free to follow Jesus instead of defend Jesus.
free to learn instead of have all the answers.
free to listen instead of talk.
free to love instead of hate.
God, help us lay down our stones & worry about our own big ol’ logs so we–your body here on earth–can be wonderfully transformed.
Read More
well-behaved women won’t change the church
today i have a post up at ed cyzewski’s blog as part of his women in ministry series. it’s called well-behaved women won’t change the church. it was so fun to write this one!
here’s a little excerpt:
Well-behaved women won’t change the church.
We just won’t.
Well-behaved women will keep the wheels spinning on systems that keep working, keep growing, keep moving. We will do good and honorable work that matters and helps people and makes a difference in our communities.
But we won’t change the church.
Some people think the church doesn’t need changing; they’re fine with the way things are because it works for them. But I think there a lot more of us out here than even we ourselves know–passionate women who believe the body of Christ needs much more than a face-lift to become all it’s meant to be.
i hope you’ll go over there to read the entire post & you can share any thoughts there or here.
you can read the other posts in the series here:
also, thank you, everyone, for all of the honesty & hope & stories from this past week through comments & emails & conversations. i look forward to next week, too. if you’re new here or just catching up, the four posts this week centered on rebuilding after deconstructing faith are:
- intro – rebuilding after deconstruction
- 1. honoring the process
- 2. acknowledging losses
- 3. discovering what remains
have a great weekend. much peace & hope, kathy
Read Moreinsecure christians & piles of other posts
hey friends, today i have a guest post up at my friend rachel held evan’s rockin’ blog. it’s called insecure christians so go check it out! you can comment there or here, if you want. i’d love to hear your thoughts as this is a subject near and dear to my heart, and i believe wholeheartedly that “the spiritual journey is to uncover God’s image that was originally placed there.”
also, this weekend i added a link to my blog of posts i wrote for communitas collective over 2009-2011, most of which were never clearly posted on my blog as a separate post. if you’re really bored, check them out here. this fall i have also had a the privilege of being part of sheloves magazine, writing a monthly column fleshing out some of the ideas from down we go. you can check out the posts i’ve written so far here.
the advent synchroblog is this week, too, if you want to be part. we are partnering with christine sine this year, who posts almost every day during the advent season and has an open invitation to participate. her new book–waiting for the light–a collection of advent reflections, is now on sale, too. i’m honored to be part.
happy thanksgiving week to each of you.
thanks for reading! peace, kathy
Read Morea busy bee
ah, life at the escobar house is always an adventure. it’s been a good season for all kinds of refuge community fun, we’re on our last week of summer before the kids go back to school & our wonderful friends from portland–ken loyd & jessica roye from home-pdx in portland just left. they are seriously good for the soul. when the kids go back to school i am always a little excited to get back in our groove of a little less chaos (i know some of you are chuckling right now at my wishful unrealistic thinking!)
meanwhile, i have been too busy to write any blog posts other than a couple here and there in my head while i’m driving, but i have a few pieces to maybe catch up on from verve, which is part of communitas collective and focuses on cultivating new forms of church. check them out & i’d love to hear some of your thoughts.
also, we are continuing to cultivate voca femina and are seeing what can happen when a space is created for women to share their creativity and heart in an open and safe place. issue #11 just posted, and you can check out pictures from our second denver share party on august 3rd here. it was a beautiful evening filled with so many incredible women.
lastly, i’ve been thinking a lot about the carnival and have a few fun ideas i want to try in the fall that i need to quit talking about and actually do. stay tuned. i have been wondering, though, if there are some specific topics or focuses or interviews or or questions that you’d love to see tossed around or more fleshed out. if you have any you want to pass on to me, leave a comment or shoot me an email.
thanks for reading, and soak in as much summer as you can!
Read Morewaking up
i have come to see that america is in danger of losing her soul, something must happen to awaken the dozing soul of america before it is too late.
