how glorious a human heart

grace jealousy.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, down we go, faith shifts, healing, identity 10 Comments

I started writing this post over three years ago but never got very far. However, this thought has come back to me a lot over the past several weeks I thought I’d finish this half-baked thought. Plus, today’s my birthday and I have been a bit nostalgic, thinking of the things I wish I had learned earlier, the things I’m so grateful I’m learning now, the things I am willing to stand on tables for, and the things that I just don’t have the energy for …

church cannibalism

church cannibalism.

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making 10 Comments

I’m going to be blogging a little bit more than usual over the next few weeks because this summer I’ll be taking a break here and I want to get out some of the things that have been swirling around in my head before then. If you get sick of hearing from me now, you can always come back in the summer when there’s nothing new here and read some of these posts then, ha ha. This will be short and sweet, well, not so sweet. …

goddamage

Goddamage.

kathyescobar church stuff, faith shifts, fundamentalism, healing, identity, incarnational 13 Comments

The other day I made up a new word without even knowing it. I was hanging out with some of my favorite people in Denver at our spiritual formation-support-group-hanging-with-people-who-understand-how-hard-this-work-in-the-trenches-is, casually talking about the fall-out of controlling ministry practices. In response to one of the comments, I said, “The truth is that just perpetuates God damage.” I guess I said it kind of quickly and so it came out “Goddamage.” Goddamage. Say it fast. Dammit it, I am so sick of Goddamage! Seriously. There are many people …

what are you for

what we’re for.

kathyescobar church stuff, down we go, dreams, equality, faith shifts, healing, the refuge 11 Comments

There’s a new church plant in my neighborhood at our local school. They moved here with a whole bunch of people from another state, started two services out of the chute, have mailed us multiple big expensive postcards, put up flags and signs lining the street, and even have parking attendants in bright orange jackets ready to guide you into your parking spot . I have seen them every Sunday morning because that’s a time I usually for sure take a walk. I told Jose the …

in every human being jean vanier

the simple, messy, complicated art of friendship.

kathyescobar advent & lent, church stuff, friendship, healing, incarnational, injustice, spiritual formation 5 Comments

Today is Maundy Thursday, the night of the Last Supper and Jesus reminding the disciples that they were no longer his servants but his friends (John 15:15). That receiving was just as important as giving. That they needed to “do as I have done for you” (John 13:15). A few weeks ago I had the privilege of going on a Learning and Listening Trip to Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota. Some of you may already be familiar with it and the realities of the …

image of bingo game

church bingo: before & after our faith unravels

kathyescobar church stuff, ex good christian women, faith shifts, just because i thought it was fun 6 Comments

I got a funny email from a friend a while back about checking out a new church after a radical faith shift.  It’s always so brave to explore new possibilities and take the plunge and see what’s out there. The part that made me laugh the most was when he said he felt guilty for liking the coffee bar!  Oh, the joys of our church baggage. It made me think of the things that used to matter to some of us when it comes to church …

despite the thorns there's still so much beauty

so much beauty despite the thorns.

kathyescobar church stuff, incarnational, jesus is cool 10 Comments

Well, that was kind of wild. My little post on narcissism and the church was the #2 most-hit blog post in carnival history (#1 is ex-good-christian-women, ha ha).  I am so glad because it means that people’s eyes are being opened to this issue in church culture. Hopefully we will actually let what we see guide us toward different choices about who we give our money, time, and talents to. Meanwhile, I have felt this sense of deep sadness the past few days. So much mis-used power. …

a thing or two about narcissism (+ church).

kathyescobar church stuff, crazy making, faith shifts, injustice, rants, relationships 59 Comments

For a lot of years now I have been journeying with a lot of women who have been in marriages or relationships with narcissists. I’m not talking about plain old self-absorbedness, of which we all have a touch of in different ways. I’m talking about something far more insidious and confusing, too–people with true blue Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or just-plain-real-and-deep narcissism that makes people around them feel crazy, unempowered, abused, and emotionally stripped. Several years ago The Refuge hosted a gathering for women who had …