women, men & church: what hurts, what helps

kathyescobar church stuff, co-pastoring, equality, ex good christian women, leadership, women in ministry 14 Comments

Two fridays ago The Refuge hosted our first “Beyond Seminary: Moving Theology into Practice” gathering. Our amazing friend and seminary professor Dr. Deborah Loyd facilitated and we were challenged, encouraged, inspired in all kinds of ways. There were 25 of us there, 21 women and 4 men. Yep. That was a little hard for me but probably tells the real story. Oh, we have to figure out how to get these conversations more balanced! Real, lasting change will happen when both genders are equally committed to learning and …

the road to equality is paved with friendship.

kathyescobar co-pastoring, equality, friendship, leadership 21 Comments

* this post is part of the february synchroblog.  this month’s topic is centered around cross-gender friendships, a topic i have written a lot about over the years. the link list for other bloggers writing on this topic this month are below so check them out. also, i am excited to be part of this year’s sacred friendship gathering at the end of april in chicago called bold boundaries: exploring friendship between men & women. my dear & fun friend and refuge partner karl wheeler and i …

the christmas story, friendship, and our crazy notions about neat & tidy.

kathyescobar co-pastoring, equality, friendship, healing, incarnational, relationships, the refuge 14 Comments

* today is the december synchroblog.  the topic is advent: tell me a story, places where we see God’s love & hope & peace & joy in the midst. i didn’t really write this post for the synchroblog, but the more i thought about it, the more it does fit.  it’s the crazy unexpected story i keep finding God in over & over again.   * * * * *  i love the christmas story.  it’s such a crazy, wild story.  God, choosing to reveal himself …

charisma, fairy dust and our addiction to kings

kathyescobar church stuff, co-pastoring, leadership, the refuge 27 Comments

last week we hosted a small gathering of co-pastors from 5 different communities/4 different states. it was a lovely, simple time centered on sharing the ups and downs of shared leadership and pastoring these kinds of nutty churches.  i have a lot of respect for people who co-pastor because it is a very unpopular & rare model in a world that loves to follow one strong charismatic leader and is used to being clear on “who’s really in charge.” i have a theory that as humans we …

out of the mouths of co-pastors, final post

kathyescobar church stuff, co-pastoring, leadership 3 Comments

this is the final post in this series on co-pastoring, some thoughts from some friends who are doing the work in their own contexts.  to me, co-pastoring reflects different parts working together the way it’s supposed to be–one’s weakness is another’s strength.  it can come in all different shapes & forms, but the most important distinctive is leaders alongside each other as equals without one person at the top. i know this is a very specialized conversation and not for everyone, but i hope that some …

out of the mouths of co-pastors, part 1 of 2

kathyescobar church stuff, co-pastoring, leadership 2 Comments

one thing i am notorious for is starting projects and taking forever to finish them!  if i have a deadline, i do. but if i don’t (and when it’s your own blog you can do whatever you want to do), i’m toast.  finally, i’d like to finish the co-pastoring series i started last year.  you can review the other posts here: why i believe in co-pastoring some thoughts on co-pastoring, part 1 co-pastoring, a video conversation, part 2 here’s what it looks like here, part 3 …