- martin luther king jr.
what a week it’s been. a historic election that none of us will ever forget. a sense of hope & purpose & we-ness that hasn’t been felt in a long time by so many (i realize there are some that don’t feel that way and i understand, but the reality is that no one can deny that something big & powerful is really happening in our country with people coming together across race & socioeconomics & religion & all kinds of other ways like never before). i myself have been in a bit of a fog, lots happening around here with kids birthdays & refuge parties & crazy escobar chaos and so some of what happened last week is a bit of a delayed reaction for me, and i am just catching up. we finally watched obama’s acceptance speech last night (and mccain’s concession speech as well) and i definitely continue to feel this wonderful sense of excitement about “what could be.”
i know there are so many out there who say that we aren’t supposed to put our hope in a person but solely in God. i agree with them on one level; i am one of the most anti-hero-worship people i know. i do not worship barack obama. i am glad he became our president for all kinds of reasons, but i do not put my hope in him. what i do believe, however, is that for whatever reason something is happening in the hearts of people that can’t be ignored, something beautiful, powerful, hopeful, and risky & scary, too. you see, i think people are actually “waking up.” a stirring is happening, a rumbling, a deep desire for change & equality & diversity & caring for the poor and marginalized & loving our neighbor for reals & coming together in true community & all kinds of other in-the-image-of-God ways.
while there are many out there who have been waking up for a long time, there are also others who have maybe been sleeping for a while, settling for the status quo, letting the tides wash them in and out and not really believing that something might ever shift. maybe a little stuck, paralyzed. maybe a little (or a lot) hopeless. maybe just sure that any real change in their lives, in their churches, in the world, is just too complicated and will require way too much work so why even bother. oh it is so easy to live there. i know it well, that feeling of seeing a hill ahead and having that sense of “there’s no way around this so let’s just forget it now before we even take one step toward it.” so we go back to sleep. the dreams, desires, hopes get re-buried, lying dormant somewhere in the crevices of our heart and we continue our slumber, hoping that they won’t pop back up and cause us more trouble again.
but i think God is in the wake-up business. i think what many are experiencing right now in response to the nation’s election is more than just “obama hype” (although i am sure that some of that is in there). i personally think it is something deeper, a desire for community, change, voice, hope, diversity & unity that God created in people from the very beginning. i think this stirring just happens right now to be reflected in politics instead of the church, that’s all. and personally i am so excited that this awakening is happening in such a tangible way for so many. i think the question that i am asking myself and i hope that others are asking, too, is “what is God waking up in my heart?” is it a call to step into something i’m afraid to step into? is it a call to relationship? healing? community? serving? moving? leading? changing? waiting? is it clear or is it fuzzy? how can i participate in the movement of God in my own life, my own family, my own community? i know people are all over the map on this one, but i do honestly hope that in this next season we become more and more in tune to what God might be waking up inside of us and be willing to act on it. take the risk. step out into some weird and wild wilderness and give something a try no matter how stupid it might feel. do something rather than nothing. grab someone else’s hand and say “i need you to help me stay awake so i don’t let this idea, dream, hope pass me by.”
in all of us is a tendency toward the path of least resistance. and that path will usually lead us to status quo, stagnancy, staying-the-same-because-at-least-we-know-what-it’s-like-here. i think that’s why so many people stay in jobs they don’t like, churches they are bored in, and circumstances that are safe and predictable no matter how unfulfilling. real change takes some pretty serious energy & i am just wondering how many of us, when we are really honest, struggle with believing that God will take good care of us if we step out into the wild unknown & risk our hearts to hope? i know that i sometimes feel that way, no doubt. but one thing i am clinging to, maybe more than ever before, is that life is short. and i want to know that in whatever time God gave me that i was a person who did my best to stay awake & participate in this one short life i was gifted with. i do believe the world gets changed one little life at a time & that the kingdom isn’t something that is impossible to taste, experience, participate in in the here-and-now. it is right before me. right before you. i want to keep waking up to be part of it.
early last year, my friend sage gave me this rumi poem that always lingers:
For years copying other people, I tried to know myself
from within I couldn’t decide what to do.
