“never say never”

kathyescobar ex good christian women, faith shifts, just because i thought it was fun, mommydom, synchroblog 27 Comments

if you could turn back time

june’s synchroblog is centered on “if i could tell myself one thing.”  what advice we would give ourselves if we could go back 20 years? what do we know now that we wish we knew then? what is one thing that would have been helpful to consider? come back and check out the link list that i’ll post later tonight or tomorrow.

when i first saw the topic, i thought of a few off the top of my head: “don’t take yourself so seriously”, “who gives a %($*!&!&! what people think of you,” “take more naps,” “be kind to yourself” and “whatever you do, don’t read the latest and greatest parenting magazines, they will just make you feel bad.”

but the one that rose to the top and stuck with me the most, especially this week with all 5 of my kids home from college and life is “never say never.”

“never say never.”

oh goodness gracious, way back when i said “i would never…we would never…” all the time. 

20 years ago i was so certain i’d never….

send my kids to public school

work full-time while the kids were still home

let my kids watch this TV show or go to that movie or read certain books

let my kids celebrate halloween

feed my family cereal for dinner on a regular basis

scream and yell at my husband like a crazy-out-of-control-and-obviously-not-following-God’s-ways person

expose our family to “the world”

question anything-about-the-Bible

not support the work of focus on the family and the family research council

vote for a democrat

stop listening only to Christian music

be uncertain at all about what i believed

yep, that was me a long time ago. i know it’s hard to believe now, but it’s true.  i used to be in a much different place.

it makes me laugh when i look back. but my husband and i were sincere; we really truly believed that if we did some of these things, we’d be making a grave mistake and our kids and faith would potentially be ruined.

if there was one thing i regret it’s just that we were so afraid.

but at the same time, i also respect it was part of our story and a season of our faith that had its good and bad like pretty much everything else in life.

but 22 years into parenting, 24 years into marriage, and a whole lot of years into a weird and wild faith, trust me, i don’t say “never” anymore. 

what word(s) of advice would you give to your 20-year-ago self? i’d love to hear what comes to mind.


ps: our “an evangelical and a progressive walk into the same church…” conversation was so fun.  here are a few pix and reflections from facebook. 

here is the link list to other bloggers looking back 20 years and offering their insights: