Comments on: out of the darkness: hope & healing from sexual addiction http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:25:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Brandi http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-4207 Brandi Wed, 01 Sep 2010 07:10:15 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-4207 I really admire all for sharing. I just decided to google healing from sexual addiction and found this blog. i *just* learned that my boyfriend has been leading a very secret double life. I am heartbroken for the deep pain he feels. He has betrayed me in ways I can barely comprehend but I just want him healed. I'm looking for any help that I can be to him as he starts this journey of healing. Thank you again! God bless you! I really admire all for sharing.

I just decided to google healing from sexual addiction and found this blog.

i *just* learned that my boyfriend has been leading a very secret double life. I am heartbroken for the deep pain he feels. He has betrayed me in ways I can barely comprehend but I just want him healed. I’m looking for any help that I can be to him as he starts this journey of healing. Thank you again!

God bless you!

]]> By: Danielle http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-4007 Danielle Thu, 17 Jun 2010 17:58:09 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-4007 Great job. Thank you for helping to get the word out about sexual addiction. I provide counseling for people suffering with sexual addiction and feel this addiction isn’t mainstreamed enough and many people suffer in silence or are not taken seriously when they try and discuss their addiction. Great job. Thank you for helping to get the word out about sexual addiction. I provide counseling for people suffering with sexual addiction and feel this addiction isn’t mainstreamed enough and many people suffer in silence or are not taken seriously when they try and discuss their addiction.

]]> By: kathyescobar http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-2501 kathyescobar Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:06:19 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-2501 tom - oh thanks so much for your honesty. redemption and restoration and freedom are beautiful things. i loved what you said here, too, about hope for freedom and becoming people to journey with each other out of darkness into the light: "And people who will fight sacrificially for those in this or any other bondage and be willing to do so with love and patience regardless how hard and long the fight is." that's what i hope for more and more and more of in the "ecclesia" too :) that one's for you! ferg - well what a lovely gift of encouragement you gave. it means so much to know that someone from afar can receive a burst of hope here....thanks for taking time to share. it means more than you know! conrad - thanks for being you. you give us all courage and i for one am just so darn glad God brought you into my life and for the friendship and love. every day on this journey i am more reminded of the power of God's redemption & what can happen through Jesus with skin on. tom – oh thanks so much for your honesty. redemption and restoration and freedom are beautiful things. i loved what you said here, too, about hope for freedom and becoming people to journey with each other out of darkness into the light: “And people who will fight sacrificially for those in this or any other bondage and be willing to do so with love and patience regardless how hard and long the fight is.” that’s what i hope for more and more and more of in the “ecclesia” too :) that one’s for you!

ferg – well what a lovely gift of encouragement you gave. it means so much to know that someone from afar can receive a burst of hope here….thanks for taking time to share. it means more than you know!

conrad – thanks for being you. you give us all courage and i for one am just so darn glad God brought you into my life and for the friendship and love. every day on this journey i am more reminded of the power of God’s redemption & what can happen through Jesus with skin on.

]]> By: conrad http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-2498 conrad Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:06:46 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-2498 i have been blessed by all of your comments & stories. we serve a powerful God who is in the business of redeeming our ugliest stories as we walk with Him and live in community with friends that are honest, real and safe!!! i thank God for bringing those people into my life and my story. i have been blessed by all of your comments & stories. we serve a powerful God who is in the business of redeeming our ugliest stories as we walk with Him and live in community with friends that are honest, real and safe!!! i thank God for bringing those people into my life and my story.

]]> By: Ferg http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-2497 Ferg Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:10:02 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-2497 This kind of raw honesty is something I have been dreaming and praying about. God is preparing his bride and you guys are radiant!! Your testimonies are so powerful and I thank God for your courage and strength to share. You have no idea how much you will impact people with your stories. Bless you guys so much. Ferg This kind of raw honesty is something I have been dreaming and praying about. God is preparing his bride and you guys are radiant!!
Your testimonies are so powerful and I thank God for your courage and strength to share. You have no idea how much you will impact people with your stories.
Bless you guys so much.
Ferg