Unable to see, I heard my name called
and then I walked outside
the breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you
don’t go back to sleep.
you must ask for what you really want
don’t go back to sleep.
people are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
the door is round and open.
don’t go back to sleep.
he had given it to a friend with a bottle of no-doze (i have to admit, it brought back some college flashbacks of those all-nighters & my use of legalized speed). but in all honesty, i think if i had a little gift to give us right now when it comes to any form of “awakening” that God might be stirring up in us, it would be a bottle of no-doze, a reminder to not go back to sleep. to keep opening our minds, our hearts, our hands, our feet, our lives to what could be, whatever that looks like for each one of us, individually, corporately. i’d love to hear some of your thoughts.
Read Moreme + movies = happy
i have said before, i really, really love the movies! it’s a way i connect with God & life and is my most favorite escape. well, this summer i set a little goal to watch as many movies as i possibly could for the next few months and to not feel guilty about it. this will be a more relaxing summer than usual. with 5 kids at home, jose studying for the bar (he takes it on july 31st), and the refuge foundation a little more solid, i decided to limit my schedule a bit and be a little more chill for the next 10 weeks (we have the shortest summer ever, my kids go back to school august 12th this year!). i haven’t really watched TV in years so i decided to make up for all that lost time–from memorial to labor day it’s my summer movie marathon…
here’s what i’ve seen so far. yeah, 11 movies in less than 2 weeks…decadent, fun, and good for my soul!
1. indiana jones & the kingdom of the crystal skull - jose, josh and i snuck away for a morning matinee the day after it came out. we liked it, just good ol’ indiana jones fun
2. the station agent - got the recomendation from brian & tracy. we really liked it. very simple & sweet. our favorite character was joe, the guy who ran the snack truck. his longing for connection & for friendship was the cutest thing. and of course patricia clarkson was amazing. it was a sundance film festival winner & i hope to watch as many of those as i can.
3. prince caspian - we all went to see this one, the whole fam. it was great, loved it. still thinking about so many scenes…better than any sermon or church service hands down.
4. into the wild – wow, that was intense. excellent music, too. i had been wanting to see this for a long time. disturbing on so many levels and such a telling example that without people to share life with, it just doesn’t work.
5. enchanted - cute! amy adams was great and i thought it was so well done for a kids movie.
6. the squid and the whale – oh boy, i would never in a million years tell anyone to watch this movie. it was so disturbing, my jaw was locked and my stomach was tight the entire time and i was yelling out loud at jeff daniels because his character was such a jackass. the unfortunately too-real-and-raw story of a family experiencing divorce and the fallout to the two children was just a little bit too intense for me. i saw it with my dear friend who loves movies like i do and we both felt a little sick. i must admit, the acting was amazing.
7. once - so sweet, so good. only reason it got rated R is for the f word. loved the story & the music and the simplicity and the beautiful story being told underneath.
8. ps: i love you – julia and i watched that together (she’s my 14 year old). i got sucked in. we cried. it made me want to write notes to jose and all my kids just in case i die suddenly…
9. what about bob - ”i need, i need, i need, gimme, gimme, gimme” so funny on so many levels.
10. reign on me - wow, that was a tough one, but i love don cheadle & it really came together. no way not to cry at certain moments when he is telling his story & i think it illustrated the power of community, believing in what others can’t see and staying in even when it’s tough.
11. must love dogs – i always love john cusak & once in a while a good ol’ sappy romantic comedy is just what the doctor ordered.
well, there you have it, my 2 week recap. i am not sure if i should be embarrassed or proud??? i have to say, wish i could have the same commitment to working out & eating right, ha! next up: the namesake, charlie bartlett & we’ll re-watch the great debaters together as a fam. going to see the visitor & iron man at the theater. any great recommendations, send them my way!
Read More
recent comments.