the unimportant people.

kathyescobar advent & lent, church stuff, down we go, faith shifts, incarnational, jesus is cool 0 Comments

It’s been an extra busy few weeks around here with Refuge life and kids and the juggles of this season, and I haven’t had space to write much. I know this season can be tricky for many, and 2016 seemed to have extra measure of ugliness for a lot of people I know. For me, 2016 was pretty bumpy and I am ending the year tired but also more clear than ever on what I want to dedicate myself to in 2017–advocating alongside others who are on …

my unsolicited advice

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, incarnational, injustice, leadership, women in ministry 2 Comments

For almost 9 years I’ve been writing my guts out about church and faith and life and all my dreams of what could be. Despite the vulnerability and what it’s cost me in certain circles, I’m inspired by the incredible people I’ve met over the years through this blog who are changing systems that need changing, who have moved the needle on equality and justice and greater-emotional-health in the churches and ministries and organizations they are part of. You keep me in! Yet, as much as I’ve …

hope, my favorite word.

kathyescobar advent & lent, church stuff, down we go, dreams, healing, incarnational, the refuge 2 Comments

If you know me in real life, you know my favorite word is Hope. Refuge friends tease me about it all of the time, and for good reason. I love the word and have written it on my share of rocks over the years. I know hope is dangerous.  It’s vulnerable.  It’s scary. But it is the fuel that keeps us going. No matter how dark it can get, a shred of hope, the tiniest of sparks, the smallest ember, can make a difference, sometimes between …

lifeway, power, and the cost of telling the truth.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, ex good christian women, faith shifts, fundamentalism, injustice, leadership 10 Comments

In 2007, I co-authored a spiritual formation tool for evangelical women called Refresh. It was a pretty cool project for that long ago; the entire book was printed in full color, magazine-style, and centered on 10 stories of real women (most of who were friends) with journaling and reflection questions, small group discussion ideas, and different ways to engage with the topics. The stories weren’t the typical Bible study ones but included abuse, adultery, abortion, eating disorders, perfectionism, fear and anxiety, and more (the cover doesn’t …

liberation.

kathyescobar church stuff, equality, ex good christian women, faith shifts, identity, incarnational 1 Comment

lib·er·ate libəˌrāt/ (verb) set (someone) free from a situation, especially imprisonment or slavery, in which their liberty is severely restricted set free, free, release, let out, let go, set/let loose, save, rescue * * * * * I’ve been in a lot of faith shifting conversations these past few weeks; they happen a lot but sometimes there are just more of them close together and I am reminded how many people are displaced not only from “church” but also from the security and certainty of their …

as Christians, this shouldn’t be crazy.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, incarnational 4 Comments

Let’s face it, friends. Christianity is certainly in an interesting season. The divides are great. The mass exodus from “going to church” continues. The number of men and women of all shapes and sizes and ages and experiences now unraveling in their faith keeps growing. The political party leap-frog game from Republican to Democrat or Independent is hotter than ever. I personally think it’s all a good thing. While some see it as a decline in our moral fabric or a complacency or rejection of the scriptures …

what we’re willing to live with.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, equality, faith shifts, incarnational, injustice 16 Comments

I am so sick and saddened by the entire Trump Travesty. Seriously, it is so dignity stripping–that he is even a contender. That multiple Christian leaders have endorsed him. That the Republican party got behind him. That people are wrestling with their “hard choice” (#itsnotahardchoice). That we’d have a debate like that. I am glad things are tipping in a new direction and finally so many people are waking up, speaking out louder, withdrawing their support. However, please remember that up until this point many of …

our codependent relationship with God

kathyescobar church stuff, doesn't really go anywhere else, ex good christian women, healing, identity 10 Comments

Since I entered into recovery a big chunk of years ago, I came face to face with the realities of my co-dependency. As an adult child of an alcoholic, a 2 on the Enneagram, a pastor, and dyed-in-the-wool people pleaser, I pretty much hit codependency on all cylinders! The truth is most of us are codependent in some way, and it’s not just if we’re in relationship with addicts. All our control and addiction issues have their roots in codependency; it’s part of the human condition. Melody …