]]> By: Tom Wilson http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-2485 Tom Wilson Wed, 17 Jun 2009 06:03:03 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-2485 Wow! There is so much I can say and share however, because its late I will only say this. I too lived in bondage to sexual sins. It started at age 14 and I repented and it ended 9 years ago and I'm now 46 yrs-old. For me it was being brought to repentance, by a vision God gave me after the last failed relationship I had. I have lived a celibate life since. However for the first 2 years I had the memories of the pictures I'd filled my heart and mind with and it wasn't till I finally shared that with someone I decided regardless whether they reject me for I was going to tell this person that I completely set free of those images as if I never saw them or imagined them. In my case the man I told without me knowing it spent the following two weeks praying and fasting for me. All I knew is from the day I told him and since I have been free of that part of the consequences of years of sexual immorality. Believe it or not that is the short version... Thanks for sharing this and I hope it will encourage those in this bondage that there is hope for freedom and for those not to become a safe person or people for others to share the darkest secrets of their hearts with. And people who will fight sacrificially for those in this or any other bondage and be willing to do so with love and patience regardless how hard and long the fight is. kathy thank you for being one of those people for teaching an entire community by your example how to be that kind of people... Tom Wow! There is so much I can say and share however, because its late I will only say this. I too lived in bondage to sexual sins. It started at age 14 and I repented and it ended 9 years ago and I’m now 46 yrs-old. For me it was being brought to repentance, by a vision God gave me after the last failed relationship I had. I have lived a celibate life since. However for the first 2 years I had the memories of the pictures I’d filled my heart and mind with and it wasn’t till I finally shared that with someone I decided regardless whether they reject me for I was going to tell this person that I completely set free of those images as if I never saw them or imagined them. In my case the man I told without me knowing it spent the following two weeks praying and fasting for me. All I knew is from the day I told him and since I have been free of that part of the consequences of years of sexual immorality. Believe it or not that is the short version…

Thanks for sharing this and I hope it will encourage those in this bondage that there is hope for freedom and for those not to become a safe person or people for others to share the darkest secrets of their hearts with. And people who will fight sacrificially for those in this or any other bondage and be willing to do so with love and patience regardless how hard and long the fight is.

kathy thank you for being one of those people for teaching an entire community by your example how to be that kind of people…

Tom

]]> By: kathyescobar http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-2455 kathyescobar Sat, 06 Jun 2009 20:38:56 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-2455 stacy - oh thanks for your thoughts here. they were awesome! we are all learning so much about what God can do through each other. amazing, really, what the incarnation can look like. love to you! robert - thanks you for your honesty robert, i am so glad that this touched your heart and that the things that conrad shared resonated. so much redemption happening everywhere, thanks for your vulnerability. randi - wow, thank you for sharing & again i am reminded of the power of God's redemption. a while back at our house of refuge the topic was "the one thing" that we hold on to in our faith and for me it was that God redeems. he can make the most beautiful thing out of the ugliest. thank you for your story and your heart, randi, and thank you Jesus for healing & restoration! stacy – oh thanks for your thoughts here. they were awesome! we are all learning so much about what God can do through each other. amazing, really, what the incarnation can look like. love to you!

robert – thanks you for your honesty robert, i am so glad that this touched your heart and that the things that conrad shared resonated. so much redemption happening everywhere, thanks for your vulnerability.

randi – wow, thank you for sharing & again i am reminded of the power of God’s redemption. a while back at our house of refuge the topic was “the one thing” that we hold on to in our faith and for me it was that God redeems. he can make the most beautiful thing out of the ugliest. thank you for your story and your heart, randi, and thank you Jesus for healing & restoration!

]]> By: Randi :) http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-2454 Randi :) Fri, 05 Jun 2009 19:01:27 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-2454 I too am constantly amazed at what the Light can do when we allow it in. It's true though - the light can't come in unless we let OUT the darkness in safe community relationships. My husband & I share in similiar struggles and too have a wonderful testimony of how God can take our sexual impurities and can redeem, heal, conquer & truly set us free from ourselves and anything that is our idol. We both had searched for satisfaction & value through sex for so much of our adolescence and both of us came into our marriage addicted, scarred and so dark in this area...but God truly and fully HEALED. However, He couldn't heal until we would be open about it. Until the impurities were caught and there was a LOT of pain and heartbreak and tears... only until we truly came face to face with the pain and the problem - could the healing begin. It has been a work in progress but I can't even imagine how we lived for so long in quiet about our issues. I remember the day the light switched and God really soothed my soul that purity can be re-claimed when it's claimed in the mind! I didn't have to feel guilt & shame forever about what I had allowed happen to my body & my soul. Although we suffered with the consequences for our actions for so long - God truly did nail all of those sins to the cross and let us start over with a clean slate! The devil may try to bring up those thoughts and darkness in our minds but we truly have learned He has no power when we speak those thoughts out loud to each other and with openness & honesty come together and ask for God to take those thoughts away. The only power the devil had in our lives was in our quietness. The only tool he truly had was the fear we had to speak up. The fear of losing each other and ruining yet another marriage..... but ironically - the only thing that truly almost ruined it was our silence. Thanks so much for sharing and making me remember and praise God with you all --for all He can do! love I too am constantly amazed at what the Light can do when we allow it in. It’s true though – the light can’t come in unless we let OUT the darkness in safe community relationships.

