there are lots of ways to mother.

kathyescobar healing, identity, incarnational, mommydom, relationships 11 Comments

there are lots of ways to mother

it’s mother’s day weekend in the USA, the time where a bunch of women feel special and extra-loved, and another group of women often don’t.  like so many other holidays, many who feel great about it  sometimes forget that there are others who really struggle this particular weekend. church is extra sucky if they make all the mothers stand up and get a flower and you’re the one still sitting. in divorced families, the reality of what’s been lost creeps up.  others have lost their mothers or significant women in their life and it’s another year of grief.

i promise, i’m not trying to ruin the holiday for anyone, really!  as a mom of 5, it’s not a half bad weekend for me. i love all the spoilage.  but i feel really passionate about making sure we don’t equate mother’s day with only birthing babies.

having children often becomes the ultimate pinnacle of womanhood, especially christian womanhood.  this pushes an awful lot of women to the margins and dishonors all that we were created to be beyond making babies.

sure, having babies is one way to mother, but there are countless other ways, too.

all women are mothers.

it’s how God made us. it looks different for each of us and we have to break down the crazy stereotypes and ways we’ve been boxed in, fenced in, and limited in order to get to the essence of our awesomeness as women.  just like there are lots of ways to love God,  there are lots of ways to mother, to bring things to life, to create, to nurture, to build, to protect.  

women mother when we: 

call out God’s image in someone.

cultivate art & words & beauty. 

advocate for another. 

build friendships and life-giving relationships.

midwife spiritual shifts.

make new families who come from our wombs & orphanages & foster care

influence change.

hug a friend.

listen to a friend. 

weep with those who weep.

rejoice with those who rejoice.

start something. build something. create something. 

protect what’s good. 

lend hope to someone who needs to borrow it.  

inspire dreams & new ideas.

nurture pockets of justice & love & freedom in small or big ways. 

lead teams.

care for our coworkers, our neighbors, someone else’s child

care for parents.

care for ourselves.

yeah, women are awesome–strong, tender, wise, beautiful, compassionate, creative, powerful, brave, messy.   kids, no kids, single, married, gay, straight, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, divorced, widowed, young, old–it makes no difference.

the one thing we have in common is that we all somehow mother.

and i’m really glad there are lots of ways to do that.  

that’s fun to celebrate.  i hope we all tell a woman today how you are grateful for her mothering.

happy mother’s day!