karl – yeah, it’s fun to let go & see the beauty & uniqueness in faith. i am glad we are part of a place that gets to see that up close. there’s a lot to learn from each other.

lisa – i loved your comments, sorry you’re not so special anymore, hahah. i am glad you are part of these conversations, you bring an honesty that is always needed.

julie – i always appreciate your stories & perspectives here. i think the thing that you hit on is an awareness of our self-centered tendencies & how those kinds of in-grown eyeballs always miss something so much bigger. i love that Jesus is stirring up in you a passion for looking out & the ways that you can contribute to change. yeah!

joy – you rock. i love your journey & your willingness to admit where you were. it is so wild, isn’t it, how once that box gets broken open that there’s no turning back & a new and wonderful world is opened where God is much bigger than i ever imagined…

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I tried to imagine the reality of what I would know or how I would relate to the world…and it really made me start to question how I could claim absolute truth in my ‘brand’ of spirituality…as if I had something to do with the lottery of where I was born. I wondered if God just didn’t like brown or black people very much because they seemed ‘predestined’ for poverty, misery and distruction by their lack of right belief. I wondered about that.

Just prior to that revelation…I imagined that I was at the zenith of my spiritual understanding and practice and perhaps all I could add to it…would be a mission trip to a third-world country to try to fix ‘those’ people in one way or another! I could not listen to the ideas of others or spiritual claims and experiences of others with out having one of two reactions:
1) total panic that I would be infected spiritually with their ‘sinful beliefs’ and there for dismissing them or the conversation immediately OR
2)Feeling completely superior and grateful that I had not been born a jew, a muslim…mormon…whatever. And then dismissing them as lost and their experiences and knowledge and flawed and of no value!

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I saw a story on Nightline about a woman who has a shopping addiction. She has over $250K in credit card debt with an income of $100K per year. She has to have the best of everything and shops on Rodeo Dr. She has closets full of clothes. Many that she has never worn. I looked at her story and I thought what an extreme example of glutony. I didn’t think I could relate to her at all. Then I started thinking about my own use of the planet and the resources I have been given. It became very clear to me that I eat way more food than my body requires. I am overweight and that is glutony. Maybe the way I can make a difference right now is to not consume more than I need. Will that make a difference? Will less people starve? Maybe it won’t but it will give an example to my children and maybe influence them to only take what they need. Jesus lived on this planet and only took what he needed so I am going to try to do the same.

Okay, maybe my response is not what you where looking for but it’s what came into my head.

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So…I find myself out of sorts sometimes in a community where faith and doubt go hand in hand. Maybe because I’ve grown used to being the one person in the group who expressed doubt instead of unwavering faith. I’ve grown used to being “the only one” and felt proud of my own intelligence in not following the crowd.

To not be “the only one”. It’s a strange feeling. I’m not sure I like it. Maybe that’s how ego-centrism plays out in my own faith.

P.S. Ethnocentrism is also, according to my comparative studies professor in college, one of the reasons why the term “Middle East” exists. In relation to European nations, that area geographically was in between them and the “Far East”.

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maybe the same with faith? keep being brave to say the unconventional and uncomfortable.

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Egocentrism – who would have thought that there was a pre-existing term for this idea that so many of us are feeling:-)

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