please dear God, help us find a better way to talk about abortion solutions

kathyescobar crazy making, healing, incarnational, injustice, relationships 6 Comments

I always get nervous when I post about this topic because it brings out the trolls. At the same time, I can barely stand how horrid the conversations about abortion seem to go online. I believe in every part of me that there’s a better way to talk about this and find some better solutions together.   The problem is that the conversation is so charged, polarized, and completely unsafe that no one can say anything about it without things going bonkers. We will never get to …

“we want more meat…”

kathyescobar crazy making, down we go, rants, spiritual formation 8 Comments

So far, we’ve covered “But God says…” and “I’m not like those people” over the past few weeks (I’m moving slow; it’s been nutty around here this fall). Today is the last one in this series, at least for now, and is a phrase that I have heard for at least 20 years now (and have said many times myself way back when)–“I really want more meat.” I wrote about it a long time ago in a posted called Meat Lovers Beware! Our Taste Buds Have Been Contaminated …

“i’m not like those people”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, incarnational, rants 12 Comments

I love what “but God says…” stirred up! Here’s the second installment of three phrases that really bug me for all kinds of reasons beyond just nitpicking-ness. Years ago when I first started in healing ministry, one of the biggest obstacles I encountered wasn’t within the groups I was in or led. Those were easy; sure, the amount of pain and honesty and struggle in the room was hard but the people in them were so beautiful and brave that it far outweighed it. The push …

“but God says…”

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, fundamentalism 24 Comments

People who know me well know I have some very clear pet peeves. Some are related to people gulping when they eat (ask my husband) or kids not answering their phone or texting back when we are supposed to meet somewhere (yes, I’m guilty of it, too), and a host of other insignificant things that annoy me. When it comes to faith stuff, I’ve got a few pet peeves, too, things that a lot of people say that drive me crazy. But some of these have a …

grace jealousy.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, faith shifts, healing, identity 19 Comments

I started writing this post over three years ago but never got very far. However, this thought has come back to me a lot over the past several weeks I thought I’d finish this half-baked thought. Plus, today’s my birthday and I have been a bit nostalgic, thinking of the things I wish I had learned earlier, the things I’m so grateful I’m learning now, the things I am willing to stand on tables for, and the things that I just don’t have the energy for …

church cannibalism.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making 10 Comments

I’m going to be blogging a little bit more than usual over the next few weeks because this summer I’ll be taking a break here and I want to get out some of the things that have been swirling around in my head before then. If you get sick of hearing from me now, you can always come back in the summer when there’s nothing new here and read some of these posts then, ha ha. This will be short and sweet, well, not so sweet. …

5 popular ways to shut down conversations about power.

kathyescobar crazy making, equality, incarnational, injustice, relationships 20 Comments

Years ago when I started speaking out against the powers-that-be about “church”, I noticed a pattern. Almost the minute something negative was shared, there would be an immediate defensiveness and responses like “be careful about being divisive”, “the church is made up of imperfect people”, “t’s not all bad”, or “I’ll pray for you.” The basic summary of the responses–“quit saying negative things, we don’t like it.” When the events in Ferguson broke out last year, I was appalled at the comments on Facebook when people from …

a thing or two about narcissism (+ church).

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, injustice, rants, relationships 73 Comments

For a lot of years now I have been journeying with a lot of women who have been in marriages or relationships with narcissists. I’m not talking about plain old self-absorbedness, of which we all have a touch of in different ways. I’m talking about something far more insidious and confusing, too–people with true blue Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or just-plain-real-and-deep narcissism that makes people around them feel crazy, unempowered, abused, and emotionally stripped. Several years ago The Refuge hosted a gathering for women who had …