formation friday: security

kathyescobar formation friday, spiritual formation 22 Comments

blog formation friday securityi am kind of liking this formation friday thing because it causes me to think about God & not just rant and rave every week! i know it’s not for everybody but for right now it’s making me happy.  the other two posts so far in this series are here and here.  have a great weekend!

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years ago i was in a conversation with a woman who was feverishly trying to convince me that she was secure and had healthy self-esteem.  it was a strange interaction because i never said she didn’t.   i had only shared some of my own feelings of insecurity and doubt and for some reason it triggered in her the need to tell me how strong, secure, and “free in Christ” she really was.  she was so adamant about convincing me that she was secure that she had no idea how insecure she really sounded.

i had a thought then that has lingered for all these years–secure people don’t need to convince people of their security.

in fact, secure people don’t need to convince anyone of anything.

they embody a groundedness that doesn’t need to get all worked up about things when others see things differently.

insecurity breeds defensiveness and a need to convince.

i do not want to be an insecure person; i want to be a secure one.

not secure in knowing all the right answers to the questions, but secure in feeling loved and okay-just-as-i-am.

for so many of us, security often remains elusive.  we care too much about what other people think.  we feel unloved and unlovable, we defiinitely don’t feel okay.  we’re always feeling too much or not enough.  we only see our flaws and never our strengths.  lowly worm theology is easier to come by than being the beloved.

i sometimes wonder what God thinks of all of the insecurity that has been bred in his name.

one of my top 10 favorite passages of scripture is in psalm 40:1-3.

“i waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

he lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

he put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.”

he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

often, as a spiritual practice, i try to put both feet on the ground, sit up straight, and take a few really deep breaths, noticing my feet on solid ground underneath me.  it helps turn my attention away from what feels like sinking sand underneath me and remember that i’m okay.  that God’s with me.  that my heart may be overwhelmed, but there’s a rock that’s higher than i underneath me (psalm 61).

at the refuge, we write on little rocks a lot (it’s a running joke) for all kinds of spiritual reflections and markers in our faith. today, if you can, think about what words or phrases you’d write on a rock (a big one!) that describe how God might be bringing you security right now–no matter what it is–that helps give you a firmer place to stand.

i know for some of you that feeling may be elusive.  that’s okay, but maybe what you can meditate on is what you wish your rock would say as a next step.

my rock is: “kathy, i’m with you always. always. always.”

what’s on yours?  what do you need to remember today?  

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coming next week: some ex-good-christian-women fun (if you or someone you know is making this transition toward greater freedom, would love to have you join us for our upcoming ex-good-christian-women’s-online group starting october 1st at liveittothefull.com. it’s going to be a good one!) & two more for the what’s like… series–what it’s like to lose a job in this economy & what it’s like to have cancer.