Comments on: the battle against the wolves http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-battle-against-the-wolves Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:04:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: kathyescobar http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-3015 kathyescobar Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:44:48 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-3015 donna - i will get it up to you guys next week! i love nerdy stuff that like, i didn't know that so thanks for sharing :) xo am thankful for you! donna – i will get it up to you guys next week! i love nerdy stuff that like, i didn’t know that so thanks for sharing :) xo am thankful for you!

]]> By: DonnaV http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-3003 DonnaV Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:21:33 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-3003 Send it!!! That would be awesome and much appreciated!! Email if you need an address for one of us. Anchors are just so stinkin' full of symbolism, did you know that 2 of the first symbols used by the early Christians were of an anchor and a ship in full sail on the sea? The little fishy thing came later....I know, I'm a little nerdy! ha Send it!!! That would be awesome and much appreciated!! Email if you need an address for one of us. Anchors are just so stinkin’ full of symbolism, did you know that 2 of the first symbols used by the early Christians were of an anchor and a ship in full sail on the sea? The little fishy thing came later….I know, I’m a little nerdy! ha

]]> By: kathyescobar http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-2999 kathyescobar Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:31:50 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-2999 <strong>mary </strong>- oh thanks for your honesty. i do believe we are often our worst enemy. the pull is there but to really do it is another story. our little games with God, with ourselves, are often so familiar so making some of these shifts will require entering into totally unchartered territory that freaks the $*!&!^!( out of us! <strong>valerie </strong>- oh we missed you! i will loan you the dvd because i think you'd really appreciate it. there are parts that i connected with, other parts that i didn't, but i think that it stirs up some really good thoughts. the mommy-ing part is so confusing and we really need to support each other in all of this...hope to see you soon! <strong>jasmine</strong> - my friend, i am so sorry to hear this. it is yet another example of how complicated things get and how deeply engrained the "system' is against change & equality. and regardless of your title i do believe you will be pastoring. it's in you & no systems can take that away. know you are close in my thoughts & prayers....peace and hope and strength to you. <strong>minnow</strong> - thanks so much for your honesty. i showed jose your comment, too :) oh sometimes i wish that you lived closer so that you could feel some others' hope here, too. but you are so right, changing the course in our thinking (let alone our actions) is so much easier said than done. i feel your pain & will just keep cheering you on from afar. <strong>debbie </strong>- thanks for reading & yes, i think that is so powerful. there's a movie that em des might want to watch called the power of one. i wrote about it earlier this year related to international women's day. it really focuses in on this thought about "what's good for a woman is good for men & children" hope to see you guys soon! <strong>donna</strong> - i can send the dvd up to you guys, i told pam & jessica and angie that, too. lmk and i'll be glad to and you can send it back. they were kind of pricey so we should just share! anchors are good sometimes, so important, but it does depend on what its purpose is, to hold & support and keep from icky stuff or to hold back from movement & going where it's supposed to go...sending you wind! <strong>christa</strong> - oh thanks for sharing. i love that as you have stepped into passion that was inside of you that your relationship has strengthened. that is what i have found, too, it has not harmed our relationship but helped it in so many ways. but i suppose that a piece is that we are partnered with men dedicated to change and that is a gift, a true gift. the dilemma of parenting in the midst of our passions and dreams will always be a dilemma & i hope we keep finding good and healthy ways to support each other to find balance & confidence in the midst. love you! mary - oh thanks for your honesty. i do believe we are often our worst enemy. the pull is there but to really do it is another story. our little games with God, with ourselves, are often so familiar so making some of these shifts will require entering into totally unchartered territory that freaks the $*!&!^!( out of us!

valerie - oh we missed you! i will loan you the dvd because i think you’d really appreciate it. there are parts that i connected with, other parts that i didn’t, but i think that it stirs up some really good thoughts. the mommy-ing part is so confusing and we really need to support each other in all of this…hope to see you soon!