My husband & I share in similiar struggles and too have a wonderful testimony of how God can take our sexual impurities and can redeem, heal, conquer & truly set us free from ourselves and anything that is our idol. We both had searched for satisfaction & value through sex for so much of our adolescence and both of us came into our marriage addicted, scarred and so dark in this area…but God truly and fully HEALED.

However, He couldn’t heal until we would be open about it. Until the impurities were caught and there was a LOT of pain and heartbreak and tears… only until we truly came face to face with the pain and the problem – could the healing begin. It has been a work in progress but I can’t even imagine how we lived for so long in quiet about our issues.

I remember the day the light switched and God really soothed my soul that purity can be re-claimed when it’s claimed in the mind! I didn’t have to feel guilt & shame forever about what I had allowed happen to my body & my soul. Although we suffered with the consequences for our actions for so long – God truly did nail all of those sins to the cross and let us start over with a clean slate! The devil may try to bring up those thoughts and darkness in our minds but we truly have learned He has no power when we speak those thoughts out loud to each other and with openness & honesty come together and ask for God to take those thoughts away.

The only power the devil had in our lives was in our quietness. The only tool he truly had was the fear we had to speak up. The fear of losing each other and ruining yet another marriage….. but ironically – the only thing that truly almost ruined it was our silence.

Thanks so much for sharing and making me remember and praise God with you all –for all He can do! love

]]> By: Robert http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-2453 Robert Fri, 05 Jun 2009 06:09:17 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-2453 so great to read your story conrad. You hit the nail on the head as far as taking away the power of the addiction by having it hidden in secrecy and shame. I have a lot of similarities t owhat you shared and i have sought to share on my blog for the purpose of healing and being a source of help to anyone struggling silently and alone. kathy has my email, please send me a message or visit my blog via the link from my name here, very much would like to share with you as i seek to break through into full freedom from this battle. Thanks for sharing conrads story in such a heart-warming and love-affirming way kathy!!! so great to read your story conrad. You hit the nail on the head as far as taking away the power of the addiction by having it hidden in secrecy and shame. I have a lot of similarities t owhat you shared and i have sought to share on my blog for the purpose of healing and being a source of help to anyone struggling silently and alone. kathy has my email, please send me a message or visit my blog via the link from my name here, very much would like to share with you as i seek to break through into full freedom from this battle. Thanks for sharing conrads story in such a heart-warming and love-affirming way kathy!!!

]]> By: Stacy http://kathyescobar.com/2009/06/03/out-of-the-darkness-hope-healing-from-sexual-addiction/#comment-2452 Stacy Thu, 04 Jun 2009 23:16:42 +0000 http://kathyescobar.com/?p=2036#comment-2452 Conrad, that really did take a whole lot of guts to share, so thank you. There were two things that particularily stood out to me in your story. "i truly believe that my healing could have never occurred without safe healthy relationships with women" Honestly, I forget many times that my gender can also be a conduit for healing, and reading that reminded me how powerful that component really & truly is. As a woman, I have heard so many more stories from the female perspective about how safe males have helped to start new chapters. I actually have more hope about what I can offer, just by virtue of my whole being. :) "but if we have invited safe people to enter the deepest parts of our lives and given them permission to push back on our resistance, they can be the lifesaver that keeps us from drowning." oooh, I remember in college discipleship group how everyone shuddered at the dreaded word *accountability*. While all of our pain and stories and lives are all so so different , that phrase was so scarily beautiful (?). When it is all stripped away, the truth is that I *need* to be asked the truth about my inner life just as much as anyone else. Thanks for reminding me, Conrad. :) Conrad, that really did take a whole lot of guts to share, so thank you. There were two things that particularily stood out to me in your story.

“i truly believe that my healing could have never occurred without safe healthy relationships with women”

Honestly, I forget many times that my gender can also be a conduit for healing, and reading that reminded me how powerful that component really & truly is. As a woman, I have heard so many more stories from the female perspective about how safe males have helped to start new chapters. I actually have more hope about what I can offer, just by virtue of my whole being. :)

“but if we have invited safe people to enter the deepest parts of our lives and given them permission to push back on our resistance, they can be the lifesaver that keeps us from drowning.”

oooh, I remember in college discipleship group how everyone shuddered at the dreaded word *accountability*. While all of our pain and stories and lives are all so so different , that phrase was so scarily beautiful (?). When it is all stripped away, the truth is that I *need* to be asked the truth about my inner life just as much as anyone else. Thanks for reminding me, Conrad. :)

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