jasmine – my friend, i am so sorry to hear this. it is yet another example of how complicated things get and how deeply engrained the “system’ is against change & equality. and regardless of your title i do believe you will be pastoring. it’s in you & no systems can take that away. know you are close in my thoughts & prayers….peace and hope and strength to you.

minnow – thanks so much for your honesty. i showed jose your comment, too :) oh sometimes i wish that you lived closer so that you could feel some others’ hope here, too. but you are so right, changing the course in our thinking (let alone our actions) is so much easier said than done. i feel your pain & will just keep cheering you on from afar.

debbie - thanks for reading & yes, i think that is so powerful. there’s a movie that em des might want to watch called the power of one. i wrote about it earlier this year related to international women’s day. it really focuses in on this thought about “what’s good for a woman is good for men & children” hope to see you guys soon!

donna – i can send the dvd up to you guys, i told pam & jessica and angie that, too. lmk and i’ll be glad to and you can send it back. they were kind of pricey so we should just share! anchors are good sometimes, so important, but it does depend on what its purpose is, to hold & support and keep from icky stuff or to hold back from movement & going where it’s supposed to go…sending you wind!

christa – oh thanks for sharing. i love that as you have stepped into passion that was inside of you that your relationship has strengthened. that is what i have found, too, it has not harmed our relationship but helped it in so many ways. but i suppose that a piece is that we are partnered with men dedicated to change and that is a gift, a true gift. the dilemma of parenting in the midst of our passions and dreams will always be a dilemma & i hope we keep finding good and healthy ways to support each other to find balance & confidence in the midst. love you!

]]> By: christa http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-2995 christa Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:57:46 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-2995 It's funny...I missed the screening because I chose to stay home and be with my husband and daughter. I don't regret that decision at all, but it shows even in a small way that always precarious balance that living is... I have 2 thoughts this brings out... The first is that I really felt I had to choose between motherhood and pursuing acting - it's too much to go into here - but still women are the ones expected to make that sort of choice and it shows the inequality that lingers in family & social & artistic systems. The second is that when I began seeing/learning/discovering a passion for co-pastoring and I began to step further into that role I had a beautiful experience with my husband who told me that he had always dreamed of feeling more of a partner with me (instead of my supporting his ministry) that we would serve/love together and that when I've stepped more and more into myself our relationship has moved in really lovely ways. It's still hard. I'm still the parent mostly responsible for our daughter and balancing my 2 jobs with his 2 or more jobs is not easy at all but there is some sort of freedom and love here that wouldn't be if we weren't stepping out. And I must say the work he does with his parenting is magical. We must all pursue our creativity and the art that lies within us so that ALL our sons and daughters will have fuller lives. It’s funny…I missed the screening because I chose to stay home and be with my husband and daughter. I don’t regret that decision at all, but it shows even in a small way that always precarious balance that living is…
I have 2 thoughts this brings out…
The first is that I really felt I had to choose between motherhood and pursuing acting – it’s too much to go into here – but still women are the ones expected to make that sort of choice and it shows the inequality that lingers in family & social & artistic systems.
The second is that when I began seeing/learning/discovering a passion for co-pastoring and I began to step further into that role I had a beautiful experience with my husband who told me that he had always dreamed of feeling more of a partner with me (instead of my supporting his ministry) that we would serve/love together and that when I’ve stepped more and more into myself our relationship has moved in really lovely ways. It’s still hard. I’m still the parent mostly responsible for our daughter and balancing my 2 jobs with his 2 or more jobs is not easy at all but there is some sort of freedom and love here that wouldn’t be if we weren’t stepping out. And I must say the work he does with his parenting is magical.
We must all pursue our creativity and the art that lies within us so that ALL our sons and daughters will have fuller lives.

]]> By: DonnaV http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-2993 DonnaV Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:57:42 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-2993 "being a big heavy anchor"....my husband said the EXACT same words to me a couple of years ago & it is something we have been working thru. I ended up twisting his words & reminding him how much stability and protection an anchor provides & that I did and DO need him to be that for me....even went so far as to get an anchor tattooed on my forearm so we would not forget.:) Seeing where you are at now and how you have made it work sure encourages me...I know there are times where it still has to be hard, marriage is not easy to start with but you and your man give me hope and for that I thank you! Going to suggest our community watch this movie...I had never heard of it but it sure sounds like one worth watching and talking about! “being a big heavy anchor”….my husband said the EXACT same words to me a couple of years ago & it is something we have been working thru. I ended up twisting his words & reminding him how much stability and protection an anchor provides & that I did and DO need him to be that for me….even went so far as to get an anchor tattooed on my forearm so we would not forget.:) Seeing where you are at now and how you have made it work sure encourages me…I know there are times where it still has to be hard, marriage is not easy to start with but you and your man give me hope and for that I thank you!
Going to suggest our community watch this movie…I had never heard of it but it sure sounds like one worth watching and talking about!

]]> By: Debbie http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-2991 Debbie Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:58:35 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-2991 Kathy wrote: "women’s issues aren’t women’s issues; they are global issues. statistic after statistic show that when women do better personally, professionally, economically that men and children benefit, too." Working in the education field I hear often the following phrase "When you educate a woman, you educate the whole family." That is powerful. Thanks for the blog Kathy! Kathy wrote: “women’s issues aren’t women’s issues; they are global issues. statistic after statistic show that when women do better personally, professionally, economically that men and children benefit, too.”

Working in the education field I hear often the following phrase “When you educate a woman, you educate the whole family.” That is powerful.

Thanks for the blog Kathy!

]]> By: minnow http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-2990 minnow Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:45:16 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-2990 I am 50. I have spent the last 25 years frustrated, confused, and discouraged. I wonder now how I got to the place I find myself. I have 5 children who are my favorite people in the world so I know it is not that I would chose to not be a mom. But I am stuck wondering when it will be my turn. Your testimony of change in the Escobar household is a glimmer of hope. I do not know if we will ever actually get to the place where my husband will willingly carry me the way I have carried (and continue to) him. At times, even now that I have worked hard for two years to reprogram my thinking, his "need" seems so great and mine so selfish, or secondary, or easily put on hold. It feels so much like a power struggle even when I KNOW it is actually a struggle to de-construct power thinking. I do not put all this on him. My thinking has been very hard to change--life is easier when I give in, give up, don't want, don't need, choose peace. It took me a really long time to believe that food left on the plate was no more wasted than food put in my body if I didn't need it. Choosing peace all the time is, for me, a little like choosing to waste the food by eating it rather than by leaving it on the plate. Turmoil and conflict inside is no less damaging than turmoil and conflict outside. Thank you, Kathy, for giving this old lady a little light at the end of her tunnel. And thank you, Jose, for choosing to love your family better by taking weight. (A backpacking phrase for re-distributing the load in the packs). I am 50. I have spent the last 25 years frustrated, confused, and discouraged. I wonder now how I got to the place I find myself. I have 5 children who are my favorite people in the world so I know it is not that I would chose to not be a mom. But I am stuck wondering when it will be my turn. Your testimony of change in the Escobar household is a glimmer of hope. I do not know if we will ever actually get to the place where my husband will willingly carry me the way I have carried (and continue to) him. At times, even now that I have worked hard for two years to reprogram my thinking, his “need” seems so great and mine so selfish, or secondary, or easily put on hold. It feels so much like a power struggle even when I KNOW it is actually a struggle to de-construct power thinking. I do not put all this on him. My thinking has been very hard to change–life is easier when I give in, give up, don’t want, don’t need, choose peace. It took me a really long time to believe that food left on the plate was no more wasted than food put in my body if I didn’t need it. Choosing peace all the time is, for me, a little like choosing to waste the food by eating it rather than by leaving it on the plate. Turmoil and conflict inside is no less damaging than turmoil and conflict outside. Thank you, Kathy, for giving this old lady a little light at the end of her tunnel. And thank you, Jose, for choosing to love your family better by taking weight. (A backpacking phrase for re-distributing the load in the packs).

]]> By: Jasmine http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-2989 Jasmine Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:15:46 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-2989 Hey Kathy! I havent commented on your blog in a while, so this is to say hi and also to comment. I've been doing a Gender Justice series at church since September. (Not too many messages b/c we meet only 2x/mth and sometimes only 1x if there's an event.) And recently, my senior pastor mentioned in our staff mtg (2 ordained men and 3 lay-pastoring women) that there seems to be an underlying 'gender issue' with us 3 women. In other words, without even listening to my sermons or asking me for the rationale behind preaching them, (which I was happy to give him in that mtg), he accused me of pushing an agenda. =T Sigh. It just never ends. In other news, the whole ministry I help pastor with the other 2 women at my church may get completely cut. They say it's money issues, but it may have a little to do with gender. I'm thinking we're not really the ones with the problem. By the end of the month, I may no longer be pastoring. =/ Jasmine, NYC Chinatown Hey Kathy! I havent commented on your blog in a while, so this is to say hi and also to comment. I’ve been doing a Gender Justice series at church since September. (Not too many messages b/c we meet only 2x/mth and sometimes only 1x if there’s an event.) And recently, my senior pastor mentioned in our staff mtg (2 ordained men and 3 lay-pastoring women) that there seems to be an underlying ‘gender issue’ with us 3 women. In other words, without even listening to my sermons or asking me for the rationale behind preaching them, (which I was happy to give him in that mtg), he accused me of pushing an agenda. =T Sigh. It just never ends. In other news, the whole ministry I help pastor with the other 2 women at my church may get completely cut. They say it’s money issues, but it may have a little to do with gender. I’m thinking we’re not really the ones with the problem. By the end of the month, I may no longer be pastoring. =/
Jasmine, NYC Chinatown

]]> By: Valerie http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-2983 Valerie Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:17:52 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-2983 Thank you for putting this into words. I was sorry to have to miss the screening - and am grateful for your heartfelt response to it. Reading through the "thoughts that linger" - I felt validated for how hard this can be, especially valuing mothering in the midst of it all, and that it is genuinely frightening to step out. So glad your voice is in my world. Thank you for putting this into words. I was sorry to have to miss the screening – and am grateful for your heartfelt response to it. Reading through the “thoughts that linger” – I felt validated for how hard this can be, especially valuing mothering in the midst of it all, and that it is genuinely frightening to step out. So glad your voice is in my world.

]]> By: Mary http://kathyescobar.com/2009/11/10/the-battle-against-the-wolves/#comment-2982 Mary Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:07:24 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2469#comment-2982 As with all unfulfilled dreams and desires, as well a the passion for equality, I loudly and bravely kick and scream and ask why or why not. I am this sort of victim of unfairness, watching others skip along growing in fulfilled dreams and passion, etc. And truth be told when fairness and equality draws near, when doors open, I am a coward. I don't really want to take on the responsibility of living in true equality or being given what I need to pursue passion. No, I seem to be much more comfortable shaking my fist. That's my game. And in this moment I realize that I don't want to be a game player. God, I lay my fist down and open it up. Give me the courage to fight, to believe, and to walk through doors when they open. CONTEND. That's the word I carry away with me today. As with all unfulfilled dreams and desires, as well a the passion for equality, I loudly and bravely kick and scream and ask why or why not. I am this sort of victim of unfairness, watching others skip along growing in fulfilled dreams and passion, etc.

And truth be told when fairness and equality draws near, when doors open, I am a coward. I don’t really want to take on the responsibility of living in true equality or being given what I need to pursue passion. No, I seem to be much more comfortable shaking my fist. That’s my game.

And in this moment I realize that I don’t want to be a game player. God, I lay my fist down and open it up. Give me the courage to fight, to believe, and to walk through doors when they open. CONTEND. That’s the word I carry away with me today.

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